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I hate my cheating husband

My husband cheated on me and now he’s sick. I’m expected to support him and pretend that everything is okay but honestly am dying on the inside.

I want to divorce him. I’m only 27 and feel like I can still find a faithful man, but I have lost faith in my marriage and I don’t wanna try and fix it. Please help.

I do sympathise with you. Being cheated on is always awful, and sadly there’s no easy answer to your problem. If you stay in the marriage you’ll feel dreadful, at least to begin with. If you leave you’ll worry that everyone’s looking down on you. You just can’t win either way.

So what should you do?

First of all, you say your husband’s sick and you’re having to support him. I assume he’s getting treatment for his illness? And will be able to return to work before long? If that’s the case, then I’d suggest you at least try to think about forgiving him and getting your marriage back on track.

But the way you’ve described the situation suggests that you’re finding the idea of staying together very hard. And I can understand how you’re feeling. You’re young, and your faith in your husband has been shattered.

And sad though it is to say this, most marriages are affected by some sort of infidelity at some point or other.

But most couples succeed in understanding why the cheating happened and putting that right. And successfully carry on together – often much better than before: more honest, and with a better and more realistic sort of trust. Based on a real understanding of the sort of risky behaviours that make an affair more likely. Like mixing with the wrong friends. Drinking too much – and in the wrong places.
Or giving your partner a hard time, so they end up talking about their troubles to someone else.

Put things like that right, and no-one strays again. In effect, a new start to the relationship, on a less romantic but more practical basis.

Sometimes that’s just not possible. Perhaps because a spouse won’t make the necessary changes to restore trust. Or maybe your husband’s illness means he can never work again. Or have children. Then you must leave. You’ll feel bad about that of course, and making a new start’s always hard. But much better than a lifetime of regret.

So try to talk to your husband. Agree a plan to get him back to health – and back to work. Discuss his infidelity, with a counsellor if necessary. Agree what needs to change to prevent another affair.
Forgive him, so that the memory of what happened loses its hold over you. And if that’s not possible, at least you’ll know that you tried your best.

What would you do? Leave or stay? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook. For any questions, head to our discussion board.

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Recent Comments (12)

  1. I sympathize with you,i can…
    I sympathize with you,i can’t imagine what you’re going through.Being cheated on is so painful but in anyway if he realizes his mistake(s)and apologizes kindly find some place in your heart and forgive him.About his sickness,that is the most trying time in life when you both have to be tight together and he truly needs your shoulder to lean on and about divorcing him,this is your own road to take but first weigh the good deeds against the bad he has done and what you have done to him.If you are human and believe in true love then listen to your soul and make a decision.

    1. Thank you Davies for your…
      Thank you Davies for your contribution.

  2. Once a snake always one mine…
    Once a snake always one mine cheated I forgave but it became a habit cheating forgiving, cheating forgiving..Now am not in that marriage after wasting my time hoping for change

    1. Hey Cate, so sorry about…
      Hey Cate, so sorry about this. It is a good thing that you made a choice that you felt was right for you.

  3. My dia akina wanaume mzuri…
    My dia akina wanaume mzuri duniani amewai kukuletea kwa nyumba kucheat na jirani maid wafanya kazi wanaume wako hivo mwanaume mzuri in hule anaheshimu mke wake akifanya ufanyia mbali na a make sure my wife asijue that is respect we need or can show to you akuna madarau kama mwanaume kuhanya mbele zako Mimi wanyu akohivyo sijui nifanye nini

    1. Hi Abby, Respect ni pale mme…
      Hi Abby, Respect ni pale mme wako hacheat whether ni mbele yako ama anafanyia mbali.Kama anakurespect hata fanyi mbele yako au mbali na wewe. Kama mme wako anacheat mbele yako kila wakati ni vizuri mzungumze kuhusu hili njamba alafu mkubaliane vile uhusiano utaendelea ama kama uhusiano utaisha. Tafuta wakati mzungumze. Check out this article;-

  4. Almost my case,wangu…
    Almost my case,wangu nimechoka kuxamehe each ad every tym,av reached a point of quiting and xtay xingle tho av a child with him,enogh is enough

    1. So sorry about this Maggy…
      So sorry about this Maggy. Cheating and repeated cheating hurts a relationship deeply and at some point there maybe not other options other than to end things. If you no longer feel that the relationship can work let your partner know and agree on how to take care of the child should you separate.

  5. My husband has been cheating…
    My husband has been cheating on me severally and he hasn’t ask for forgiveness even one and then i decided to cheat on him also he almost died till he is so stressfull what should i do he has forgiven me already

    1. Hi Carol, Perhaps you both…
      Hi Carol, Perhaps you both need to agree on what it is you want and if you still want to be together you need to commit to your relationship and to each other. Two wrongs don’t make a right, talk about what happened and agree together on how proceed.

  6. mine cheated on me too, I…
    mine cheated on me too, I forgave him but revenged by sleeping with another man thinking that it will make me heal completely but, it didn’t. I get this episodes when I remember what he did and I hate him

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