Woman holding her hands up as a way to push back
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I don’t want to have children!

I am married, and I don’t want to have children.

 ‘When are you going to have a baby?’

‘She needs someone to play with’

 ‘When are you going to make a grandmother?’

 ‘You are not getting any younger’

 ‘You will change your mind once you hold your own baby in your arms’

You may have heard someone ask or say any of the above to other people, or you may have asked them to other people.

Some families might choose to have just one, two, three or even more children. Others want none.

The thing is a woman or man can love children but not want to have any of their own.

The sad part?

Some people you ask when they will have kids have fertility problems. It is very insensitive to keep asking them this question.

Get out of people’s wombs and scrotums! What happens there is none of your business.

So, don’t ask when someone plans on having kids.

President Zuma's and his index fingers together
Pintrest

Some women, do not have maternal desire thus the decision not to have children is very intentional. These women see their friends and family with kids and they are not envious at all. They still don’t want kids.

They are happy with their lives as they are minus the kids.

That’s very possible. You can be childless and happy.

It is totally okay not to want children. Parenting is a choice. Children deserve parents who want to be parents.

In some cases, both partners are okay with not having kids, and in others, only one of them is. This is why the issue of kids needs to be discussed before marriage. However, in some cases, the woman or man may change their mind after marriage, and this should be respected too. It is up to the couple to decide whether they will still live together after this change of heart.

It is also possible for man or woman who didn’t want to have children initially to change their mind in the future. On one hand, this may be tricky since the biological clock is not very kind to the women but, on the other, thanks to science, there are medical solutions that can help them conceive. IVF is a great example.

For your birth control services, contact Marie Stopes clinic near you. Find a clinic near you here.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (23)

  1. i think it is someone’s
    i think it is someone’s decision.if they personally”women” don’t feel like bearing a child then it is well 4 them.wud prefer that than the one who will bear children ed refuse to take her responsibility as due.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  2. it not k,,the fruite ov a
    it not k,,the fruite ov a marriege or relatnship is a child or kidz,,a home without a son/daughter is like a spring without a source.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mohammed. What about people who cannot have children?

  3. it not k,,the fruite ov a
    it not k,,the fruite ov a marriege or relatnship is a child or kidz,,a home without a son/daughter is like a spring without a source.

  4. I also feel the same bt ma
    I also feel the same bt ma rizon is different

  5. 1.”I just don’t have

    1.”I just don’t have
    maternal instincts. My
    ‘ womb doesn’t leap’
    when I carry a child. . .”-not decision but infertile
    2.”I am prudent with
    money.”
    3.”The truth is I don’t
    want the
    responsibility. I don’t
    want to hold the
    future of anyone in
    my hands”
    4.”I am happier child-free.”
    i found it confusing,hajui anachokitaka.my opinion
    My company, my social
    life,

    1. Thanks for your input!
      Thanks for your input!

  6. I wish i could av a child of
    I wish i could av a child of my own. But i cnt bear. Its streesing me so much.

    1. So sorry, Faith! Have you
      So sorry, Faith! Have you seen a doctor about this?

  7. i wish i was her i thnk thts
    i wish i was her i thnk thts the best thng am pregnant n the persn responsible doesnt even want to hear abt it i bet if i were given a scnd chance abt it i would rather stay childles

    1. Mercy,

      Mercy,
      pole sana! We hope you can find a solution…

  8. Thats being selfish and
    Thats being selfish and inconsiderate

    1. Isn’t she allowed to make her
      Isn’t she allowed to make her own choice?

  9. i think she is just anoyed by
    i think she is just anoyed by past events. A woman loves to hold her own child and thats nature.

    1. Lenny,

      Lenny,
      maybe not every woman is the same.

  10. Not all women were ment to be
    Not all women were ment to be mothers. And as for this lady,she’s bold enought to say that she does not want to have responsibility over any young one and she’s strongly stood by it.. There’s nothing wrong with that. All women should think about this before they get pregnant. Are you or will you be able to take care of a baby fully without complaining or having any regrets??

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Di.

  11. if u dig deep her decsn is
    if u dig deep her decsn is affected by past experiences.its beta to make such a decsn rather than bring a baby when u knw u cannot care and bring him up as required

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Maggy.

  12. The problem with our society…
    The problem with our society is tat it doesn’t appreciate our great diversity.not all people share the same values or subscribe to the established norms in the society.some have different view of the life n wish their beliefs should also respected n not to b condemned.am also a subscriber of this belief n despite denounced by family members n friends,have no apologies to make or ashamed of it.

    1. Very well said Josh. We all…

      Very well said Josh. We all must respect each other beliefs and choices even when they are different from our own, or we don’t agree with the said choices and beliefs.

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