Sex when you are pregnant: what women think
What’s it like to have sex when you’re pregnant? Fifty women share their experiences of making love during pregnancy and after having a baby.
A good sex life is an important part of a healthy life – it can affect a woman’s self-esteem, well-being, and relationship. This is true whether she’s pregnant or not.
But despite the fact that sex and pregnancy are as natural as can be, put the two together, and it’s not unusual for couples to have questions and concerns. And it can be a pretty difficult topic to bring up with a doctor.
These are some of the reasons that gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Padmini Prasad decided to talk to women about their sex lives during pregnancy. She interviewed 50 women between the ages of 19 and 39, who were at different stages of their pregnancies.
Sexual differences
Thirty of the women were into intercourse during their pregnancies, though only two were getting it on right up until they delivered their baby, Dr Prasad learned. But others found they were only up for hugging and kissing their partners, and 15 women didn’t have any sex at all.
Everyone is different, and the physical and hormonal changes taking place in a woman’s body mean that some will be in the mood for sex, while others simply won’t. There are all sorts of other ways to get intimate, including cuddling, kissing, oral sex, and masturbation.
Sexual desire
Some women may feel more sensation and pleasure due to increased blood flow to their genitals during pregnancy. But for others, it could be just plain uncomfortable and painful, Dr Prasad explained. A woman’s breasts might also be more tender and sensitive than usual.
When it came to sexual desire, a low sex drive was an issue for 18 women, and 20 had problems reaching orgasm when they were pregnant. And just over 20 of the women said their partners had problems during sex, including trouble getting or keeping an erection, premature ejaculation, and lower libido.
For women who do have an orgasm, they might feel their uterus get hard and tighten afterwards. This can be uncomfortable, but it’s nothing to worry about – it’s just the ‘Braxton Hicks contractions’ which are a normal part of pregnancy.
And all the action can get the baby excited. After sex, it’s also common to feel the baby moving around and kicking afterwards – again, this is perfectly okay.
Sexual positions
It’s normal for desire and arousal to vary during the three trimesters of pregnancy. Sexual activity was definitely the lowest during the first trimester when many of the women said they felt nauseous and tired and just didn’t have much desire for sex.
During the second trimester, the women were in the mood for love once more. But then they had quite a bit less sex from the eighth month onwards, because of tiredness, weakness, and the size of their bellies.
Speaking of bellies, what sexual positions did these women and their partners find comfortable? Sitting up was most common, though the women also had intercourse on their sides, either spooning or with their partner in front of them, or in the missionary position.
Sexual satisfaction
Most women can have intercourse while they’re pregnant, as long as it’s not a high-risk pregnancy, and there are no complications, Dr Prasad said. And women don’t have to worry about harming their baby: the amniotic fluid and strong muscles of the uterus easily protect the baby during intercourse.
After giving birth, four of the women felt up for sex within a month. But it took longer for others – up to six months or more. A woman’s body needs time to recover and it’s a good idea to ask your doctor to make sure it’s okay to have intercourse again.
Being positive and happy about their pregnancy, and feeling attractive, can have an important effect on a woman’s sex life, said Dr Prasad.
And the secret to sexual satisfaction during pregnancy? ‘Communication, openness, and a little experimentation’
Source: Poster and Abstract: Prasad, P. (2015). Sex and Pregnancy (An Observational Study). Presented at the Congress of the World Association for Sexual Health.
Do you have questions about having sex when you’re pregnant or after delivery? Check out our forum, Let’s Talk!
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Recent Comments (32)
Is it safe though to have…
Is it safe though to have sex throughout the pregnancy period?
Hi, Sex is generally safe…
Hi, Sex is generally safe during all stages of a normal pregnancy, but you should always check with your doctor to make sure there will be no problems especially if one has had issues in a past pregnancy. Infact, it is not only safe but also good and pleasurable for the mother and leaves feeling relaxed and happy. As the pregnancy develops it is important to use sex positions that do not put pressure on the tummy, find a position that works and is comfortable for both partners. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
i have learn lesson
i have learn lesson
Hey, we are glad.
Hey, we are glad.
My girlfriend is pregnant…
My girlfriend is pregnant but I am not ready to have a child what can we do?
Hi, have you talked about…
Hi, have you talked about this with your girlfriend? It is important that you talk about this so that together you can arrive at an agreeable decision. Remember, she is the one to carry the pregnancy and for this reason she has a right to ultimately decide what happens even though you may not be happy with the choice she takes. Find a good time and talk with her about this, share you concerns and fears and also give her chance to share what she feels is the right thing. Hopefully you can come to an agreeable conclusion and way forward. we wish you well. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/am-i-pregnant
kids are blessing just be…
kids are blessing just be happy to b a father
Hey Zikky, we appreciate…
Hey Zikky, we appreciate your feedback.
