Image of two hands pulling apart a paper heart

Break-ups: the biggest cause

What’s the main cause for break-ups?

There are probably as many reasons for relationships not working out as there are relationships. Every couple is different, and so are their problems. Just think about your past break-ups. They probably all happened for different reasons; even though you were involved in all of these relationships.

But, to be honest, almost all break-ups have one common underlying factor: communication.

Relationships are hard. And no relationship is perfect. It’s how the two of you deal with issues that determines whether you will get through it, and come out stronger at the other end, or whether you will part ways.

And ‘dealing with it’ boils down to communication.

It seems easy enough. After all, we talk all day, every day.

But communication can be extremely difficult, especially when it comes to intimate issues.

If you don’t talk about problems, things will certainly go wrong. If you have issues, the sooner you bring them up, the better. If you don’t, talking about it will only get more difficult and one of you is bound to get hurt.
Don’t expect your issues to go away – they won’t.

What else can you do to ensure that things don’t go wrong?
Gain your partner’s trust. If they feel they can discuss their likes and dislikes with you, you have already gained a lot.

If they do bring up negative things, take it as a good sign that they feel comfortable talking to you about it, instead of swallowing their feelings.

When it comes to discussions, make sure you take the time to listen before you react. Feeling that they are not being listened to can be a devastating feeling for your partner and will make things worse.

Try your best to see the problems from your partner’s stand-point, as well. What may not be a problem for you may be a deal-breaker for them.

If you are having a big fight, it might be a good idea to take a step back and postpone the fight. If you both sleep on it and aren’t as emotional anymore, you are far more likely to come to productive solutions.

Good communication is not the only thing a relationship needs to be successful, but it certainly is the one the most important ones.

What do you think are other causes for break-ups? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook.


did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (19)

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution David.

  1. Enough is enough,I can’t…
    Enough is enough,I can’t love again.We break up just becoz of being known in a village that am a girlfriend of that loser.I can’t love again

        1. You are welcome Ruth. We are…
          You are welcome Ruth. We are glad.

    1. Janerose, you mean a lack of…
      Janerose, you mean a lack of honesty…

  2. Please help me it is 3months…
    Please help me it is 3months now and I can’t forget this man ,He left without any reason i feel so much wasted,,He was my first love ,He working class and I am in campus right now,I find hard for me love again.

  3. Lack of adequate intimacy
    Lack of adequate intimacy

    1. Thank you Sandra for your…
      Thank you Sandra for your contribution.

  4. Hae,we have dated for five…
    Hae,we have dated for five years now though a long distance rship.when we r around each other things wirk out so well for us…but wen am communication bcmes a problem n everytm i complain he claims he had been held up with some job issues…wat should i do

  5. My wife went to their home…
    My wife went to their home and forced me to go there I went to their and found her mother. Am now stressed coz she refused to back since am jobless

    1. Hello Kenneth, So sorry…
      Hello Kenneth, So sorry about this. If she left because you are jobless and refused to come back with you for the same reason then there is little you can do since you can’t force her to come back to you. But this also tells you what is important to her, to get her back you will need to get work.

  6. My wife left a week ago with…
    My wife left a week ago with every households leaving only my cloths and she’s expecting our first child less than two months time,
    I love her soo much, she’s now regreting what she did, i felt betrayed and i can no longer trust her,
    What should i do…

    1. Hi James, Trust is an…
      Hi James, Trust is an essential part of any relationship for this reason it may not be possible to have a relationship. Did you talk about what made her do this in the first place? Maybe you want to listen to her reason then think about whether you will be willing to give it another shot. If not you need to be honesty with her about how you feel. We wish you well.

  7. We recently made up, even…
    We recently made up, even though it was difficult. It’s been more than a month now, and everything feels like it’s returned to normal. He has begun to treat me better, and it’s been a healing process for both of us. The nightmare that had lasted for almost 2 years before we separated is finally over. It’s like we fell in love all over again! We’ve both put the past behind us, and are trying to move forward – and for the first time in a long time, the future looks a lot brighter. I met this man called Dr. Okojie online, He is a healer, who cures different disease and sickness with his herbs and roots and he also help people going through difficulties in marriage and relationships. He made prayers for me and use his spell to break the obstacles in my marriage.
    I can’t express in words how grateful I am Dr. Okojie! It’s like we’ve finally rediscovered those things about each other that made us fall in love in the first place. All of the worrying and stress has simply vanished.
    Thank you Dr. Okojie for saving my broken Marriage and brought my husband back to me !”.
    I and my husband are living together happily again. All thanks to Dr. Okojie. If you have any problem in your marriage or relationship, Don’t hesitate to contact Dr. Okojie now and I guarantee you that he will help you and put a smile on your face again. He is also a herbalist who prepares herbs that can cure deadly diseases. Email or contact him on WhatsApp: {[email protected]} Whats-app: +39 351 028 2398

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships