Should I go back to my abusive boyfriend?
My guy hits me often. Afterwards, he feels sorry and I don’t want to leave him. His parents have warned him about beating me. Should I go back to him?
He will never stop
Oh honey, of course, you should get back with this man. You should commit to a toothless life of being beaten regularly. He is after all so sorry that he cannot stop himself. He loves you so much that he wants to make sure that you are in pain both physically and emotionally. He will continue to love you in this violent way because even though his parents have warned him, he respects them enough to continue beating you. Once you have children, he will beat them too and yours will be the household that people point at as a warning and say ‘do not end up with a crazy man like that one’.
Leave now
Seriously, you must leave him. Do not look back, do not send a text message, and do not have a conversation to tell him that you are leaving. Just go. Run to a friend’s house and stay there for a few weeks if you can. Do not speak to him for at least three months. Run.
Abusive relationships are like a drug. The highs and lows are so emotionally draining that nobody gets out of it without help. Do not try to be the hero thinking that you can talk this man into letting you leave him amicably. Just leave.
You deserve better
In a few months, you can start asking yourself the hard questions: why are you willing to consider staying with a man who treats you this way? What is it about him that you find so attractive? Are you addicted to drama? How have you created this relationship?
You are not responsible for his behaviour but you are responsible for forgiving him and staying with him.
I am sorry that this has happened to you, it is very painful. I really recommend that you do not get into a new relationship until you figure out the answers to these questions. Professional counselling can really help you with this.
Good luck.
Related: Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships?
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Recent Comments (44)
dis is true nd hard to
dis is true nd hard to forgive ur self whn u aln bt if u blv in u am real sure u wil heal da story above touched my heart as ive bin lvng dat lyf too nd wateva stated da ive bin da victim so nw am stil on da run nd healing my soothing body nd curing my self by being strong thou it hard bt am sure i wil win
Hi Eunice,
Hi Eunice,
I am sorry you had to go through a bad experience. Stay strong, and I am sure you will overcome everything. Good luck!
ooh am sorry for that
ooh am sorry for that
Hi Helain,
Hi Helain,
thanks for your comments and your sympathy.
This is true. When u leave
This is true. When u leave dont tell him. Just run. I was just lucky im alive today with my baby. Warnings are there but i did continue going back to him. Coz i thought he is perfect for me. But things got worse everyday. From stealing money from me, stealing stuffs to other people, being too materialistic and fighting over sex.(he doesnt like sex with me, but he cheated with a prostitute), i knew it needs to end before he can kill me. He is talking about demons getting inside him. And he said he is much scarier than before with his flaming eyes.he is in rage. I dnt know why he is like that to me.so angry. He attempted to kill me. Luckily i got my other cellphone
This is true. When u leave
This is true. When u leave dont tell him. Just run. I was just lucky im alive today with my baby. Warnings are there but i did continue going back to him. Coz i thought he is perfect for me. But things got worse everyday. From stealing money from me, stealing stuffs to other people, being too materialistic and fighting over sex.(he doesnt like sex with me, but he cheated with a prostitute), i knew it needs to end before he can kill me. He is talking about demons getting inside him. And he said he is much scarier than before with his flaming eyes.he is in rage. I dnt know why he is like that to me.so angry. He attempted to kill me. Luckily i got my other cellphone and called my brother to save me. He got my other celphone coz he doesnt want me to tell anyone abt it. He even said wait, he is going to stab me with a knife. When he left the door. I locked it. He wants to turn the story upside down. He said he is going to call a police??. He is really insane. But then i said to him to leave me. I dnt need him anymore. He still ask for his wallet which is i know is imaginary. He asks for money so he cud leave me. I didnt give him any. Mybe he found something. Then left. I received death threats from him after that. Well i wished he is better now. I only wished he n his family to forget me. Thats all. I dnt want further damage.im happy now. Im free. Its when someone attempted to leave u like thrice or even once. Just go. Get out as early as u can. I learned from my mistake. I deserve to be loved.
Kristina, thank you so much
Kristina, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. We are grateful to hear stories like yours. We are glad to hear you are okay and had the courage to leave.
I have been married for 4yrs
I have been married for 4yrs n hv a 3 yr old son. Since last year, my husband suddenly changed. He stopped talking to me n could only talk when having an arguement. He started slapping me when we argue n then real beatings even wth a belt. I persievered n never talked to anyone about it. Three months ago he hit me so much on the head, I almost passed out. That night I packed my bags n left but he refused wth our son. I applied for a job in Lebanon and left the country immediately. I am happy without him. But nw he has gone to court to get full custody of the child claiming that I dissappeared and am nowhere to b seen. Please give me some advise
Tabitha, we are so sorry to
Tabitha, we are so sorry to hear this! We are glad to hear that you got away and are safe now. The best advice we can give you is to get a good lawyer. It’s a tricky situation and you need the best support you can get. All the best, we are keeping our fingers crossed for you!
