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E. del Rosso/Love Matters

Pregnant: when should we stop having sex?

I’m very excited, I’m pregnant. At what point do we need to stop having sex? I don’t want to hurt the baby.

No need to stop until the water breaks

Basically, there’s no need to stop at all, right through a normal pregnancy right up until your waters break. After which it’s better to stop, to reduce the risk of infection.

‘Normal’ means low-risk for any complications such as miscarriage, bleeding, pre-term labour, or a low placenta. But otherwise, sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe because your baby’s protected by the fluid in your womb, by your abdomen, and the mucus plug which seals your cervix.

Your libido might vary

Though expectant couples do vary quite a bit in how much sex they want. Lots of women find that pregnancy makes them more aroused. Though fatigue, nausea, sore breasts, and the increased need to pee might make sex less enjoyable during the first trimester.

But the second three months can be wonderful.

The fatigue and nausea have lifted, and you’ll probably be feeling sexy again as you begin to ‘show.’

Your clitoris and vagina will become more sensitive, and so very many women become orgasmic during their second trimester.

Later in pregnancy, sex can set off mild contractions. These are called Braxton Hicks contractions and they’re perfectly normal and there’s no need to worry.

Many women lose their desire for sex late in the pregnancy because of their size, and because they’re preoccupied with the coming delivery.

As may your partner's libido

Dads also often feel inhibited by the fact that you’re carrying a real, live baby. While others feel closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Some feel anxious about the burdens of parenthood or worry about the health of the mother and the unborn child.

Figure out what works for the two of you

So you’ll need lots of open communication and mutual understanding to get the best out of these nine months. It’s also very important for you and your partner to talk about your feelings regarding sex whilst you’re pregnant. You’ll probably also need to get creative. Try different love-making positions, like the spoons, the woman on top, kneeling on a couch, or side by side. You might also want to expand foreplay and include more massage and back rubs. It’s also worth spending more time just sitting or lying close together and touching, holding hands, and talking together. Or experiment with massaging and touching each other in new ways

But definitely don’t rule sex out! Because sex releases oxytocin, which will make you feel good and more bonded to your partner.


Do you have more worries about sex during pregnancy? Head to our discussion board – our moderators can answer all your questions.

 

Comments

Hey Sophie, have you tried to find out from your partner why they won't have sex with you ever since you got pregnant? It is important you find out what has since made him not to want to have sex with you. Both of you can then try find a solution. Your partner needs to know sex is not only good for you when you are pregnant but also safe for the baby. Have a look at the following article and perhaps share with your partner as well;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-when-youre-pregnant

Hey Lennox, confidence is an important tip. Women find confidence to be attractive in a man. If you like someone, be brave approach and tell them how you feel to see if they would be interested. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

Saw my husband masturbating, I understand bcz we have not had sex for weeks because of the pregnancy and my mood. My concern is that can he become infertile if he continues?

Hi Hellen, first masturbation doesn't cause infertility. On the other hand, masturbation can be a safe way to relieve some sexual tension and stress. Also, you can still have sex even when you are pregnant as long as you use positions that do not exert pressure on your tummy. We wish you all the best in the rest of your pregnancy journey. Check out the following article;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy-top-five-facts

Helo doc, my husband hasn't had sex with me since I was three months pregnant n our baby is now six months old my question is does he realy love me coz when I ask him he says he has moods, pliz help. what do I do

Hello Mercy, looks like there are deeper issues than just moods since this has been going on for one year now. It is important that you have an honest conversation about what is really going on. Physical intimacy is an important part of a marriage. When one partner is unwilling or unavailable for sex, it points to deeper issues in the relationship. Find a good time to have this conversation with your husband, let him know how this is affecting you and your relationship and find a way forward together. Have a look at the following articles for more tips;-

https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

 

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