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Alphonce Omondi

Should I go back to my abusive boyfriend?

By Valentine Njoroge February 24, 04:34 pm
My guy hits me often. Afterwards, he feels sorry and I don't want to leave him. His parents have warned him about beating me. Should I go back to him?

He will never stop

Oh honey, of course, you should get back with this man. You should commit to a toothless life of being beaten regularly. He is after all so sorry that he cannot stop himself. He loves you so much that he wants to make sure that you are in pain both physically and emotionally. He will continue to love you in this violent way because even though his parents have warned him, he respects them enough to continue beating you. Once you have children, he will beat them too and yours will be the household that people point at as a warning and say 'do not end up with a crazy man like that one'.

Leave now

Seriously, you must leave him. Do not look back, do not send a text message, and do not have a conversation to tell him that you are leaving. Just go. Run to a friend’s house and stay there for a few weeks if you can. Do not speak to him for at least three months. Run.

Abusive relationships are like a drug. The highs and lows are so emotionally draining that nobody gets out of it without help. Do not try to be the hero thinking that you can talk this man into letting you leave him amicably. Just leave.

You deserve better

In a few months, you can start asking yourself the hard questions: why are you willing to consider staying with a man who treats you this way? What is it about him that you find so attractive? Are you addicted to drama? How have you created this relationship?

You are not responsible for his behaviour but you are responsible for forgiving him and staying with him.

I am sorry that this has happened to you, it is very painful. I really recommend that you do not get into a new relationship until you figure out the answers to these questions. Professional counselling can really help you with this.
Good luck.
 

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Comments
Hi Being in an abusive relationship is among the worst things you can do. Its never easy to get out of it. Rea more to get help here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/abusive-relationships .
gladian
Thu, 04/20/2017 - 09:48 pm
Walk out love is not all about hitting n saying sorry pliz lady spare your heart iys fragile to be broken all the time it might end up cracking n getting heart attacks. He is not ment for you go n wait for your right guy he will come your way dia.
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