Should I check partner’s phone?
You are dating this dude or girl, things are going pretty well. You are already picturing your future together. Forever.
At this point in your relationship, what’s his is yours, what’s yours is, okay not always his.
They are in the bathroom. There are several message alert tones. The phone is a few centimeters from you. You are curious to know the context of the messages and most importantly the sender. Should you?
You are itching to check the messages – I mean, you guys share a bed, what is a phone?
If you don’t check, chances are that life will go on. If you do, well you may find exactly what you are searching for. Chances are that the moment they enter the room, the first question will be: ‘who is Kevo?!’ Or ‘who is Carol?!’
You know, there are some conversations don’t look forward to. Like the one where you sit your partner down and utter the four magic words that spell doom: ‘We need to talk.’
Weh! no one, especially men, likes to hear those words.
What you don’t know …?
Personally, in all my relationships I avoid my partner’s phone like the plague. I am a lover and I don’t have enough strong muscles to get heartbroken. I’m weak.
You may go through and find that she is flirting with ‘Kevo MaWeights,’ the estate gym instructor who is made of nothing but pure sinew and muscles. She is hurting you twice—breaking your heart before Kevo breaks your bones.
This is wisdom that has been derived from years of dedicated research, ancient Chinese tradition, and my grandfather.
What you don’t know can’t hurt you.
How to be happy:
Rule number 1: Leave Your Partner’s Phone
Rule number 2: Refer to rule number 1 above
In Kakamega, we have a cultural icon that we believe has mystic powers. It’s called the Crying Stone. Personally, I think we should lobby the government to add another crying stone that is easily accessible to everyone—our partners’ phones.
If I was an actor, I would prefer to act in highly emotional scenes. It wouldn’t be hard to cry if I could remember the things I have seen on people’s phones.
I’m probably crying now.
I know what you are thinking: But why does he have such a fatalistic view of relationships? I don’t. I’m a realist. It’s also just a sign of respect to give people their privacy.
Here’s my passionate appeal: treat your partner’s phone as an active crime scene. Sure, the perpetrator may actually be innocent, but to protect your heart muscles, and to save your tears for the day you graduate, or win a lottery, do not tamper with an active crime scene.
Love may be blind, but your eyes are not.
Have you ever checked your partner’s phone? Talk to us in the comments section.