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Should women make the first move?

So many times, my lady friends approach me and tell me, ‘You used to be my crush! I liked you so much!’

And every time I’d get so angry and sad. Why didn’t you tell me before? I probably had the same feelings for you Susan, but both of us were too shy to admit it.

Men has this ever happened to you?! 

Look, I am a liberal here too, and I think if you like someone you should tell them. Life and I hate to use this cliché, is too short for you to second-guess yourself.

Besides, what is the worst that can happen? Other than saying no, and breaking your heart just kidogo? But even if your heart gets broken, you learn how to handle rejection and get stronger. There is a silver lining in every cloud.

Very few women make the first move which if you ask me is another pandemic. Stereotypically, women are used to men taking initiative in a relationship, they’re not only expected to ask a woman out first, but marriage proposals are also, very often, left up to them.

And, on the other hand, men tend to send more messages and therefore get rejected and accepted more than women. This strategy has the same principle as fishing, the bigger the net you cast, the higher your chances are of catching something or someone (this might be where the old ‘there’s plenty of fish on the sea’ saying comes from). But quantity does not necessarily reflect on quality. 

What are the pros?

It puts you in control

Ultimately, you just shouldn’t be waiting around for life to happen to you. You could be waiting days, months, or years for someone to make the first move. Or, you could just go for it. And even if the person isn’t interested, at least you’ll know right away rather than wasting your own time by sitting around waiting for something that is never going to happen.

When a woman makes the first move, most likely they have identified their ‘target’, done her research, and is in a good position to be accepted. And here’s the funny thing, lately I have been approached by two very beautiful ladies, I will not name them here in case they read this, but if I were in the mood for a relationship, I might’ve said yes. But, no biggie as now I have made friends for life.

Making the first move may be as simple as a hi. Just that.

Before I start sounding like a motivational speaker, here’s what you need to know: The answer will always be no until you ask. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't make that first move, but I've learned that it's so important to go after what you want, not just in relationships, but with everything.

Therefore, if you want to show someone you're interested in but are scared it'll backfire, consider this permission to go for it.

So…hi?

Reated: Who Should Say 'I love you' First?

Over to you, do you think women should make the first move? To women, have you ever made the first move?

Did you learn something new?

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