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Is sex without a condom too messy?

In a monogamous long-term relationship, a couple can choose to ditch the condom for another form of contraception. But then you’re stuck with a mess…

So it’s finally here: you’re in a relationship. And boy, does it feel rosy! You’ve been putting up Instagram pics with tags such as ‘#couplegoals’ and ‘#love’ – and in the process sickening everyone with your happiness. You’ve met his friends and possibly even his parents. This time round, it all looks like it’s going somewhere real.

So the two of you figure it’s time to take off the protection. After all, he’s already got your heart. It’s time to get tested and do the deed. Because let’s be honest: sex without a condom can be very, very good.

But it’s also pretty scary. You have to change your contraception. And then you have to breathe a giant sigh of relief every time your period arrives – just in case you were in that 3 per cent who still conceive while on the birth control pill. Admit it: you panic a little, every time.

But besides such major issues, what’s the most annoying part of sex without a condom?

Having to clean up after.

Ugh.

The horror

Is there anything that kills the mood more than having to get up and wipe stuff off yourself when all you want to do lay back and bask in the afterglow of a great orgasm? Talk about a party pooper!

And what about showering after? And – the horror! – thinking about the possibility of having to do laundry tomorrow on top of all of that? In other words: getting in between the sheets stops being so hot when you start thinking about getting stuff ON the sheets.

At the end of the day, maybe skin-on-skin is too much trouble. I mean, unless it’s shower sex (which, if we are being honest again, is pretty uncomfortable and can feel like you are practising drowning), maybe there’s a lot to be said for using a condom.

Is it really worth it?

The obvious plus to the barrier method is that everything is already taken care of – it’s like your personal inanimate housekeeper. All you need to do is throw the condom away (but not out the window, of course). And the cuddling isn’t interrupted by clean up.

Secondly: no laundry! Because whoever wants more dirty linen?

And third: some people feel better using the barrier method because they feel like they have physically stopped any baby making from happening. Only by seeing it do you truly believe it, so to speak.

And besides, if you use enough lube it almost feels like the same thing.

Almost. Right?
 

What do you think? Messy or not messy? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on our Facebook pages: Love Matters Africa.

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Recent Comments (153)

  1. Looks messy though I don’t
    Looks messy though I don’t know much about sex ..its too early for me at 21 engaging to sex

    1. Hey Linda,

      Hey Linda,
      that’s fine. Whenever you are ready.

      1. I am ready that’s first time…
        I am ready that’s first time am in Indian

    2. billy

      billy
      i thnk is nt too early me neva experience it so cnt say much bt its good to learn

        1. What are you interested in…
          What are you interested in Willy?

    1. Who cleans up the mess?
      Who cleans up the mess?

  2. I will go with not messy. who
    I will go with not messy. who wants to clean up? wash the sheets there after? a lot of job has to be done…… gents use condoms!

    1. That’s a practical way of
      That’s a practical way of looking at it!

    2. while u enjoy the sweetness .
      while u enjoy the sweetness … What will the gents enjoy… Better have a messy situation after a great f#ck of full satsifaction of the victims

  3. if u are hiv positive does it
    if u are hiv positive does it dat u cant have a baby?if someone is positive and then he plays sex with his or her partner without a condom,can he or she be affected?

    1. Electine,

      Electine,
      someone who is positive can still have (or father) a child, if certain precautions are taken. For example, to keep the risk for the partner and the baby low, the viral load needs to be low.
      And yes, unprotected sex can be a risk, especially if the uninfected person has another STD or wounds, or if the viral load of the infected partner is high.

  4. not messy.for my own safety
    not messy.for my own safety and my patners

    1. True messy or not messy?
      True messy or not messy?

    1. So you rather use condoms?
      So you rather use condoms?

  5. not messy, though not all the
    not messy, though not all the times. What is sex without a cuddle after anyways??

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Stellar.

  6. messy when complete trust is
    messy when complete trust is around…

    1. Thanks for your input
      Thanks for your input

    1. Do you think they should get
      Do you think they should get tested first?

  7. Condomx should not b used.
    Condomx should not b used.

  8. though u use condoms or not u
    though u use condoms or not u have to do the laundry,so both messy.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    1. And who cleans up :-)?
      And who cleans up :-)?

