I love two ladies, whom should I marry?
I am 34 and single. I love two ladies. One is my age, works, has a lot of cash, never cooks or cleans my house, and rarely visits – she claims to be too busy.
The other is 10 years younger, unemployed and does everything for me – washing, cooking, ironing, cleaning etc. Which one should I marry?
Wife or maid?
Hahahaha!!! I think you may have asked the wrong person this question. Are you looking for a wife or a maid?
Jokes aside, though, have you heard of the book The Five Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman? He writes that each of us has a language that screams ‘love’ to us.
The languages are: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts/acts of service. We all understand the other languages but we have one or perhaps two that really resonate with us. Is sounds like yours is acts of service. You love these women and you could, by your own admission spend your life with either of them. However, one apparently speaks your language of love fluently while the other apparently still needs to be taught.
Who speaks your language?
The younger woman makes you feel wanted and cared for while the other is ‘too busy’ to see you. More than just the language of love, it doesn’t sound like the older lady is very interested in you and your life.
I cannot possibly tell you whom to marry. That’s a very personal choice and but for the short e-mail you wrote, I don’t know anything else about you. We cannot foresee the future and the decision to marry is inherently and flagrantly hopeful and optimistic. We commit to building a life with another person believing that we will navigate the future together. While dating, we look for markers that indicate where our partner is most likely to fall when it comes to big decisions surrounding money, child-rearing, religion, fidelity etc.
Ask different questions
Perhaps instead of looking at chores which can easily be fulfilled by hired help, you should be asking deeper questions about the women you date. Such as: What are their values? How would they like to raise their children? Are they, or are they not, honest law-abiding citizens.
Washing plates is easy. Creating a home filled with kindness and acceptance is a lot more challenging.
Which woman would you choose? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook Naija and Kenya, or the discussion board.
Tell us what you think
Recent Comments (52)
The younger girl has give it
The younger girl has give it all to be with the man buh the workin class has no time meaning even if he Marries her no tym for em to sit nd tok cz ever she is busy but anyway just follow ur heart
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I would merry the young one
I would merry the young one for sure, she loves you more than the older gal does and money never buys you happiness having someone next to you to love does.
Thanks for letting us know
Thanks for letting us know what you think about this?
gbnw40vrkh
gbnw40vrkh
it’s bttr 2go 4dat who do
it’s bttr 2go 4dat who do anythin&vist u
Thanks, Chris!
Thanks, Chris!
i prefer de young one pesa
i prefer de young one pesa tutatafta badae
Asante, Carol.
Asante, Carol.
No wonder u r 34 n single coz
No wonder u r 34 n single coz u dont love any of them, u love wat they do 4 u. Enda tafuta mtu unapenda na uwache mchezo.
Thanks for your frank words!
Thanks for your frank words!
No wonder u r 34 n single coz
No wonder u r 34 n single coz u dont love any of them, u love wat they do 4 u. Enda tafuta mtu unapenda na uwache mchezo.
love can still exist without
love can still exist without money so long as u trully lov each other
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Cynthia!
Younger one
Younger one
Thanks Penny. Can we ask why?
Thanks Penny. Can we ask why?
Marry the younger one
Marry the younger one
Thanks Penny. Can we ask why?
Thanks Penny. Can we ask why?
marry the one with a ugly
marry the one with a ugly face
Interesting advice- how come?
Interesting advice- how come?
da one wth da sm age u’ll
da one wth da sm age u’ll sort ha slowly en leave da young wc cn let u en prbs
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Carlos.
marry the 2nd one bcoz if u
marry the 2nd one bcoz if u had truely loved the 1st one u wouldnt have fallen for someone else
Thank you for your input!
Thank you for your input!
u realy dnt love any of them
u realy dnt love any of them at all. U have one heart not two there4 u cant love two gals at fhe same time. Go look for ua love en mould her the way u want with ua love. Gud luck en listen to ua heart dear.
Thanks, Angel!
Thanks, Angel!
Acha ufala ww u dnt lve any1
Acha ufala ww u dnt lve any1 of them u just lve uaself n lve wat these wmen represent in ua lyf..da younger one rep a submisive wman dat makes u fl dat u av her unda ua power da olda 1 rep an indepent woman dat makes u fl lyk u ave conquered a feminist so leave thm alne so u dnt brk thea hrts 4 nthg u work on uaself bcz clearly u ave isues…afta dat u kan luk 4 a ldy u wl truly lve
Thanks, Ann!
Thanks, Ann!
she’s doing all that because
she’s doing all that because of unemployment but once she gets a good job, she will even be putting off her phone or put In silence in order not to be disturbed. so plz u have to be careful when making decision to marry one of them. marriage is a life time institution and it’s only u who can make that decision. open up to the working class and tell her ur mind and give her a specific time frame to decide.
That’s an interesting
That’s an interesting perspective, thanks Christina!
it not really possible to
it not really possible to determine someone’s happiness or heart desire work may, material, money, visiting may not count a lot but feelings matter in every relationship if but of you feels for each other then love will lead to married please may your feelings determined who is for real.
Thanks very much for your
Thanks very much for your input Marc.
There is more behold, love is
There is more behold, love is a feeling not an action. If they show nothing behold what they do, thats just confusion. So take time
Thanks for sharing that with
Thanks for sharing that with us Justo.
I don’t think its necessary
I don’t think its necessary DAT a Would – be wife has 2 fulfill d responsibilities of a married wife; pls don’t expect her 2 act married when she’s still single.What is important is” does she possess d qualities u want in a wife?” If d other lady who is unemployed now has a job how are u sure she won’t also exhibit d same attitude?
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
I admire the young girl coz…
I admire the young girl coz love is not just mere words its actions.for I would go for behaviours
Thank you for your…
Thank you for your contribution John.
Love is very funny…
Love is very funny
You may be loving someone with all your heart but he/she may not be having true love. You looks to be in a two way status man.
You really love the other old lady and you want to be with her, but she is either too committed or pretending to be loving you.
But put in mind that however much you are busy,you will still create time for your lover. Of which the old one doesn’t do it for you.
Beside, the young girl has the true love for you that is why she is giving her best to you so that you grow in your heart the true love for her. But you are not very interested in her that is why decision will keeps on contradicting you.
Love is not fair my brother.
You won’t be able to take either of them, so try looking for someone whom you can be balanced in caring for each other.
Love has to be balanced my bro
That is it.
Thank you for your…
Thank you for your contribution Pensan.
i prefer the younger one
i prefer the younger one
We appreciate your…
We appreciate your contribution Joseph.
I am inlove with two girls…
I am inlove with two girls both of them are very good to me, I don’t know which to choose for marriage?
Hi Clement, it is important…
Hi Clement, it is important you take sometime and think about what you want in a partner now and in a long term relationship. After that you will have to choose the one who best represents the person you want. The truth is you will have do it at some point and the sooner you do it the better it maybe. We wish you well.
It depends on who you really…
It depends on who you really love. The Younger one loves yiu, do yiu really love her? Its obvious yiu dont love the older one apart from her cash and she dobt lovr you either.
Thank you John for your…
Thank you John for your contribution.
Between the two there should…
Between the two there should be the one whom u think feels your world with joy
Thank you for your…
Thank you for your contribution Emmanuel.
The younger one maybe doing…
The younger one maybe doing all those things coz she is unemployed…
Thank you so much for your…
Thank you so much for your feedback Alex.
The younger one
The younger one
Why do you feel this way…
Why do you feel this way Anonymous?