Couple holding hands, wedding band on his hand prominent
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Newlywed

The first few days of marriage can feel like living in a dream! Even if you have been with your spouse for years, it may seem like a fresh chapter in your life.

A lot of couples choose to go on a honeymoon after their wedding. It’s a well-deserved vacation after all the stress, hustle and bustle of the wedding. You’ll finally get some time away from your family and friends and can just be together with each other. If you haven’t had sex before the wedding, then the honeymoon is a perfect time to get to know each other’s bodies as well.

But being married also brings a lot of changes to your life. Firstly, it can change your sense of who you are. You might start feeling like you have a shared identity with your partner – like people see you less as an individual and more as one half of a whole. This could make you unsure and uncomfortable. In a lot of spheres, you might also feel like you’re missing out on your independence and need to accommodate another person in your life forever.

This sudden wave of change might be challenging for a lot of newlyweds. This is true whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged marriage. Here’s a guide to help you with newlywed challenges.

  • Share what you expect from your marriage. ‘And they lived happily ever after...’ is a phrase we’ve all heard. But as well as happiness, marriages also bring a lot of challenges. To avoid clashes, sit down with your spouse and talk about your expectations of each other.
  • If something annoys you, bring it out into the open. If you haven’t lived together before, be prepared for a bunch of surprises. Your spouse might have some habits you’re not keen on, and there might be some compatibility issues. You can overcome them by talking about what bothers you.
  • Manage your house. It might sound strange, but don’t assume what each other’s roles are in your relationship. Draw out clearly what you expect from each other in the home department. You’re not just lovers, you’re also housemates.
  • Consider your partner’s family’s needs if you’re expected to move into your spouse’s house with your in-laws. This can bring a new set of challenges. Not only do you have to adjust to living with your husband, but you also have to maintain a balance between making yourself comfortable and fitting in with other people. 
  • Manage your finances well. Money is a major cause of marriage break-ups. So make clear decisions about money. Are you going to get a joint account? Or will you stay independent throughout? Will one of you depend on the other financially? Figure out what you’re signing up for.
  • Keep the fights fair. It’s natural that you’ll have arguments and fights – what’s important is how you go about it, and how you make up afterwards. For tips see our Fighting: do’s and don’ts.
  • Spice up your love and sex lives with surprises. Being married doesn’t mean the end of romance. Don’t let monotony set in. Make sure you’re not just living your marriage but enjoying it.
  • Get to know each other closely. Marriage is a wonderful opportunity to know your partner at a very intimate level. Share your dreams with each other. In the process of being married, you might also notice something new in yourself. 
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