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Does more sex lead to better relationship?

Does more sex make for a better relationship? Researchers asked newlyweds to go with their gut feelings when it came to the impact of regular sex on their lives together.

It makes sense that couples who have regular sex feel good together. The theory of evolution can help explain why, say researchers.
People have evolved to enjoy getting it on often because the more intercourse they have, the greater their chance of having kids and passing on their genes to the next generation. One of the things that make regular sex enjoyable is the intimacy, which has a positive effect on how happy you feel together.

So surely… if you have lots of sex with your partner, it probably means you’re in a pretty happy relationship, doesn’t it?
Well, not necessarily. When in the past researchers have asked lovebirds if more sex makes for a better relationship, the results have not always been clear. Though basically, it always looks like having lots of sex doesn’t necessarily make you a happy couple.

But how do you find out if a couple is happy? After all, if someone asks you straight out if you have a happy marriage, and you think about it for a moment before you reply, how reliable is your answer? Is it the same as the instinctive gut reaction about the way you feel with your partner?  Past research just asked people directly about their feelings, and that might help explain why the findings have been confusing, the researchers of a recent US study reasoned.

Instincts revealed

So the researchers thought up a way to measure people’s instinctive responses to their partners. True feelings, straight from the gut, exposed.

In two studies, a newlywed couple told the researchers how often they had sex. Next, they filled in questionnaires which asked directly how satisfied they were in their relationships.

And then came the part of the experiment which unveiled the subconscious secrets about the participants’ feelings for their partners.

They were shown pictures of their significant other quickly on a screen. Then the picture was followed by a word, and the participants had to press a button to say whether it was positive or negative.

How fast they responded to these words would give the researchers an idea of their gut reaction about their partners. If they hit the button faster for positive words than for negative words, it would suggest they felt more positive about their spouse.

And the result? Well, when the researchers looked to see if there was a link between having more sex and simply saying you’re satisfied with your partner when you’re asked a straight question about it, they didn’t find one. It was just like all the old research.

Newlyweds who had sex more often didn’t actually say they were happier in their relationships.

But when it came to that gut-level reaction, the answer was yes, more sex matters. How often the newlyweds had sex was related to their instinctive feeling towards their sweethearts. Those who got it on more often were more likely to respond positively to images of their loved ones.

Sex culture

At this point, you might be wondering why someone would have a problem admitting that sex is linked to how well their relationship is going.

What people say about the impact of intercourse is naturally a reflection of their beliefs – and what they want to believe – about sex and relationships.

So someone who’s not having regular sex with their partner might say that things are going well in their relationship even if they’re not, the researchers point out. They also give the example of a person whose cultural background makes them think that regular sex isn’t necessarily important in a relationship.

What this research doesn’t tell us is whether having lots of sex actually improves your relationship, or whether people in good relationships just feel more like having sex. But hey, if in doubt… it can never do any harm!
 

Source: Capturing the Interpersonal Implications of Evolved Preferences? Frequency of Sex Shapes Automatic, but Not Explicit, Partner Evaluations.(2016). Psychological Science.

Need to talk about sex in your relationship? Talk to us on our discussion board, Facebook, or leave a comment below. 

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (46)

    1. Good you agree with us.
      Good you agree with us.

  1. send mi more
    send mi more

    1. Keep checking our website and
      Keep checking our website and Facebook pages regularly 🙂

  2. Regular sex does,t make happy
    Regular sex does,t make happy relationship, I disagree

    1. Thanks Olive for sharing your
      Thanks Olive for sharing your thoughts.

  3. I like your advice, I,m going
    I like your advice, I,m going try it thanks

    1. Great! tell us how it goes.
      Great! tell us how it goes.

  4. my bf loves us making sex
    my bf loves us making sex every now en then but i get bored

    1. Hi Sonie, talk about it with
      Hi Sonie, talk about it with him. Try new things to keep it interesting. You can also always say no when you don’t feel like having sex.

    1. Abby, what are you reasons
      Abby, what are you reasons for disagreeing? Kindly share with us.

  5. I don’t think if regular sex
    I don’t think if regular sex makes happy relationship

    1. Thanks for your input.
      Thanks for your input.

  6. its good for acknowledge.
    its good for acknowledge.

    1. We are glad you learnt!
      We are glad you learnt!

  7. Relationships whether happy
    Relationships whether happy or not happy depends on many aspects. So at one point I agree an at other points I disagree.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Lawrence.

  8. I disagree because if u have
    I disagree because if u have more sex with your partner u will going to hate it

    1. Thanks for your thoughts and
      Thanks for your thoughts and input.

    1. What do you feel is right?
      What do you feel is right? please share with us.

  9. I like sex than anything…
    I like sex than anything else in this world

  10. How long Doe’s that Doe’s…
    How long Doe’s that Doe’s take to finish?is it lifetime dose or it is continuous

    1. Hi, What dose are you…
      Hi, What dose are you referring to?

  11. For sure but how it is done…
    For sure but how it is done,it sh’d be out of trust & intimacy

    1. Hey Elias, indeed all…

      Hey Elias, indeed all relationships should be build on trust which leads to even better intimacy. 

    1. Hi Jannie, 

      Glad you loved…

      Hi Jannie, 

      Glad you loved it! Keep visiting Love Matters for more educative content!

    1. Great! Thank you for your contribution, Naomie!

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