  9. actually a mess shows work
    actually a mess shows work has been done and the victims of circumstance have been satisfied with equall ratio. Id rather preffer a mess with enjoyment than a not messy exercise without taste

    1. That’s a great way of putting
      That’s a great way of putting it 🙂

    1. As long as it was fun getting
      As long as it was fun getting there, isn’t it?

  10. Like seriously guys I don’t
    Like seriously guys I don’t really know what to say about this*

    1. That it’s too messy?
      That it’s too messy?

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  11. What’s the purpose of sex if
    What’s the purpose of sex if your partner won’t receive your proteins?! MESSY IS THE REAL DEAL OHH! NO REASON THERE AT ALL

    1. Lol, that’s an interesting
      Lol, that’s an interesting way of putting it!

    1. What’s that, Wendy?
      What’s that, Wendy?

  12. Not messy..condom delays
    Not messy..condom delays orgasm.

    1. Use thin condoms, or latex
      Use thin condoms, or latex-free ones, with a drop of water-based lubricants, and you won’t even notice it’s there.

  13. mine goes deep inside…. no
    mine goes deep inside…. no afterflows…. i thought that iz a problem associated to men with short dicks or what???

    1. Nope; it will always come out
      Nope; it will always come out eventually.

  14. Messy yeah bt gud sex is gud
    Messy yeah bt gud sex is gud so take up da mess

  15. Better messy, it’s sweeter.
    Better messy, it’s sweeter.

  16. bt n all it depends on u h
    bt n all it depends on u h decided athwise thx 4 those gd points

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Tim.

  17. Sex is sweet without rubber.
    Sex is sweet without rubber. I detest rubber.

  18. Sex is sweet without rubber.
    Sex is sweet without rubber. I detest rubber.

    1. Cheruu,

      Cheruu,
      thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep in mind that condoms make sex safer though.

  19. better mess up with my dude
    better mess up with my dude after superb satisfaction lol

  20. Even though, U make use of
    Even though, U make use of the condoms, the sheets will still get messed.
    Is better to be satisfied and get mess ( that’s always the case) than having a boring session.
    So I think the idea of skin-on-skin is not messy.

    1. And what about contraception,
      And what about contraception, what do you use?

  21. Cleanliness is nxt to God
    Cleanliness is nxt to God holiness

    1. Thank you for your comment.
      Thank you for your comment.

  22. There is this great
    There is this great satisfaction when you know you juice is shot inside en i believe there are some ladies who orgasm through you jeting inside

    1. Joseph,

      Joseph,
      it’s very unlikely ejaculation makes women orgasm. What makes them orgasm is the stimulation of the clitoris.

  23. There is this great
    There is this great satisfaction when you know you juice is shot inside en i believe there are some ladies who orgasm through you jeting inside

  24. I would go for messy
    I would go for messy.sastifactions first for me and my partner.

    1. The messier, the more
      The messier, the more satisfaction?

  25. i will go with the messy
    i will go with the messy situation it feels so great to clean up knowing it was worth the f#ck

    1. I wonder kwani ladies do not
      I wonder kwani ladies do not cum in the process leaving sheets still dirty? but for sure life of sex with a condom is better,no regretes,n its safer.

  26. wat if u have sex without
    wat if u have sex without condom n u find ua self with hiv. wat kan i do?

    1. Kiko,

      Kiko,
      the best thing is to find yourself a doctor or medical clinic that can help you. Get regular check-ups, join a support groups, and make the best effort to live healthily. Good luck!

  27. with the mess we can find
    with the mess we can find sweetness

  28. not messy even the condoms
    not messy even the condoms some disgusting liquids so u must do laundry after sex,,,

    1. Gladys,

      Gladys,
      try different kinds of condoms- you might find the lubricant of one more pleasant than the other

  29. soo messy… id rather use a
    soo messy… id rather use a condom

    1. And that’s safe, too!
      And that’s safe, too!

  30. ido love the messy thing coz
    ido love the messy thing coz we will enjoy doing the loundry together the same way we enjoyed having sex witout condom #Truelove

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  31. it’s not messy at all, i love
    it’s not messy at all, i love sex ..but with condoms it’s yaaak…

    1. Why is that, Kipruto?
      Why is that, Kipruto?

  32. #Adm. am not happy the way u
    #Adm. am not happy the way u put it that ‘its is safe with rubbers’ nop! this is ma sweetie wify then u tell me we use condoms to avoid messing up with sheets- wot r sheets b4 bursting wit cummings n sweet feeling wen u all reach climax n holding tighty together kissing n lk licking each other due the pleasure u av for each other?! dont u imagn that?! by the way there r very good wives here- ladies commenting very positively, i lk that- others r jst damn awful- how can u afford to think ur mans sperm is dirty?! i swear i hate a woman of that caliper- me i wipe juice fro ma partner n lick them- how sweet – to enjoy sex fully leave urself to ur partner!!!

