Sex accidents happen...
TimothyClarke under CC licence

Sex accidents happen…

Sex-related accidents are common… Condoms break. Things get stuck in other things. Boys get confused for girls. Oncoming trains are ignored. You enter a ‘sexual cascade’ and end up dead… These news flashes and more in this week’s ‘Sex in the Press’.

Oops, I had gay sex

Researchers claim that ‘mistaken identity’ is why insects and spiders have so much gay sex, according to ‘Billions of insects are having gay sex “accidentally” say scientists’.

Basically, creepy-crawlies are in such a rush to reproduce that gender becomes secondary. ‘The cost of taking the time to identify the gender of mates or the cost of hesitation appears to be greater than the cost of making some mistakes,’ says one scientist.

Homosexual behaviour may be genomically linked to being more active, a better forager, or a better competitor. So even though misidentifying mates isn’t a desirable trait, it’s part of a package of traits that leaves the insect better adapted overall.’

The scientists also theorise that the male-and-male attraction is increased by males carrying leftover pheromones from earlier trysts with females.

Oops, I slept with my husband’s best man

Humans can also be indiscriminate: ‘Whoops: bride accidentally has sex with best man after getting into wrong bed’.

The young Chinese bride apparently entered the wrong room after getting disoriented on her way back from the WC. ‘Thinking the groomsman, named as Ruan, was her husband, she started kissing him. He was awoken from his sleep by the bride caressing him and after having sex they both fell back to sleep.’

When she woke up in the morning, she cried ‘rape’.

Ruan was eventually cleared of all charges. ‘The court ruled that [the wife] initiated sex and her behaviour was voluntary. It ruled she was liable for her own actions as Ruan did not attempt to impersonate the husband in any way.’

And who knows? Perhaps Ruan had some of the husband’s pheromones still clinging to him after a congratulatory embrace earlier in the day.

Oops, I just cascaded myself to death

‘Scientists had wondered for decades why some species of insect-eating marsupials dropped dead after sex, with speculation including that they died from fighting or to leave more food for their offspring,’ states ‘Sex kills for some male marsupials: research

But no: apparently their high testosterone levels causes a ‘cascade effect’ of stress hormones leading to the collapse of the immune systems.

‘They mate for 12 or 14 hours at a time with lots of females, and they use up their muscle and their body tissues and they are using all of their energy to competitively mate… It’s sexual selection,’ says a researcher. ‘They just kill themselves mating in this extreme way.’

While this shag-and-die approach to reproduction is common with plants and some fish, it’s extremely rare with mammals. Or so it’s thought…

Oops, I shouldn’t have ignored that whistling train

Train runs over couple having sex on railroad tracks in Ukraine’. The woman died; the man lost both legs; both were likely drunk.

‘My girlfriend and I could not overcome our passionate nature and wanted to feel a sense of thrill near a railway track,’ the man told police.

‘This wasn’t the first time lovers have tempted fate with a tryst on the tracks. In 2008, both participants were killed by a freight locomotive in South Africa after they ignored train whistles. The man was found still wearing a condom.’

The Ukrainian man may now face trespassing charges. Perhaps as part of his defence, he can say that he was temporarily locked into a ‘cascade effect’.

Have you had a sex accident and want to share your story? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.

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