In life, there’s always that person who knows everything about anything. If you started talking about parenting, they will have something to say even if they don’t have kids. If you start talking about Jesus, they know him better than you do. When it comes to relationships, the singles will have input.
Would you take their advice on love and relationships?
First, let’s be clear, by single we mean someone who is not in a committed romantic relationship. I heard someone say that even if you’re engaged, been introduced to their grandmother, or moved in, consider yourself single still. We are focusing on the first group today.
Second, the single person we are focusing on has been in a committed relationship(s). The one who is happily single, not the one who’s bitter and wanting to burn their exe’s bottoms. The one who doesn’t lament about being single every day. The one who wants to be in a relationship someday but for now, their focus is on self-love and growth. That one.
That old saying of ‘other half’ is not as healthy as it sounds. You need to be whole on your own. The other person is there to compliment you, not to complete you. A single person who’s happy with their single status can teach you a thing or two about their own identity.
They have learned how to separate themselves from romantic emotions. It is rare to find a healthily single person saying that they have lost their sense of identity. People in relationships may from time to time experience codependency and this may lead to low confidence in their own identity.
Not all single people are single because they haven’t had an opportunity for love, some are just picky about who they ride with. One thing you can learn from this group is that you should only get into a relationship with someone who makes you want to quit the streets. Don’t be in an unhealthy ‘in the meantime’ situation.
Raha jipe mwenyewe. When you’re healthily single, your focus is you, your growth, your happiness. You set aside time to discover more things about yourself. This is by no means an insinuation that people in a relationship cannot find themselves, it just means that it is easier to understand yourself when you are single: when you do not meet another person halfway in everything or wait for them to have a good time.
When someone hurts you, they do not, and should not, determine when and how you heal. Healing cannot be done by someone else on your behalf. Don’t take the ‘a shoulder to lean on' phrase too seriously, when healing you do the bulk of the work.
Single people can teach you that healing is best achieved when you set time to reconnect with yourself. You get the chance to think about who you are, your values, your growth, and what you hope to achieve in life.
That’s not all:
In any case, sometimes, all we need is honest advice from a trusted friend or family, and in this case, their relationship status should not be an issue.
Plus, their advice could be from experience as well, maybe not now, but at some point, in their lives, so don’t ignore it all. Unless they have been single all their lives of course.
It may surprise you that you get some of the best, objective advice and meaningful support from single people. Asking for advice does not always have to be on their current status but from life experiences and their perspective on various relationship issues.
A new perspective is always a great idea. It just means you will have alternative points of view to factor in your decisions.
Would you take any love or relationship advice from a single person?