Banana covered in lipstick stains
Shutterstock

Fiancé received oral sex: should I leave him?

By Steph Haase Friday, January 11, 2019 - 06:00
My fiancé got oral sex from a sex worker during his bachelor party. He's been apologising for it ever since. Should I call off the wedding?


Wow, that’s a tough question!
On the one hand, I feel like brushing it off. Bachelor parties can go wild, and things can get out of hand.

But then, on the other hand, you are supposed to marry this man, trust him, and spend the rest of your life with him. Now that he has broken your trust, do you think this is something you can get over? Forgive him, and learn how to trust him again?

Foundations of relationships

Being able to trust someone is the basis of any relationship.

If you aren’t able to trust someone, the relationship is bound to fail.

A lack of trust will lead to constant fighting, nagging, sleepless nights. You will be wondering where he is and who he is with when you are not around him. You might feel the need to control him, check his phone, ask his friends about his activities. This will be exhausting for you, and uncomfortable for him, at the very least.

Solving the issue

I cannot tell you if you should go ahead and marry him or not. That’s up to you. My suggestion is to sit down with him and share your fears. See how he reacts.
Does he just brush it off as no big deal? Then I would be careful. Is he mortified? That might show you that he really regrets what happened.

I assume you have known this man for at least a little while.

Trust your gut; your intuition will tell you which way to go.

Whatever you do, I think it might be best if you make this decision on your own. Getting input from many people might feel like a good idea, but you don’t want to crowdsource a choice that might affect your happiness for the rest of your life.

I’m sure you will be able to make the decision that is right for you in the end. I wish you all the best and am sending love your way.


Do you need help with a difficult decision? You can always get in touch with our discussion board moderators for guidance. 

Comments

Hey Boni, having unprotected oral sex can expose one to Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). It is therefore important to use protection, a condom when giving oral sex to a man and a Dental dum used to cover the vagina or anus during oral sex. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>