Mama run for your life becoz
Mama run for your life becoz that man will kill u one day.
We agree, Chipo!
We agree, Chipo!
It’s merry to be wise, honest
It’s merry to be wise, honest,true off wid the old love b4 u are on wid anew love run bcoz u are over wid him unless u want more of the beatings remember u should leave to bcome peaceful not to acquire peace human strive to be that way.
Thanks for your comment,
Thanks for your comment, Benard.
i have a boyfriend and i
i have a boyfriend and i found that they talk with his ex gal friend through whatsapp and i found that he has alot of female friends whom they always chat.we have been together for 3 mnths and am feeling an easy about this.wat will i do
Hi Mary,
Hi Mary,
have you talked to him about this?
I have bf a having a 3 year
I have bf a having a 3 year old boy my bf abuse me cos he don’t want buy grocery at home he is taking his money to her sister nd every weekend he is drinking he doesn’t spend tym with us nd since we got a child he once buy his son some clothes now he don’t even know what size his son wears I’m doing everything 4 myself nd my son
I’m so sorry, Tihokaina!
I’m so sorry, Tihokaina!
Is there a chance that you can make the situation better for you and your son?
i dhank luv matters coz every
i dhank luv matters coz every dei on i learn s’thig new .
Aww, we are so happy to hear
Aww, we are so happy to hear that!
That’s so true
That’s so true
It is such a heartbreaking
It is such a heartbreaking circle and they have a way of getting you back it has taken 8 years of getting out of an abusive relationship many scars! am forgiving myself each day and taking a day at a time.
Thank you for your insightful
Thank you for your insightful words!
Who hits you doesnt care,who
Who hits you doesnt care,who love you take care of you and respects you
We agree- a partner who hits
We agree- a partner who hits you doesn’t respect you.
my dude parted with me bkoz
my dude parted with me bkoz of my friends he thinks that i sleep with them n they hav there chics i got angry n we quarrld i still luv him n hes not ready to have me back it is hurtng me xo much wot will i do
Nancy,
Nancy,
sometimes, these things need to time. Have some patience, and then try to talk to him again. Good luck!
why shd men abuse their wives
why shd men abuse their wives.,both r grown ups n need to solve issues by negotiations nt arguments which lead to abuse…if cases r severe cal some elders or informed persons to advice u…if extreme then separate
why shd men abuse their wives
why shd men abuse their wives.,both r grown ups n need to solve issues by negotiations nt arguments which lead to abuse…if cases r severe cal some elders or informed persons to advice u…if extreme then separate
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Purity! We agree.
i don’t think a man should
i don’t think a man should even raise a hand at his wife/girlfriend becoz we men are the who ask for their love
just imagine how long it took u to get that gal b4 en afta u start mistreating her
women have a right to be happy,they aren’t slaves or maids in a man’s house afterall ur the one who picked her she iz ur one in amillion.
such men shld styl up
ladies u should also take sometime to study a man b4 accepting him…….
Thanks for your input, Emmy!
Thanks for your input, Emmy!
An abusive rlship is not
An abusive rlship is not healthy,i had 1 whom we courted for six yrs then married for two yrs n he was always drunkard but used the words ‘i luv even tho i take bear’to an xtent n make the matter worse he was an AP n later he was expelled out of job n from there i left for the better of ma lyf lather than sharing with a less lyf care
Wow, so sorry about that,
Wow, so sorry about that, Josephine. What a story!
I tend to agree to my
I tend to agree to my conscience that love is grounded in the heart.You may break up for a reason or two,bt still,the quote remains..u r connected heart to heart…
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Isaiah.
Goin’ back to tht person you
Goin’ back to tht person you call a boyfriend is a faint shadow of reality!
That means you are desperate for him.
He’s as well enjoyin your input to tryin to keep the rlshp at bay.
He knows no matter what,you cant walk away.
Try a new trick- goin silent_no contact,
for a generous duration of time.
If he wl come for you,
then wat the hell?
Thank you so much for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Isaiah.
Sometimes,we men its like we
Sometimes,we men its like we do things accidentally
But since it has happened for several times,i advise you to let go and move on
Life is worth waiting for…
Thanks for the advice .
Thanks for the advice .
we are new marieds wz one son
we are new marieds wz one son, he has a gal en told m she z jst a frend. one nyt, they cam at hom at 9 pm en told m they a going out, they went together en left m hom, on returning, he cam alone at 6am. wen i askd him, he bet m. weneva we a discusng, he brings a story about ha.wen i say anything, he bits m.plz help
Hi
Hi
Being in an abusive relationship is among the worst things you can do. Its never easy to get out of it.
Rea more to get help here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/abusive-relationships .
Sorry
Sorry
Walk out love is not all…
Walk out love is not all about hitting n saying sorry pliz lady spare your heart iys fragile to be broken all the time it might end up cracking n getting heart attacks. He is not ment for you go n wait for your right guy he will come your way dia.
Thank you for your…
Thank you for your contribution Gladian.