Kenyan man VS polygamy
Hans Kylberg under CC licence

The Kenyan man vs. polygamy

By Andrew Onyango February 11, 04:20 pm
Polygamy is an ancient tradition recognised by the Kenyan constitution as a form of marriage. But how relevant is polygamy in this day and age? What’s it really worth?

In the days before the white man’s interference, an African man could marry as many wives as he could handle. The purpose of this was to have many children because children were considered to be a symbol of wealth. Having multiple wives also meant the chances of sexual boredom were greatly reduced. But then the white man came and taught us that you can have as many sexually satisfying adventures with the same woman as you can have with multiple women. Then things became confusing.

Like lions in the savannah…

Simply put, on a primal level, you are a man. You have a penis and you are going to want to insert this penis into as many women as society will allow you to. Like lions in the savannah, you being a man, want to create as many genetic copies of yourself as possible. It’s an evolutionary and biblically endorsed trait.

Men are born with the desire to impregnate women so that the species does not die out. But in the age of functional contraception, the purpose of sex has been altered.

The math behind 'meet' + 'meat'

A man today knows that the number of women his penis has been inside, without commitment, is a leap forward in his peer circle. The more women bedded, the higher the respect. Extra respect is accorded to men who can get from 'meet' to 'meat' in shorter time spans than their peers. Once sex is attached to status then it becomes a means to an end. Every man covets power and status is a symbol of it.

So if status equals power and sex equals status, then men will always pride themselves on a 'number'. It’s really just simple mathematics.

Men have issues with sharing

However, the trouble with being a man means that we do not share women. So, even though we bed multiple women simultaneously, we do not want these same women to allow any other men into their 'garden'. It’s a territorial instinct as ingrained as the desire to impregnate.

In addition, another man sticking his spear in your claimed garden is bad for the status. It means you’re not as special as you thought you were. Anyone can do it! To quote Sweet Brown: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

An unnecessary expense

Polygamy allows men to put a figurative chastity belt around vaginas they consider to be theirs. They legally agree to financially cater for the vessel carrying said vagina and any offspring that may come from it as long as the vagina is not visited by any foreign penises.

The Kenyan constitution recognises polygamy as a form of marriage. So bigamy does not legally scare any man in Kenya. But in these harsh economic times, polygamy is an unnecessary expense. Remember: a mistress is not legally entitled to ask you for anything you have. But a wife is.


Is polygamy worth it? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.

Did you learn something new?

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