What you need to know before moving in
So now things are going steady. You finally think that maybe this is the time to take things to the next level.
Besides, you love this person so it shouldn’t be that hard to move in together, right?
By now you’ve probably realized that there is so much more than just living together. You have all these things you need to buy and discuss, just to make room for your partner.
But before you move in together, what are the things you should consider? Because a decision like this could always end up in heartbreak, and worse, a financial disaster.
Discuss the reasons for moving in together
Why are you doing this? What is your motivation?
You see, just because something makes sense from a money perspective doesn’t mean it is the right decision.
Are you both ready to make this move or was there an ultimatum involved in the decision? Wherever you land in your decision to move forward, you can feel much more comfortable knowing you are all in if you think of the ‘why’ for doing it beforehand.
Understand each other’s expectations
In fact, assuming your significant other has the same expectations as you can lead to some major issues. Sit down and talk about it. Don’t minimize your feelings, however, make it comfortable for your partner to feel that this is a casual conversation that they can participate in while expressing your hopes and goals for the relationship.
You recognize there will be challenges
In fact, a sign that you’re not ready to move in together is when you don’t recognize that it will take a fair amount of work on both of your parts. Challenges are going to come up, regardless of how much you prepare. How you work past them is what will ensure the health and survival of your relationship.
It’s a mutual decision
Guess what? Living with a messy person won’t make a tidy person messier, and living with a tidy person won’t make a messy person tidier. You’ll eventually get tired of the pretense and get on each other’s throats.
Make sure this is something both of you understand the risks and benefits involved, and it is something both of you want.
Lay it all down on the table
I have come to understand that life is not a straight line. The cliché may be a cliché but it’s more often not true. Talk about each other’s financial commitments, who does what, who buys what.
If you are going to be a team, you need to be on the same page lest surprises hit you down the road. A good checklist that you two can move in together is if you can talk about finances without one feeling insecure.
The bottom line:
When you move in together, be up-front about what will happen if things don’t work out. We always hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Honesty is the oil in which good relationships run smoothly. It’s not romantic, but it’s important.
You’re welcome, Hellen!
You’re welcome, Hellen!