    1. Martin,

      Martin,
      this is a blog- which means it’s someone’s opinion. If you don’t want to use condoms, that’s up to you and your wife.
      As for the comments, again, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Some people may think semen is dirty. Others think menstrual blood is dirty. Whatever you think, you can voice, as long as it’s not abusive.

  33. I agree wit u admin who ti
    I agree wit u admin who ti hell will wash that mess n by ti way wen rubber is used one feels safe afterwards no fears

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  34. so you want to say ladies don
    so you want to say ladies don’t reach climax and do orgasm? & if they do where do theirs go?

    1. Of course women have orgasms.
      Of course women have orgasms. And some of them ejaculate.

  35. there is still a mess with or
    there is still a mess with or without a condom due to the fact us women leak on them sheets

    1. That’s often true- you can’t
      That’s often true- you can’t avoid a wet spot.

  36. Safer sex is only found in
    Safer sex is only found in marriage. Just my opinion.

    1. Sex can only be as safe as
      Sex can only be as safe as you make it, whether in marriage or not.

  37. My boyfriend and I don’t use
    My boyfriend and I don’t use condoms…for more than a year now.. I’m on the pill,and it’s working out great for me..:)
    Oh…and every two months we go for full check-ups..Together:)
    Unprotected sex could be messy…but messy is hot too;-)

    1. Thank you Sasha for sharing
      Thank you Sasha for sharing your experience with us.

  38. Sex in marriage is safer
    Sex in marriage is safer but messy as well

    1. Thanks for your input Rozzie.
      Thanks for your input Rozzie.

  39. have been having sex with my
    have been having sex with my dude and use contraceptives and its now two months have not seen my periods, not cool,though sex without condom its swit

    1. If you are using a hormonal
      If you are using a hormonal contraceptive it might change your bleeding pattern.Thanks for you input.

  40. To hell with condomz,they
    To hell with condomz,they make the play boring

    1. Thanks for your input Isaac.
      Thanks for your input Isaac.

  41. hw can some diffrenciate
    hw can some diffrenciate original pills with fake ones since the fake ones are allover

    1. Puff ,you should always buy
      Puff ,you should always buy your medication from a certified medical facility or pharmacy to avoid getting counterfeit.

  42. I LOVE IT WITHOUT RUBBER.
    I LOVE IT WITHOUT RUBBER.

    1. Ezra ,why do you say this?
      Ezra ,why do you say this?

  43. I requiest any matured women…
    I requiest any matured women. for serious relationship.

    1. Unfortunately Seiff, we are…
      Unfortunately Seiff, we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to get you a partner. We wish you well though.

  44. I am over 50 and before…
    I am over 50 and before making love with my wife we always use a condom to stop the mess after, it is so much better for both of use and feels so much better

    1. Hey Pete, Thank you for…
      Hey Pete, Thank you for sharing with us your personal experience. We do appreciate.

    1. Hey Tim, The mess that may…
      Hey Tim, The mess that may come after maybe more stressful than the time you spend wearing or removing a condom.

  45. not messy….all that work…
    not messy….all that work thereafter not

    1. Hi Jay, you feel there would…
      Hi Jay, you feel there would alot of work after using a condom? Not using maybe more work, including having to deal with a Sexually Transmitted Infection or an unplanned pregnancy.

  46. Are condoms 100% effective?
    Are condoms 100% effective?

  47. My partner always refuses to…
    My partner always refuses to use a condom and I have also refused to have sex with him. We have not tested for HIV, how can I make him accept condoms?

    1. Hi Jolly, have you talked to…

      Hi Jolly, have you talked to your partner about getting a HIV test together? Have you talked to your partner about why he refuses to use condoms? It is important that you talk to your partner on the need for getting tested. Also he also needs to know the dual benefit of using condoms – prevention of Sexually Transmitted Infections and prevention of unplanned pregnancy. Find a good time to talk about these issues so that you and your partner can agree on how to proceed. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/talking-about-condoms-dos-and-donts

  48. I dont think its messy,,,cz…
    I dont think its messy,,,cz thea is alternative way of nt using it,,heard smewhere.

    1. Hi Rud, 

      Thank you for your…

      Hi Rud, 

      Thank you for your input. What alternative way did you hear about? Kindly share with us as well. 

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