• Making Love
• Sex Problems: how to overcome them

Understanding women and sex

By Getrude Mungai on

My girl always denies me sex with her. In case we do have sex, she only gives me 2 shots, yet I’m not satisfied. What could be the problem?

Women perceive sex very differently from men. Men are far more physically and visually stimulated. As opposed to many women, who are emotional and have to feel loved and secure before they can truly give themselves.

Plus, women don’t easily get into the mood. Men, on the other hand, are primed to go at any time; for the survival of the species.

So – what do women want?

Sex is a long-distance race and not a sprint.

In the orient, sexual arousal in women is equated to water while that of men is likened to fire. Water is slow to a boil and also takes time to cool down. Whereas, with the strike of a match, fire rages on as long as there is oxygen and fuel. And when that’s exhausted, the fire dies down.

The average woman needs about 20 minutes of exclusive attention and foreplay to get her into the mood. If a man attempts penetration before the woman is ready and well-lubricated, it could be excruciatingly painful for the woman.

Sexual bliss for women

Now that you have spent time turning her on, you just don’t penetrate and thrust as fast and as deep as you can, and ejaculate soon after; that is not sexy. Women hate that! Before I can tell you what to do, you must understand that all the female erogenous zones and spots are located on top and only two inches inside the vagina at the most.

The clitoris and G-spot are responsible for two type of orgasm a woman can achieve (clitoral and vaginal orgasm) are not deep. Therefore, grinding and humping is more effective, especially for clitoral stimulation. As for the G-spot, it’s more a matter of position that enables the stimulation. Changing position after every three or so minutes will not only slow you down and make you last longer; it will also heighten the sensation for her. Shifting from clitoral to G-spot stimulation is so delightful that it might even lead to multiple orgasms.

Duration of sex

According to various research worldwide, the average sex last about five minutes. But due to the intensity, it seems a lot longer for both men and women. Most think it lasts 15 to 20 minutes.

However, about 10 per cent of men worldwide suffer from early ejaculation. That means sex ends in less than two minutes, which can be extremely frustrating and non-satisfying for both partners.

Myths and misconceptions among men

The facts are misrepresented or stretched in pornographic/romantic movies and among male circles. False impression and tales of men going six or more rounds and lasting 20 or more minutes in each session are common place. This leaves the majority of men feeling inadequate and not man enough in the sack.

What I am saying is: if your girl is down with one round, why don’t you make it worth your and her while? Make love, don’t have a quickie. There is usually one position in which every man cannot climax. Find out which one yours is.
If, for example, it’s woman on top, let her ride you to ecstasy, then when she is done you can do your thing; it’s a win-win for both of you.

Another thing, though rare, is women to have pre-mature orgasm. I know it’s hard to believe but there are women who reach the big O with a little clitoral stimulation and there after the clitoris becomes hypersensitive to touch. Thus she can’t stand to be touched again for a long while.

Please take care of your girl and find out what makes her tick and what turns her off. It takes two to tango.

What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook. For all questions, head to our forum.