man and woman looking uninterested in communication

How to keep long-distance love burning

You have finally found the one, but how do you keep the love burning when there is distance between you? How do you make a long-distance relationship work?

Here are pointers from some couples we spoke to on how to keep the love burning, even if you aren’t in the same place:

  1. Communicate 

    You might be in two different time zones and your lives are taking different turns. One of the most important things you need to do: communicate regularly! But it doesn’t have to be every day. Once in a while it is healthy to have some “me” time. Try to also get creative with the communication; you can leave each other video messages or even be old fashioned and send a letter or a postcard. 

  2. Spice it up!

    Sext! It spices things up and the sexual tension is also healthy for a relationship. It builds up excitement and anticipation and it is also a departure from routine updates. It keeps things from being boring. You may not be physically together but you can imagine yourselves together – that fires things up!

  3. Trust

    Do not read into things. Not being able to see and experience your partner’s day to day engagements at times could send your mind spinning in the wrong direction. She didn’t answer your call yesterday? He didn’t text? Don’t read too much into it. You need to trust each other and give your beau time to get back to you. Maybe it was just a long day at work and they blacked out when they got home and forgot to call. It happens. But do talk about what is upsetting you, so it doesn’t become a big thing.

  4. There needs to be a return date

    It’s easier to fight to make the relationship work when you know in the near future your beau will be back home with you. A lack of a definitive return date can jeopardize things. Remember hope is what we all fight for. When you hear, ‘I am not sure when or if I am coming home,’ however true, that strains things and may cause frustration. How much are you willing to sacrifice to be together with your beau physically? You need to be honest with yourself about that and communicate it.

  5. Visit your beau

    It may take two years to save up, but do it and go. It is a sacrifice well worth it. And make sure you are both able to spend quality time with each other. There should be a moment for you two to take time off and enjoy being physically together. It’s all about quality time and the only thing that matters at that moment are the two of you.

  6. Remember why you chose to be in the relationship

    That should be the number one thing that you keep reminding yourself of. Separation is not a death sentence or torture. You love your partner and some sacrifices need to be made on both sides. If you genuinely understand why you are together, you can make it work.

Related: The Do’s and Dont’s of Long Distance Relationship



Do you have any other tips to that help spice long distance relationships? Share them with us on our discussion board, Facebook, or drop us a note below.  

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Recent Comments (33)

  1. Nop it needs alot of both of
    Nop it needs alot of both of u n…what I mean is the love should be reciprocal and maintain the communication I repeat if any of u gives up sorry the relationship ends in the end both parties loose trust in each other and it ends pliz long distance is something that kills u inside especially if people leave without even meeting

    1. Thanks for sharing. We
      Thanks for sharing. We appreciate your input.

      1. Hello Latif, could you…

        Hello Latif, could you please explain what you mean?

  2. Long distance is serious pain
    Long distance is serious pain if u knw distance is coming jst back out or fix the distance Cuz like it or not the fighting starts,goes to apologize followed by trust issues then later monitor in some wait loneliness comes in slowly chocking the couple then ignorance follows what I mean is this “he/she hasn’t called so I ain’t calling” u see then the red flags and ego climbs in till finally they or one of u can’t handle it……but dats my side of the experience if u love each other fight but make sure if one falls 2day the other will pick them up if u guyz know it’s worth it fight 4 it but sorry social media is part of long distance break up but 87% of such never survive

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

    2. thats wat happening to me…
      thats wat happening to me now!.

      1. Hi Immah, 

        So sorry to hear…

        Hi Immah, 

        So sorry to hear that. How are you dealing with it? 


    1. We are glad this was useful…
      We are glad this was useful to you.

  3. Trust in a relationship when…
    Trust in a relationship when two parties are separated by distance is a battle hard to be fought by both the mind and the heart. There are times when we abruptly find ourselves in need of the other but can’t make it . It’s the guilt of emotions that arouses the pinch of how much we need to be together but barred by geographical location. As time passes by, trust dims feom the fact that one will always give attention to who they interact with on a daily basis. Distance is a slow poison that kills relationships as a slow pace torture .

