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How to shoot your shot: the Naija dating guide

By Anonymous November 7, 06:00 am
What do you do when you are attracted to another human but are terribly afraid of shooting your shot?

The concept of shooting your shot is not a new one. But in 2018, it got a lot of traffic on social media. The belief that you should go for who you want, regardless of background, society’s rules, and all the fears that come with relationships, has warmed the hearts of many.

At Love Matters, we have some tips to help you approach the person you are interested in. And who knows, this might even lead to a proper relationship.

Do some research

It is easy to run a quick Google and social media search to get a general feel of what they are like.
This will help guide your decision to initiate the first contact with them. This research also helps in steering the conversation when you both start talking.

Just make sure this research doesn't turn into stalking – that's creepy and just wrong. 

Introduce yourself

Growing up, the average Nigerian movie had love plots that showed an unassuming person living in obscurity and meeting the destined lover by fate’s luck.
In real life, it isn’t always that easy. You have to be visible.

We live in a technology-driven world and chances are high that you are shooting your shots via a social media platform. But that doesn't mean you should forget your manners. Be polite and introduce yourself. Do not spell out your history in the first message. It's a conversation, not an interview.

The nicest way to slide into the DM is to refer to a post they made that you liked.
If that doesn’t feel enough, look for a common topic to discuss.

Please do not be creepy. People find it weird when you know everything about them ahead of time.

Be yourself

This is very important. Because as time goes on, the truth about you will be revealed.

Do not try to be another version of yourself just so that they like you. If you know you don’t like cooking, for instance, don’t act like you are a chef because you won't be able to keep that up.
Be yourself. If they don't like who you really are, it's better to find out now than months down the line, when you have invested lots of time and effort into a deadbeat relationship.

Keep trying

Even if you follow these tips and do your best, sometimes, things just don't work out.
The truth is, human beings are dynamic and we can’t promise that every approach will be 100 per cent successful.

So when things do not work out, don’t get scared and recoil into your shell. Don't think there is anything wrong with you.
At the very least, even if you don’t end up with the person, you will have grown throughout the process. Re-load that catapult and shoot your next shot.

Will you be shooting your shot today? Share your thoughts in the comments below. For questions about dating, head to our discussion board.

Did you learn something new?


Hey Goodluck, the way to do it is to be confident and if you meet someone you like, be honest, tell them how you feel to see if they would be interested. Girls find confidence attractive, so be brave. You could also have do it on phone if you are too shy to do it face to face or have a mutual friend introduce you. Have a look at the following article;-

Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea.

The best way to do this is to try and find shared interests. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you and it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.

Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached them (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally, as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.

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