Too shy to ask her on a date?
There is this girl I really like, but I’m too shy to approach her. I really don’t know how to ask her for a date. Please help me out.
Oh wow! We’ve all been there… Clever, smart, and funny with all the wrong people. And then we get in front of the person we like and our brain flees the building, leaving us stammering, sweating, and idiotic with the one person we really want to impress. If I had a confirmed cure for this I would be a billionaire…
I do have some suggestions though:
- The first thing is to remember that she is really just a girl. Yes, you like her, but she is simply a girl. So stay calm.
- Then try flirting with other women. I don’t mean that you ask other people out or lead them on in anyway, but try smiling and complimenting women around you. Tell a waitress that you like her perfume and joke with the lady you get your groceries from. These positive interactions with women will boost your confidence and put you more at ease with the ladies.
- Instead of asking your crush out on a full-on date, how about simply saying hello and starting a conversation? Most people will agree that this is half the battle as once you are talking you will find out what she likes, the kind of stuff she enjoys doing etc.
- Once you are talking, perhaps you can invite her to hang out with your friends at some group activity? Perhaps a concert? Group activities will ease the tension and make it easier for you to be yourself, instead of sitting across from her in a coffee shop trying to make interesting conversation for an hour or two. Once you get to know her a little more through group activities, then you can ask her out on a one-on-one date and take it from there. Just remember that the more relaxed you are, the more you will shine and the higher your chances of success.
Any more tips in asking someone out? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on social media. You can find us at Love Matters Kenya and Love Matters Naija.
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Recent Comments (130)
i nid agirl who i can m…
i nid agirl who i can m…
Sorry Amos, we can’t help you
Sorry Amos, we can’t help you with that! Check out our flirting tips, though!
Really
Really
Okay
Okay
Who can i date?
Who can i date?
Whoever you want to date, as
Whoever you want to date, as long as they agree!
looking 4
looking 4
You can call me …
You can call me
We appreciate your…
We appreciate your contribution Ray.
Thanks, need someone who’s…
Thanks, need someone who’s serious
Always pleased to help…
Always pleased to help Shoddy! Please feel free to go through more of our content and let us know what you think and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!
Which gender u are plz first
Which gender u are plz first
Hi Steven,
The article is…
Hi Steven,
The article is based on a question that was asked by a man.
wawa rily
wawa rily
Are you too shy, too?
Are you too shy, too?
Yes am shy too
Yes am shy too
Hey Peace, try out the…
Hey Peace, try out the suggestions in the article above. We wish you all the best.
There is a girl I like but…
There is a girl I like but am too shy to ask her out
Hello Henry, Reaching out to…
Hello Henry, Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive.
The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.
Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.
Everyone has nerves and the girls know that.
I need to know on how i can…
I need to know on how i can approach alady.
Hi Awidhi, thank you so much…
Hi Awidhi, thank you so much for reaching out to us. Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive. The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there. Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them. Everyone has nerves and the girls know that. They will be flattered that you even tried to reach out and talk. We will be sending you positive thoughts, and feel free to ask any other questions as they arise.
<3 The Love Matters Team
yer i am
yer i am
Hello new, thank you for…
Hello new, thank you for getting in touch and sharing your contribution. Is there any way we can assist you? Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!
I love her but to aprroach…
I love her but to aprroach its difficult for me
Hi Brayo, reaching out to…
Hi Brayo, reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive.
The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.
Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.
Everyone has nerves and the girls know that.
We will be sending you positive thoughts, and feel free to ask any other questions as they arise.
<3 The Love Matters Team
i need agal that i can m.
i need agal that i can m.
Is there someone who you may
Is there someone who you may be interested in?
hmm
hmm
Hmm- good or bad?
Hmm- good or bad?
wat if the gal i nid to date
wat if the gal i nid to date she’s far frm me. but i hve her contacts.
Sammy,
Sammy,
have a look here:
https://lovematters.co.ke/news/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts
wat if the gal i nid to date
wat if the gal i nid to date she’s far frm me. but i hve her contacts.
i have dated a gal but te
i have dated a gal but te problem is am afraid to have sex withher wat can i do plz
Salim,
Salim,
what is it you are afraid of?
i have lady but i dont trust
i have lady but i dont trust her….do she really loves me?
