How to wait for love
I am lonely and need a man. But I don’t fall in love. Is that normal?
Lonely vs in need of a man?
I think you will find that if you look around, you belong to a well-populated club. That said, being lonely and needing a man are two different things. Loneliness is really the feeling of being unknown and unseen.
I am sure that there are people who you love and who love you back – people for whom you are sunshine personified.
How about spending more time with them? How about letting them see and know more of you? How about sharing that you are lonely and asking them to step in and do things that you are looking forward doing with a partner? Perhaps you are dreaming of travelling with your future partner, so how about a trip with the girls or even a male friend?
You can live without a man
It’s true that life partners offer something unique and they share our lives in a way that friends and even family cannot. However, we sometimes place such high emphasis on what that relationship can offer that we miss out on what friendships with those who love us can bring us. So how about while you are single and ‘not falling in love’, you give these relationships a chance to grow and fulfil you in other ways?
You are in a great space
Yes, it’s perfectly normal not to fall in love. It’s also fantastic that you know yourself well enough to acknowledge your loneliness and not settle for ‘faking it’ with someone you are not in love with. Dating is a game wherein you get to say ‘no’ a lot, and people get to say ‘no’ back to you. So get used to saying ‘no’ until someone comes along to inspire a definite and very loud ‘YES!’
Do you have more tips on playing the waiting game while waiting for your love to come along? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. You can reach us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.
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Recent Comments (40)
I hv a question y n life u
I hv a question y n life u find that u a wth girls whch u dont luv most those u luv most they dont want 2 peak 2 u,?
Awww Max, the big question in
Awww Max, the big question in life and love… And a difficult one, at that. The only advice there is is easy- and also very difficult. Stop being with someone you don’t love, and look for the one you love and who wants to be with you. Sounds easy, is difficult! But it will be worth it! Good luck!
Am i a diva?so many male
Am i a diva?so many male friends bt i av none
Hi Lucy,
Hi Lucy,
what do you mean? Do you want a boyfriend but can’t find one? Sometimes, it takes time to find someone you like and who likes you! Don’t give up!
Are you just friends to them…
Are you just friends to them within you or you feel love for them?
Hi, we appreciate your…
Hi, we appreciate your contribution.
jst the other day i had found
jst the other day i had found my sould when i tld her i want to marry her she sounded yes but laiter on she refused she stays with the cousin so i dont understand wht the cousin told her to me its painfull N i love her
Hi Victor,
Hi Victor,
Have you talked to her about this? There is no point in speculating why or why not she is doing something- if you want to have a successful marriage, you need to talk and be honest with each other. And now is the time to start! Good luck!
Hi,am unable to get a girl of
Hi,am unable to get a girl of my dream and if i get her,she ends up rejecting me.
Hi there,
Hi there,
sorry to hear about that!
Love hurts sometimes, and getting rejected really hurts. But please don’t give up and don’t stop believing in love; one day, it will come to you!
What can i do to gain
What can i do to gain confidence to approach girls? Am 22 but i’ve never had even real friends(people to talk to and socialise) only schools mates when in school but once outta there…am all alone. Is this normal or am just being paranoid? What is there for me to do?
Hi Wanda,
Hi Wanda,
approaching girls, or any other person, takes practice. It can be a bit scary to put yourself out there, but it’s very rewarding to make friends or talk to a girl you like.
It’s easiest if you have something in common, so try people at your workplace, neighbours or at church (if you go to church). Or join a group or start a new hobby. Introduce yourself. Start talking about small things, like the weather or new work assignments. And if it’s a girl you like, ask her if she wants to join you for some chai. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work at first- practice will help you! good luck and let us know how it goes!
i
i
always get big ”no” from those i try to befriend and this has gotten
me scared.at 23 and i’ve had a girlfriend.what should i do? please help
Hi Wanda, take it slowly. Try
Hi Wanda, take it slowly. Try to make friends with a girl first. Spend some time with them, be nice and don’t pressure them. Coming on too strong can scare people- so take it nice and slow :-)! Good luck!
I realy dnt know were i fall
I realy dnt know were i fall coz am in a relationship and i feel i care for this person and am not yet in love with him.
Hi Tee,
Hi Tee,
are you okay with this? And when you say ‘not yet’, do you think there is the possibility of you falling in love with him at some point?
It’s okay that you don’t know where this is going right now, as long as you are okay with it. Take your time and decide on what you want. But you should be somewhat honest with your partner. You don’t need to bluntly tell him you aren’t in love, but don’t get up his hopes or wishes if you aren’t sure what you want.
