Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Taking action on being taken for granted

By Valentine Njoroge July 1, 12:18 pm
For three months, I’ve been with a guy who had been eying me for a long time. But since I agreed to be his gal, he stopped communicating.

He’s slowed his pace and lowered his game. We’re now always fighting and so I’m getting bored, heartbroken, and starting to hate men...

Playing games

Let me guess, now that he is pulling away, you are being more attentive than ever? Now that you are the one calling him and trying to meet him all the time, he’s acting like he has better things to do? And your fights are about him lowering his game? Well, it’s because he feels he has you. He is taking you for granted because you have allowed it.

Start ignoring him. A man who has been eying you for months at one point thought you were unreachable. Now that you have said yes to dating him, anakuzoea, and he’s enjoying all the attention. You need to shift back the power balance.

Shift the balance

The next time he calls or texts, ignore him at least twice. When he calls the third time, talk to him briefly and be the first to get off the phone.

From then on, be random… Talk to him at length when you feel like, but then cut him short every once in a while. Then stop seeing him more than once a week.

This is not about him, this is about you. Stop nagging him about what he is doing or not doing. Just be a pleasant experience to be with. Celebrate what he does right, and ignore what annoys you. When he is back to being attentive and loving, just like you want him to be, shower him with praise and give him more of your time and attention. Until then, get busy doing the things you enjoy – the things you were doing before he started eyeing you.


Have you been taken for granted? How did you take back the power while still saving the relationship? Or did you? Comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

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