People elope for a lot of different reasons. In the West, more and more couples are eloping to avoid the big drama around weddings. Couples that prefer a quiet ceremony over a big wedding party choose to register their marriage without much hullabaloo. They then break the news to their parents and family.
In some cultures, couples elope because their parents or families strongly oppose their marriage on grounds of religion or tribe. Imagine this: you’re in love with someone and are sure of wanting to marry them, but your parents won’t allow the marriage because your partner is from a different background. You’ve tried negotiating with your family, but it isn’t working out. So you might feel like eloping with your partner and having a secret wedding is the only way out.
The section is titled ‘how to elope’, but before you decide to elope, ask yourself a few serious questions.
- Am I really up for it?
- What are the risks involved?
- Will I be financially secure if my family cuts me off?
- Do I fully trust the person I plan to elope with?
- Am I marrying out of love or something else?
- Am I doing this because I am facing pressure from my partner?
Tread with caution
Understanding the consequences of eloping and the risks involved will help you to make an informed decision. While some couples can do without their family’s support, others can’t.
If you think you will be able to win over your family or community once you have tied the knot, that could be true – but it could just be wishful thinking.
Some couples who elope are eventually accepted by their families. But others are disowned and never get to come back into their own or their marital family for years and years – for weddings, births, or funerals, or even if the whole family emigrates.
So we’d advise you to always tread with caution. If in doubt, ask for help:
One2One Hotline: 1190 (free from any Safaricom line)
Oasis Counselling Center: 0733366614
Discovery Counselling Services: 0700270983/0721513438*
*We currently list Kenyan help only. This will change in the future.