First of all, premature ejaculation’s very common indeed in young guys, mostly as a result of excitement, anxiety, and high skin sensitivity. Fortunately, it can always be put right pretty easily.
And that's without drugs, creams, herbal supplements, or Chinese medicines, all of which have big disadvantages and can even be dangerous.
Practice, practice, practice
Instead, what’s needed is the right sort of practice.
Start off by training yourself to control things by touching yourself. Pause for a while as soon as you feel the slightest sensation that tells you that you’re about to come, and then start again. With practice, you can delay things many times over. And once you are ready to come, put a fantasy situation in your mind first, like making love somewhere a bit crazy.
Gradually that fantasy thought will become a trigger – which means that you’ll be much less likely to come until you pop that trigger thought into your mind.
Get a partner with a similar sex drive
Think about your low libido - is it just that your fear of premature ejaculation is putting you off? Or has your libido always been low? If you enjoy masturbating and do it often, then your libido’s normal. If not, then look for partners who’s drive is similar to yours.
Sex isn't just about penetration
Either way, when you are with a partner, spend lots of time just kissing and cuddling her – and not even thinking about what might happen next. Take everything slowly and gently. Learn all about her body and how to please her before you go any further.
She’ll love that anyway, and you’ll have a great time together.
Encourage her to touch you everywhere, so that you gradually become more relaxed about all forms of physical contact. The whole point of this is to get your body feeling loose while you’re being intimate, rather than tense and anxious.
Practice being in a love-making position where your body is physically relaxed, like the ‘spoons’. Side by side, with you caressing and holding her from behind. Get your body used to all the feelings of being close so that it takes more than that to take you over the edge.
All the time, go on caressing your partner with your hands, and if you do feel even the tiniest urge, stop moving completely, hold her gently and relax.
Involve your partner at every stage, because her support will go a long way to making you completely calm. And once you are, the problem will soon be solved.
For other issues with low libido and premature ejaculation, contact our discussion board moderators for help.