Cartoon image of a dad with three children

The real reason men are raising other men’s children

Why do women plant cuckoos in their husband’s nests?

Nigerian women – the most unfaithful in the world

It’s getting more and more common that men find out – whether by chance or by intentionally ordering a DNA test – that their children are not theirs. In fact, three out of 10 Nigerian men are not the father of some, or all, of their children. That’s a startling statistic, made even more interesting by the 2012 Durex survey that highlighted Nigerian women as the most unfaithful in the world.

Apparently, 62 per cent of Nigerian women admitted to having cheated on their spouses.

I mean, we were all shook at that one, but let’s focus on the children that are born out of that cheating.

Desperate for children

There is no justification for infidelity and lying in relationships. However, there is a desperation when children are not coming forth that forces the hand of women to desperate measures.

We know that in the society we live in, children are very important. Even the names we give out children show that we value them. We call them ‘Nwakaego’ – a child is greater than money, ‘Omojuwa’ – a child is greater than everything. 

Marriages are primarily built for procreation and for carrying on the family name. So when there are no children, women are made to feel like they cannot justify their presence in their homes and families.

Fingers pointed

It should also be noted that fingers are always pointed at the wife when a marriage is unfruitful. She usually goes through all the tests and treatments from both native and modern doctors after a few years (or months) have passed without a pregnancy.

She’s expected to bear the brunt of the blame and the guilt while fighting for her home so that she is not replaced.

The pressure to have babies can be harrowing, even for a woman who has her husband’s support and understanding. For one who doesn’t, it can turn her life into a living hell.

Maybe, when we look at it this way, we can see why these women are pushed to infidelity.

Glorified fertility

Maybe if fertility wasn’t so fetishised, women wouldn’t resort to desperate measures to keep their homes. In fact, some of these men know that they are infertile; and that the children are not theirs. They turn a blind eye to this because the woman has done what’s needed to save his face.

The whole situation is messed up. And when the man finds out, the children are left suddenly fatherless. We should be more open to adoption and stop placing so much emphasis on having our biological children.

Do you think that desperate measures are justified to keep up appearances? Share your opinion below or on Facebook: Love Matters Africa and Love Matters Naija.

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