• Love & Relationships
• Relationship Problems

Should relationships take a break?

By Eddy Ashioya on

‘We’re on a break’ are the infamous words of many on-again, off-again couples.

Taking a break in a relationship does not necessarily mean a breakup. It means you aren’t together but you have not officially broken up. 

Simply put, it means taking some time off from each other and your relationship.

If you ask me personally, a break is just a quick way for one person to break up with you without sounding like they want to break up. Think about it this way: You meet Caro, things are going well, you are in love with her, she knows how much you love chapo mandondo and avocado and even buys you avocado. She has ticked all the right boxes in your value system, and then one day you tell her you want a ‘break’ from the relationship. How? Does it make sense?

People don’t take ‘breaks’ from things they love and cherish. Or do they? To me, it’s either we are on or off. A relationship break is like being in that on-off position, you do not know where you stand with the other person, and trust me, that is one of the worst positions you can ever be in.

Relationships require two people to start but only one person to end it. In my experience, I have seen couples where one wants to continue with the relationship but the other one wants a break.

But a break to do what?

These blurred lines are another way of extending one’s heartbreak. You know the heartbreak is coming but you keep running away. Accept it. But, just in case you think a break can salvage your relationship, you have to set clearly defined rules and boundaries:

• Clearly define the purpose, expectations, and goal(s) of the break
• Define how long the break is: two weeks? three months? a year? Forever?
• State the boundaries of the break: Can you sleep with someone else? Can you see someone else? Be clear.
• Use the time for self-exploration and to decide whether it is time for a breakup

A break can help you figure out exactly the reason you are feeling unsatisfied in the relationship and if anything can be done to change it. If you take a break, for this reason, it’s important that you be honest with your partner about it.

If you have been unsatisfied in the relationship for a long time, there’s a good chance this break will result in a breakup and your partner needs to be aware of that.

However, by the time you are asking for a break, we all know the diagnosis of the relationship, you most likely don’t want to accept it. There’s no shame in breaking up. It’s better than a taking break.

If you are not ready for a monogamous relationship, you will be better off breaking up with them and satisfying your sense of sexual adventures while you are single.

Don’t use a break as an opportunity to have your cake and eat it too. As we all know, it’s not possible.

Have you ever taken a break in your relationship? How did it go? Talk to us in the comments section.