Elias,
Elias,
why do you have doubts about her intentions with you?
well am too shy and fearfull
well am too shy and fearfull to face a lady i want,how can i overcome this.
Baby steps, Abiti. You don’t
Baby steps, Abiti. You don’t have to tell her immediately you want to date her. Start asking her how she is. What’s going on in her life. Start with small conversations. Be open and show you are interested in what she says. And if that goes well, slowly take it further! Good luck!
I love her she too loves me
I love her she too loves me too -by action – but nobody approaches knows where to start fro
Jeff,
Jeff,
be brave and ask her out! You will feel so proud when she says yes!
their is this girl in our
their is this girl in our skull that she love me but she has never told me and I also loves her
Dan,
Dan,
that’s a great start. Start talking to her. Spend time with her, and see where that takes the two of you!
theres this girl i have a
theres this girl i have a crush on but she always assumes me bt her friends tells me she likes me..!! what can i do ?? please help
Wilson,
Wilson,
try to get closer to her. Spend some time with her. Chat. Maybe you can ask her if she wants to get tea with you once? Take it slowly, but steadily. Good luck!
asking your crush for
asking your crush for hungouts is the hardest thing ever no matter how social you are as a person
so your first advice there isn’t good enough but the last one is ok!
Buda,
Buda,
it is very hard, but you know what is even harder? Suffering because you are not doing anything.
Am shy
Am shy
Practice, Prince! It really
Practice, Prince! It really does help!
that’s what i do
that’s what i do
Good luck, Charles!
Good luck, Charles!
Got no prblem wth dating..
Got no prblem wth dating…jus broke up wth my gal en being as proud as i am.,i find it difficult to ask for forgivenes…hw cn u be of help?
Got no prblem wth dating..
Got no prblem wth dating…jus broke up wth my gal en being as proud as i am.,i find it difficult to ask for forgivenes…hw cn u be of help?
Got no prblem wth dating..
Got no prblem wth dating…jus broke up wth my gal en being as proud as i am.,i find it difficult to ask for forgivenes…hw cn u be of help?
Paul,
Paul,
who broke up with whom, why did you break up, and why is it important for you to forgive right now?
I’m looking fo sam1 older to
I’m looking fo sam1 older to date I’m 20 yrs is it possble
Marto,
Marto,
sure, age is just a number!
I would probably need a
I would probably need a kanyan lady to teach them pure love coz they are still green on loving
Can i get one please!
A Kenyan lady? Sorry, we can
A Kenyan lady? Sorry, we can’t help you with that!
i have a girl whom i love and
i have a girl whom i love and she loves me too.bt i dout she is cheating on me. she always cries whn i told her i dn’t need her any more.what can i do.
Bonny,
Bonny,
we are not sure we understand what the problem is?
THERE’S A GAL WHO SENT ME A
THERE’S A GAL WHO SENT ME A LETTER TELLING ME TO TAKE CARE OV MYSELF IN MY HOLIDAYZ BUT I HAVE NEVER TOLD THAT I LOVE HER AND AM SHY TO TELL HER, PLIZ TELL ME WHNT SHE MEANT AND HANT I SHUD DO
Richard,
Richard,
the best thing you can do is to ask her what she meant- she is the only one who can tell you!
i started dating this lady
i started dating this lady since 2012…proposed to her but turned it down. she doesn’t want anything intimate with me, said we keep it the ‘just friendship level’ but she has been close to my friends. do i leave her or not?
John,
John,
if she is not interested, and this has been going on for several years, then you might be better off leaving her.
There’s this girl i love,but
There’s this girl i love,but am too shy to face her,what should i do?
Hi Eddie, check out this
Hi Eddie, check out this article to find out https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/how-approach-and-talk-new-people .
i hv bin wiz my crush 4 2yr
i hv bin wiz my crush 4 2yr bt she takes me 2 be her bestfriend en she z also free wiz me.bt nw i dont knw hw 2 tel her that i hv feeling 4 her
Hi Alvis, having feelings for
Hi Alvis, having feelings for your best friend is more common than you might think. Here is an article that can help you with expressing your emotions https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/expressing-emotion .
I hope this is the best…
I hope this is the best place i can get alovely lady whom i can date.
Hi Edwin, unfortunately we…
Hi Edwin, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone.
I feel ready for marriage,…
I feel ready for marriage, but the lady we have made an agreement with is not taking things serious,how can I make her understand my concern to her
Hey Gordon, you can do this…
Hey Gordon, you can do this by talking about how you feel she is taking things. You need to be honest about what you have seen and what it means to you. The marriage decision is mutual, you need to find out if she feels ready to make this move. It is important to recognize that she may not feel ready like you and if this is the case you will need to respect this choice. Find a good time and talk about this, find out why she does not feel ready if this is the case, you can then together work toward this. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/the-big-decision-how-do-i-know
There is a girl I go to same…
There is a girl I go to same college with. I like her a lot but I don’t know how to tell her. We say hi sometimes I think she is out of my league. Should I risk it all and tell her I like her?
Hey Pete, yes you should…
Hey Pete, yes you should risk it all and tell her how you feel especially because you already relate. You will never know if she is interested unless you ask. Be brave, find a good time and tell her how you feel. If you are not confident enough to do this face to face, you can consider calling or texting. Remember, she may be feeling the same as you or not, and you will need to accept and respect her choice whichever it maybe. We wish you well. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/dont-sweat-over-asking-someone-out
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/asking-someone-out-dos-and-donts
The first time you meet…
The first time you meet someone new to you are likely to be shy but as you continue to relate you become more confident and relaxed around each other.
This is true, thank you for…
This is true, thank you for sharing.
Exactly how I feel sometimes…
Exactly how I feel sometimes…
Hey, we hope this article…
Hey, we hope this article was useful to you.
I NEED A GAGA TO WOO OOOH….
I NEED A GAGA TO WOO OOOH….
Hey Yanaan, what can we do…
Hey Yanaan, what can we do for you?
I proposed to a lady in my…
I proposed to a lady in my hood but she kept promising.but still she fulfil not am confused I really love her pls help me out
Hey Whiz, do you mean you…
Hey Whiz, do you mean you asked her to marry you or you approached her for a relationship? If you are uncertain about what her response was, you need to ask her so that she can clarify. You need to be open to the fact that she maybe interested in a relationship with you or she may not be. If she is unwilling you will have to respect that choice. We wish you all the best.
I need a sex mate or Sugar…
I need a sex mate or Sugar mummy
Hi Wisdom, unfortunately we…
Hi Wisdom, unfortunately we are not a dating service and fir this reason we are not able to to help you meet someone.
What am I supposed to be…
What am I supposed to be texting or asking a girl I’ve asked out but has told me to give her time to think?
Hey Luiz, there is nothing…
Hey Luiz, there is nothing wrong with her asking for sometime to think about such a decision. But you may want to find out how much time she needs to think so that you know what to reach out her for answer and so that the wait is alittle easier. Try and find out. Lastly, she may say either yes or no and it is important that you prepare for both outcomes.
What if the girl doesn’t…
What if the girl doesn’t like me
Hi Timmy, unfortunately if a…
Hi Timmy, unfortunately if a girl doesn’t like you, you will have to respect their choice and move. This however doesn’t mean that the next girl won’t like, you just have to keep trying. Eventually, you will meet someone who will be interested. Have a look at the following article on dating;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
just to know
just to know
Hi Ayomide, what would you…
Hi Ayomide, what would you like to know?
HAVE BEEN CRUSHING ON SOME…
HAVE BEEN CRUSHING ON SOME ONE FOR THE PAST FEW MOUNT AND I WANT TO ASK HER OUT HOW I DO OR SAY
Hey Swizzan-Cyril, if you…
Hey Swizzan-Cyril, if you are in love or your like someone, the next thing to do is to tell how you feel. This can be intimidating but you have to be brave and tell them how you feel. This is the only way you will get to know how they feel toward you. If they are interested you can start a relationship, if they are not, you can then move on to meet someone else. All the best. Check out this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
what will i do i always be…
what will i do i always be too shy. to talk to a girl or woman?
Hey King, if taking face to…
Hey King, if taking face to face is challenging for you, you can reach out through a call or text. Remember however, that girls find confidence attractive so be brave and approach the girl you like. This is the only way you will get to know how they feel toward you. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
I had a lady she broke my…
I had a lady she broke my heart and i have never loved since then (some years ago) i dont love ladies anymore what can i do
Hello Blessed, thank you for…
Hello Blessed, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. Sometimes getting over a heartbreak is really hard and it takes more time than expected. This article has great pointers to help you get through this period.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/heartbreak-it-does-get-better
I love a girl but she doesn…
I love a girl but she doesn’t love me what can i do??
Hello Sam, thank you for…
Hello Sam, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Sometimes we love people and they do not love us back. That is perfectly okay it may hurt but we cannot force people to love us. Also, if we could, would we want love that is given unwillingly? All we can do is love people and hope they will love us back.
Hello Sam, thank you for…
Hello Sam, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Sometimes we love people and they do not love us back. That is perfectly okay it may hurt but we cannot force people to love us. Also, if we could, would we want love that is given unwillingly? All we can do is love people and hope they will love us back.
himm i need a girl in my…
himm i need a girl in my life.responsible girl.but i dont know how to wool
Reaching out to people that…
Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive.
The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.
Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.
Everyone has nerves and the girls know that. They will be flattered that you even tried to reach out and talk.
We will be sending you positive thoughts, and feel free to ask any other questions as they arise.
<3 The Love Matters Team
Greatest tips
Greatest tips
You are welcome, MaBreakka.
You are welcome, MaBreakka.
i am looking for one
i am looking for one
Hi Williams, thank you for…
Hi Williams, thank you for reaching out to us. Love Matters is not a dating site and so we cannot help you in this regard.
i need a beautiful and…
i need a beautiful and faithful girl
Hello Williams, thank you…
Hello Williams, thank you for reaching out to us. Love Matters Africa is not a dating site and so we cannot help you in this regard.
Am in love with agirl but…
Am in love with agirl but idont know how to approach her .siply am shy can u help me out
Hi Kelvin, thank you for…
Hi Kelvin, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships
Be lovely
Be lovely
I have a lady whom i love…
I have a lady whom i love most but she started changing on how can i turn her back
Hello Sedat, thank you for…
Hello Sedat, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships
Thanks, need someone who’s…
Thanks, need someone who’s serious
Always pleased to help…
Always pleased to help Shaddy! Please feel free to go through more of our content and let us know what you think and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!
Am always shy when it comes…
Am always shy when it comes to talking to a girl or flirting with her… I’ll most probably gather some courage n tryna hit the jackpot
We love your attitude Alveen…
We love your attitude Alveen! Keep it up and let us know how it goes! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!
Dating
Dating
Hi Robinson, thank you for…
Hi Robinson, thank you for getting in touch. What about dating would you like to know about?
I agree with the tips and…
I agree with the tips and can make me go far
Hello Kinstepper, thank you…
Hello Kinstepper, thank you so much for your feedback we appreciate it.
How can i romance a girl for…
How can i romance a girl for the first time date
Hi Samuel, thank you for…
Hi Samuel, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. We all sometimes struggle to talk to new people – no matter how confident and talkative we may seem. And this struggle can turn into panic if we happen to find this new person attractive! Here are our top tips for talking to new people. Click here to find out more:
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone
Let us know if the information helps and have a wonderful weekend ahead.
I also shy to approach girls…
I also shy to approach girls plz I need help who can help me plz
Hi Steven,
You are not…
Hi Steven,
You are not alone! Some men are quite shy and find it hard to approach girls and women. Did you find the tips in this article helpful? As a bonus, read this article to get tips on how to flirt: Tips on how to flirt
There is a lead I think she…
There is a lead I think she is my type altho she is of high status than me I was thinking on how to approach her she I working and am a third year student
Hi Josiah,
Talking to new…
Hi Josiah,
Talking to new people especially those who you feel are out of your league, in terms of looks or status, can be hard. Luckily, Love Matters has tips that can help you approach the girl with confidence. Read this article to learn more: 9 Helpful Tips for Talking To Someone You Like
I like this
I like this
Great Sylvester,
Glad you…
Great Sylvester,
Glad you liked it! Keep it here for more informative content.
I want a boy
I want a boy
Hi Nasieku,
Love Matters is…
Hi Nasieku,
Love Matters is not a dating or hook-up site. Luckily, we can give you tips on how to get with a boy you like: 9 helpful tips for talking to someone you like. Read this article. Also, read about how to know he’s the right one for you: 8 signs you’re with the right partner. Good luck with your search!