I’m in lov wit agal hu i
I’m in lov wit agal hu i realy lov mxt ,bt she kip on b in blue(moodless) en wen i tlk 2 ha she dn’t respond @ll nor 2 fidbck ma txts bt wen i ask ha weta she lovx mi she says yes ,elp mi coz i’m confussed weta iz true she lovx mi,,
Hi Denny,
Hi Denny,
you need to talk to her again. Tell her how her behavior makes you feel. Tell her it confuses and hurts you. And then try to come up with a solution that work for both of you!
I'm in lov wit agal
I'm in lov wit agal hu i realy lov mxt ,bt she kip on b in blue(moodless) en wen i tlk 2 ha she dn't respond @ll nor 2 fidbck ma txts bt wen i ask ha weta she lovx mi she says yes ,elp mi coz i'm confussed weta iz true she lovx mi,,
Hi Denny,
Hi Denny,
have you tried telling her what it makes you feel when she behaves like this?
I'm in lov wit agal
I'm in lov wit agal hu i realy lov mxt ,bt she kip on b in blue(moodless) en wen i tlk 2 ha she dn't respond @ll nor 2 fidbck ma txts bt wen i ask ha weta she lovx mi she says yes ,elp mi coz i'm confussed weta iz true she lovx mi,,
I had broken up with my x
I had broken up with my x 4mnths ago bt stl luved him..I had 2 lv wea i ws and start my lyf again in nai so as to get over hm bt invain…We talked recently n he told me that he wil luv me til the end of tym n it wl dpnd on my dcsn n plans if we cn stl b 2gthr….could this be real love dat we r expriencing or could he be my mr right
If you both love each other,
If you both love each other, why did you break up?
Am in a rship 4 3yrs now but
Am in a rship 4 3yrs now but i stil don fil dat lv n care from my patna.Any other tym i ask 4 an outing,she always gives rizons dat on my perspective r not satisfactory n i end up doubting her luv.Wot shud i do 2 make her more comited in our luv?
Hi Nicelasher,
Hi Nicelasher,
have you talked to her about this at all? You should!
am single.have not found any
am single.have not found any man who suits me.am so lonely.what do I do
Aww, pole Faith.
Aww, pole Faith.
Be patient, it will happen!
Av been dating a guy for two
Av been dating a guy for two months then I moved in with him.we were in love.we had a big fight and broke up.he has never called or txt .i miss him its been nine weeks.his slept with twelve girls its killing me.how do I get him out of my heart?
Pole sana!
Pole sana!
Check out this, it may help you! http://lovematters.co.ke/news/getting-over-your-ex-dos-and-donts
Am single am much lonely nt 2
Am single am much lonely nt 2 know how to aploach ladies so shy $ i need one what do i do help me.
Try practicing with ladies in
Try practicing with ladies in your environment. Talk to them, be nice and grow more confident every time. And then, when you meet someone you like, it will still be scary, but far less than it is right now!
Good luck!
Am single am much lonely nt 2
Am single am much lonely nt 2 know how to aploach ladies so shy $ i need one what do i do help me.
I ALWAY FALL FOR MARRIED
I ALWAY FALL FOR MARRIED PEOPLE,AM I K, AM CONFUSED,HEARTBROKEN WEN I FOUND OUT DAT HE WAS MARRIED RECENTLY.AM NOW LONELY WAT DO I DO?
Pole sana, Angel.
Pole sana, Angel.
Before you get into a relationship with someone else, spend some time on getting to know them. They might still hide a marriage from you, but the longer you wait and the better you get to know them, the easier it will become to judge.
i am lonly but i want 2 mrry
i am lonly but i want 2 mrry u are u ready
Are you talking to us :-)?
Are you talking to us :-)?
Am single and looking around…
Am single and looking around for a girl of my dreams. However, some time back I met one beautiful queen at a place where I buy my business things. She’s so serious and I really love her. But I don’t know how to start!
Hey, You seem to be already…
Hey, You seem to be already interacting with her. You just need to brave and tell how you feel toward her. If you are too shy to do it face to face you can start by calling or even texting then build from there. Check out the following article for more tips.
https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
It s important to note that…
It s important to note that in situations where you’re the one doing all the work, there s always a chance that person is wasting your time whilst fishing for other opportunities. I ve seen this happen a lot. The plan is usually to keep you around just incase things don t work with someone else. But if someone has asked you to wait, they also own the risk you’ll figure you deserve better and lose interest. Remember, it s never your fault for moving on. Don t allow others to blame you for showing a little self-care.
Thank you for your…
Thank you for your contribution.