Yes! you can go for adoption…
Yes! you can go for adoption instead of abortion! But plz don’t destroy the child! He/she is god gifted!
Dear Chayan, thank you for…
Dear Chayan, thank you for your contribution.
Adoption could be a bad…
Adoption could be a bad choice. It can hurt the child. I’d keep the child, if I could.
Hi Anonymous, thank you so…
Hi Anonymous, thank you so much for your feedback. We all think differently and prioritise different things. Whereas you feel adoption is a bad choice, some people feel it is the best they can do and that is absolutely fine. We are all allowed to make decisions we feel are best for us.
Include me
Include me
Hi Alex, where would you…
Hi Alex, where would you like to be included?
everything done under the…
everything done under the sun has consequences.
Hey, yes choices have…
Hey, yes choices have consequences and this is why it is important to way each choice before making a choice.
My husband thinks it will…
My husband thinks it will hurt the baby or I can get a miscarriage?
Hi Sera, your partner needs…
Hi Sera, your partner needs to know that the baby is completely safe and protected in the womb and sex will not hurt the baby. It is however important that you use positions that do not put pressure on your stomach. Check out the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
How long does it take for…
How long does it take for periods to come back after delivering normally and when is it safe to have sex after normal birth?
Hey Nina, ones breastfeeding…
Hey Nina, ones breastfeeding status will greatly affect when they’ll get their period again because prolactin, the hormone responsible for breast-milk production, suppresses ovulation. Women who don’t breastfeed typically find that their period returns four to eight weeks after childbirth. The breastfeeding should however be atleast every four hours during the day and every 6 hours during the night. If a woman breastfeeds exclusively it will take even more time before their period resume. Because of the variations, to prevent pregnancy it is important to talk to your health provider as soon a possible about an ideal birth control method to use. It is important to wait until your review after delivery before you start to have sex again. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-after-pregnancy-top-five-facts
At the beginning my sex…
At the beginning my sex drive was very low, thankfully my husband understood. Now its 100 my husband is confused. One day at a time…
Hey Dollie, it is important…
Hey Dollie, it is important to keep talking about the changes so that your partner understands and is supportive of what is going on. We wish you all the best in the rest of your pregnancy journey.
I took epill right after sex…
I took epill right after sex what is the chance that I can become pregnant?
Hello there, when the E-pill…
Hello there, when the E-pill I taken within the first 24 hours after having unprotected sex it is 95 per cent effective. This means there is a five per cent chance that one could get pregnant. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/types-of-birth-control/emergency-contraception
Tell me about safe days for…
Tell me about safe days for girls?
Hi there, safe days are one…
Hi there, safe days are one of the most unreliable ways to prevent pregnancy, and we really don’t recommend it at all. When a person’s safe days are really depends on the length of their cycle. Technically speaking, the first seven days before and after once period, as well as the time of the period, are relatively safe. But, if one has a shorter cycle (shorter than 28 days), or an irregular one, this will vary. Also keep in mind that sperm can survive for up to five days and longer inside the body – so even if oe has sex on a ‘safe’ day, they can still get pregnant, because the sperm survived until their ovulation date. So you see, it’s a very inaccurate. And lastly, of course this won’t protect one from STDs. Only condoms will. So we really recommend a more reliable method. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/are-safe-days-safe
Eversince I got pregnant my…
Eversince I got pregnant my husband is not keen on having sex I dont know why. Help, this is our first pregnancy.
Hi Jolene, it may help to…
Hi Jolene, it may help to talk with your husband to get know why they are not keen on having sex with you during this time. Your husband needs to know that there is nothing wrong with having sex during pregnancy. Find a good time and talk about this with your husband, let him share with you his concerns after which you can together agree on how to enjoy sex during your pregnancy. Additionally have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts
Iam 6wks pregnant and av…
Iam 6wks pregnant and av lost appetite always nauseuos bt the big worry is u feel like going for a long call when there u wait for ages but haitafika till u get tired u get out there what can i do or is it normal
Hey Berryl, what you are…
Hey Berryl, what you are experiencing is normal. you may however, want to consult your health provider for further advice on how to address the nausea. Remember, eating well is important for the development of the baby. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/being-pregnant/your-body-and-pregnancy
Hi am Bridget. Now am five…
Hi am Bridget. Now am five months pregnant is it safe to have.sex
Hi Bridget, thank you for…
Hi Bridget, thank you for getting in touch with us and the answer is a big YES! Sex is generally safe during all stages of a normal pregnancy, but you should always check with your doctor to make sure there will be no problems. If you have a history of miscarriages, for example, your doctor may ask you to avoid intercourse during the first trimester. But as long as you are having an uncomplicated pregnancy, you can go on enjoying sex right up until your due date.