    1. Hi Triton, Making a long…

      Hi Triton, Making a long distance relationship work can be challenging but if both partners are committed to each other they can make it work. Some of the things that can make it work include frequent communication, planning to and spending time together, planning for the future of the relationship together and working toward it. Check out this article for more tips;-

  4. it gud to keep it bt hard if…
    it gud to keep it bt hard if dere z no trust.u must trust urselfs first

    1. Thank you Dhamiyu, for your…

      Thank you Dhamiyu, for your contribution. Trust is important in any relationship. 

  5. I must admit that its what…
    I must admit that its what am going through but not easy some times if you not faithful to your self then you may just end up into problem but the only thing which has made our relationship move on well is communication…its apowerful tool in the long distance relationship thanks

    1. Thank you for your…

      Thank you for your contribution Tony. It is true, that communication is really important.

    1. Hi Mimi, so sorry to hear…

      Hi Mimi, so sorry to hear that. Try and see your partner a little bit more. Also spend time with friends and try and keep yourself busy in between visits.

  6. Am in one n its draining…
    Am in one n its draining the faith out of my nerves coz i seem to hav that very negative notions as to why she has nt picked up my call i feel the best thing is to usually focus on the very important objective, am actually overwhelmed by the gravity pull down am a parent of two and it seems to me we must have prioritized our responsibility have a gud one guys.

    1. Hello Alek, at the end of…

      Hello Alek, at the end of the day, communication is a cornerstone of a strong relationship. Try and communicate with your partner, talk about how you need them to be in touch on a regular basis.

  7. Hello Alek, thank you for…

    Hello Alek, thank you for chipping in! Comunication is indeed an important part of any relationship and helps everything go smoother.

  8. Long distsnace love comes…
    Long distsnace love comes with very many challenges associated, Though its actually good ,most of the time p the parties need to watch out!

    1. Thank you for your input…

      Thank you for your input Velma, we appreciate it.

  9. Hello Collins, thank you for…

    Hello Collins, thank you for getting in touch with us. Writing love letters is not part of what we do. 

    Welcome to Love Matters Africa. We provide honest information about Love, Sex and Relationships. Feel free to ask any question and we shall be more than glad to respond to you.

    Love Matters Team

  10. I am into a relationship…
    I am into a relationship with dis guy we love each other but since this distance relationship i lost turst for him pls help me

  11. I and my girl have dated for…
    I and my girl have dated for almost 6years but now is heading 3years since we saw mate and i have a feeling she loves me no more only that she tells me she still inlove with me,communication is dooming no calls though i still love her,it has been hard parting with out

    1. Hi Mike, 

      The best way to…

      Hi Mike, 

      The best way to know whether she still loves you is to have an open communication about this. Long distance relationship can be hard but it can work. You can express to her that you are worried that your relationship is not going well and see how she responds. Is the communication is that she does not communicate with you like return your calls or text? If it is from her, you can tell her that it hurts you when she does not return calls or texts. On the other hand, be open-minded since she may no longer feel the same way as you. It is important for you to be honest with yourself, it is possible that she is no longer in love with you. She may have moved on and is afraid to tell you that. Read this article to learn more: Is your relationship the one?

  12. I have this girl who we met…
    I have this girl who we met with last year,built friendship and she said she has a guy abroad though they’ve never met since 2019….along the what started as friendship led

    1. Hi Noon, 

      I think your…

      Hi Noon, 

      I think your message was cut off. Share the entire message so that we can assist. Waiting to hear from you. 

  13. Am in a long distance…
    Am in a long distance relationship my partner stays in south Africa and am staying in Uganda,we met online it’s now two months,but the guy trusts me alot and I trust him too coz we are very open to each other,we are in plans by August he wants me to relocate to south Africa,he z a tanzanian but he stays in SA for work,he got me a job there that’s why he wants me to go and we start our future together and he z ready to pay for all travel expenses

    1. Hi Barbrah, 

      That’s great…

      Hi Barbrah, 

      That’s great to hear! While this seems like a dream come true, I would urge you to take all the time before moving to a foreign country to live with a man you have never met in person. I am in no way saying that he is not being honest but the world we live in is not very safe especially for women. Perhaps he can first come to Uganda so that you can spend some time together? This will give you a clearer idea about who he is and whether he is who he has been presenting himself to be. If he really wants to be with you, he will be patient until you are both ready. 

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