Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

How to wait for love

By Valentine Njoroge July 22, 10:53 am
I am lonely and need a man. But I don’t fall in love. Is that normal?

Lonely vs in need of a man?

I think you will find that if you look around, you belong to a well-populated club. That said, being lonely and needing a man are two different things. Loneliness is really the feeling of being unknown and unseen.

I am sure that there are people who you love and who love you back – people for whom you are sunshine personified.

How about spending more time with them? How about letting them see and know more of you? How about sharing that you are lonely and asking them to step in and do things that you are looking forward doing with a partner? Perhaps you are dreaming of travelling with your future partner, so how about a trip with the girls or even a male friend?

You can live without a man

It’s true that life partners offer something unique and they share our lives in a way that friends and even family cannot. However, we sometimes place such high emphasis on what that relationship can offer that we miss out on what friendships with those who love us can bring us. So how about while you are single and 'not falling in love', you give these relationships a chance to grow and fulfil you in other ways?

You are in a great space

Yes, it’s perfectly normal not to fall in love. It’s also fantastic that you know yourself well enough to acknowledge your loneliness and not settle for 'faking it' with someone you are not in love with. Dating is a game wherein you get to say 'no' a lot, and people get to say 'no' back to you. So get used to saying 'no' until someone comes along to inspire a definite and very loud 'YES!'


Do you have more tips on playing the waiting game while waiting for your love to come along? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook. You can reach us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Awww Max, the big question in life and love... And a difficult one, at that. The only advice there is is easy- and also very difficult. Stop being with someone you don't love, and look for the one you love and who wants to be with you. Sounds easy, is difficult! But it will be worth it! Good luck!
Hi Lucy, what do you mean? Do you want a boyfriend but can't find one? Sometimes, it takes time to find someone you like and who likes you! Don't give up!
Anonymous
Tue, 07/30/2013 - 01:59 pm
jst the other day i had found my sould when i tld her i want to marry her she sounded yes but laiter on she refused she stays with the cousin so i dont understand wht the cousin told her to me its painfull N i love her
Hi Victor, Have you talked to her about this? There is no point in speculating why or why not she is doing something- if you want to have a successful marriage, you need to talk and be honest with each other. And now is the time to start! Good luck!
Hi there, sorry to hear about that! Love hurts sometimes, and getting rejected really hurts. But please don't give up and don't stop believing in love; one day, it will come to you!
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