Male rape: top five facts
Plume Photography

Male rape: top five facts

Male rape is rarely talked about in Kenya. However, that does not mean it doesn’t happen. Sadly, many men get raped in Kenya each year and we need to speak out to protect the rights of all people in the country.

  1. What is rape?

    Being raped means having your vagina, anus or mouth penetrated without giving your consent, either with a penis or anything else.

    Giving consent means that you have agreed to what is happening. You need to make the decision without fear or threat: if someone threatens or hurts you to make you say ‘yes’, it’s not consent! Neither is silence. Rape can happen if someone is physically forcing you to have sex with them, but they could also blackmail you, or threaten you in other ways. It is also rape if someone takes advantage of you while you are asleep, unconscious or on drugs or alcohol.

  2. It is not just for girls  

    Many people believe that rape only happens to women. This is partly because in the media and the news you usually only see or hear of women being raped. However, men can be raped too. Penetration of the mouth or the anus without consent counts as rape. Many men get raped by other men, but also by women who can use dildos or other objects.

    Men are less likely to report that they have been raped, which can lead to underreporting and a lack of statistics about male rape. No one should ever have their body violated, both men and women have the right to consent to sexual acts. In Kenya, people need to speak out to make sure that the law protects both women AND MEN against rape.

  3. Most people know their rapist

    When we see rape in movies and TV, we often see a stranger attacking a person on the street. However, most rapes occur between people who know each other. This may be a friend, family member, or even their date or partner. Sometimes rape can even occur in a marriage. Just because you know someone or sometimes let them touch you does not mean that they can have sex with you when you do not want it. Regardless of how you know the person, you always have the right to say ‘no’. Men, like women, may not want to have sex all the time. Choosing to have sex is a personal choice based on health, mood, desire and comfort.

  4. Not man enough?

    Many men feel they were not ‘strong enough’ to fight or resist the rape. They blame themselves and feel they deserved to be raped because they could not stop it happening. Though this is a normal thought process, it is incorrect. No one ever wants or is looking to be sexually assaulted. It can be very confusing and harmful when someone takes advantage of you and threatens your physical security. Many people often struggle with trusting new people or being physically intimate after being a survivor of rape or sexual assault. It is important to reach out and talk to someone, either a counsellor, support group, hotline, doctor, religious leader, family member or someone you trust to help you work through the emotional side of the attack.

  5. It does not determine your sexual orientation

    When a guy is raped by another guy he often fears this means he is now gay. Yet, the majority of male rapists are heterosexual. Being gay requires an emotional connection and desire for other men. Having unwanted sexual contact does not change your orientation. This is also true if you are gay and are raped by a woman, it should not change how you see yourself and understand your sexuality. Sometimes men cum during rape. It is important to understand that it this is just a physical response and does not mean that a person enjoyed what is happening. Men can have an erection or orgasm even when scared, frightened or attacked.
     

    Have you ever heard of male rape? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below or via Facebook.

did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (8)

  1. Yea,its a fact, Men are being
    Yea,its a fact, Men are being raped but fail to report for fear of: being stigmatized,having bad reputation amongst his mates and unnecessary critics from the public..Lets all rise and deffend dignity as men!!!

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Robert.

  2. Thats true indeed.But many
    Thats true indeed.But many men have that notion of deep african stigmatization that they would be looked down upon and also shunned from society who may call them gay for the reason that they wanted it to happen of which is not the case.This should be spoken about more often..
    Congrats for this enlightenment.

  3. Its true men are raped but
    Its true men are raped but due to fear for intimidation from pals and fear for being rejected by women which may fail them to marry, they fail to report

    1. Yes that is indeed very true.
      Yes that is indeed very true. Thanks for your input Odwar.

  4. It happens but we men…
    It happens but we men stigmatised ourselves beyond such that no case is being reported coz of extreme fear of being coward or weak cell.

    1. Hi Kiyeng, 

      True. There is…

      Hi Kiyeng, 

      True. There is also the belief that only men get raped thus some people may not believe a man who says he was raped. Yes, men may be called weak or cowards, or other bad names, if they report rape. Male rape is unreported because even authorities do not take it seriously. It is very sad. Every man needs to know that they can, and should, report rape. There is also definitely the need to sensitize the community about the prevalence of male rape and its effects on the physical,  mental and psychological aspects of men. 

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships