I can’t seem to get a girl in my life. I can’t stand in front of a girl, let alone greet her, or utter a word. Please advise me on how to go about it?
Aaaawww honey, you’re just shy. That’s all it is: you are shy around women. Believe it or not, I am shy. I dread meeting strangers and I hate speaking in front of people. My hands sweat, and my right leg starts shaking. I would love to tell you that after a ten-year media career as a radio and TV presenter, journalist, and occasional speechmaker, I have found a magic cure. But I haven’t. What keeps me talking – while shaking and sweating – is the belief that what I have to say has value.
You are worth it
You are valuable and you are worth getting to know. Your life will also be enriched by getting to know other people. So I suggest that you focus more on that, and less on your discomfort.
Meg Cabot wrote, ‘Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear; the brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.’
When you speak to a woman despite your anxiety, and she responds, you see that the world did not end and slowly you will gain confidence, especially when the women respond positively.
Also, forget the agenda of ‘getting a girl in your life’; aim to just say ‘hello’ and smile.
Build it up
Start with women you are not trying to date, like the kiosk lady or a friend of the family and go from there. If you can join a church group or something similar, you will find that the setting makes it easier to talk to the opposite sex rather than walking up to a total stranger and starting a random conversation. Think of confidence as a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger it will grow. As you get used to talking to women, then you can start talking to girls you might like.
Have you overcome shyness? How did you do it? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya.