Just like the myths surrounding homosexuality, most people believe that asexuality is a choice. Asexuality is not a choice. It simply means that an asexual person doesn’t feel sexual attraction towards anyone. It can neither be chosen, nor be changed. If you are asexual, it means you are asexual. There is nothing confusing or complicated about being one.
Asexuality is only the lack of sexual attraction. That doesn’t mean asexual people don’t fall in love. Two asexual people can definitely fall in love or crave for emotional intimacy. In fact there exists a good number of asexual couples who live completely regular lives, just like heterosexual or homosexual couples. They just don’t prefer to have sex and may treat their relationship as ‘love without sex’.
To be celibate means to not engage in sexual activity by choice. A person may choose to live a celibate life where he or she voluntarily decides not to have sex. It can be because of many reasons. Some may do it because of certain religious demands. People may have different ideological grounds to abstain from sex. However, sex is not optional for asexual people. They do not decide against or refrain themselves from having sex. They just don’t feel like engaging in sexual activity.
Many of us would like to think asexuality is a phase people go through and it will perhaps get over. A lot of us may think that asexual people choose not to have sex for some time or may not be interested in sex initially. Some people may also suggest having sex fixes asexuality. Or a pill can do wonders. But that isn’t true. Asexuality is neither a phase, nor can it be fixed by any means. It is almost always innate and inherent like any other orientation and it doesn’t get over.
One of the most common myths around asexual people is that they are perhaps closeted gays or lesbians. They are either afraid to come out, are confused or may hate their orientation. Well, all of it is untrue. Asexual people are as real as gays, lesbians or straight people. Asexuality does exist.
Asexuals are thought to dislike or hate sex, which is again untrue. Most times, people associate sexual trauma in the past as a reason to asexuality. Asexuals like any other people have their own identity. This identity need not be shaped by being victims of sexual abuse in the past. Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse. But the fact that asexuals have to be victims of sexual abuse is a complete misconception.
Asexuals, like other people have fully functional genitalia. They are capable of achieving orgasm and are capable of being intimate in bed. Everything is in order for them and they can have sex very well. In fact, some of them do try. Remember that being asexual is only the lack of sexual attraction and it has got nothing to do with their sexual ability.