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When love fades away

When love fades away: that feeling that you are just not into your partner anymore. What to do? Shrug it off or bite the bullet?

Facing the expiry date

'I know it’s time to let the relationship go,' says Lucy (31). 'But then I think about how much I have invested in the relationship already – the time, emotions, even money – I feel I cannot just throw it all away. Besides, I’m a little scared of being single. How do I start dating all over again?'

So should Lucy just shrug it off by saying all relationships go through the ‘stuck’ phase and this too shall pass?

But for Lucy, it doesn’t pass. While she used to look forward to going for romantic dinners with her partner before, now, the thought brings flashes of a visit to the dentist. So returning to dating again has become a painful but necessary evil.

Lucy realises that she has been holding to a relationship whose expiry date has long passed.

Tick-Tock

Many women past 30 fear letting go of an already existing relationship and starting all over again because of the so-called 'ticking clock'.

'What if I don’t meet that ‘Mister Right’ after letting go of the relationship?' wonders Lucy. 'Isn’t it better to have a tolerable relationship than ending up alone pursuing that ideal man? I want to get married and if I start dating now, when will I get a ring, walk down the aisle, get children and build a family? I don’t even want to think about it.'

The fire

But such is life. It takes courage to walk away from an okay relationship to put your faith in finding an awesome one. Sometimes we meet someone and think – wow, this is my soulmate. You get along like a house on fire. He completes your sentences. You like the same things. When you think of him, he coincidentally calls you to tell you how much he has been thinking of you. It’s magic…

But then time passes and such things become less exciting…

But after some time, that burning flame starts to fizzle out and one can start blaming themselves. What am I not doing right? However, the reality is that it’s often not your fault (or his). It’s the novelty that’s exciting – whether it’s a new relationship, learning a new language, or feeling that adrenalin rush that comes with getting that job you always wanted.

The ashes

But then time passes and such things become less exciting…

In relationships, you might find that the more time you spend with your partner, the more you realise you do not necessarily like some of their behaviours. Or worse: you come to dislike their character.

Well, as much as it hurts to see all your investments go down the drain, it’s better to cut your losses early.

Whatever you do, realise that some unions were not meant to last forever; appreciate the good times you had, but move on and know the best is yet to come.

Have you had to drop a dead-end relationship? Share your experiences. Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. If you have any questions, visit our discussion board.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Unfortunately even if it is a husband if you are no longer into each other it is just a matter of time. If it is a married the process of ending the relationship is more complicated from legal issues but more importantly societal expectations including family. But will you stay in a miserable relationship for the rest of your life trying to make everyone else happy but yourself? You have to know when it is not working and it cannot work and then make that difficult but important decision. Sometimes if you are both committed you can walk back and rebuild what you had but at times you may have walked to far apart to walk back. Think about it. Check out the following article about when to breakup:- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
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