• Safe Sex

Why do men avoid seeing a doctor?

By Love Matters Kenya on

We have made a lot of progress in medicine but it’s still a big taboo for men to speak about their sexual and reproductive health issues. We spoke to young men about their experiences with sexual problems.

‘Super uncomfortable’ 

I am not comfortable seeing a doctor for sexual health problems. I regularly go to the doctor for any other medical issues but not when it’s private.

Of course I have had to pay a heavy price for this. Last year, my partner developed a rash in her pelvic region. Within a few days, I got it too. There was an irresistible urge to scratch. I didn’t pay much attention to it and soon there were little boils around my penis area. It was unbearable.

I called up a pharmacist I knew and pretended to speak on behalf of a shy friend and narrated the symptoms. It turned out that I had a fungal infection and a week’s medication cured it. I trusted the pharmacist more than the doctor because it was comfortable and anonymous.

– a 25-year-old sales executive.

‘Lost interest!’ 

After putting twelve hours as a salesman every day in a mobile showroom, I have little energy or interest left to have sex with my wife. I don’t remember the last time we made it together.

I have not consulted a doctor as I never thought this was a health problem. I always thought that it is natural to lose interest in sex, when one is fatigued. In my opinion, there is no cure to it. How can a doctor help anyone in my position? Can a doctor even motivate me to have sex with my wife?

– a 28-year-old mobile showroom salesman. 

‘Not man enough?’

I had performance problems after my marriage. Initially, I thought it was an unimportant thing but soon I realised that it was affecting our relationship.

I was reluctant to go to the doctor. I know some people who discuss such problems with their friends and then it becomes a joke among them. I was afraid that if someone I knew saw me at the clinic, I would be embarrassed. Eventually, it was a threat from my wife that made me visit the doctor.

– a 32-year-old real estate agent.

‘Fear of being judged’

Unlike women, it is tough for men to go to the doctor for problems related to sexual health. My wife doesn’t have a problem going to a gynaecologist. But it is tough for men to be discussing their sexual problems with other men, even if they are doctors.

I think it’s because we think that we are being judged, at least I feel that way. Why should I discuss with someone what happens between me and my wife? Revealing secrets like that is almost like letting someone have a peek in my bedroom.

– a 25-year-old stock broker.

‘Lost sense of directions’

I was facing trouble at sustaining an erection for longer time. I simply didn’t know where to get it treated from for a couple of years. I wasn’t aware of what kind of doctors would treat such problems.

Even after finding one, going for the treatment was not an easy task, at least for the first time.  What if someone in the clinic recognizes me? Or what if my social circle comes to know about it?

– a 29-year-old digital media marketing professional.

Are you reluctant to see a doctor for your sexual health problems? Write your experiences via comments or Facebook.