How to shoot your shot: the Naija dating guide
What do you do when you are attracted to another human but are terribly afraid of shooting your shot?
The concept of shooting your shot is not a new one. But in 2018, it got a lot of traffic on social media. The belief that you should go for who you want, regardless of background, society’s rules, and all the fears that come with relationships, has warmed the hearts of many.
At Love Matters, we have some tips to help you approach the person you are interested in. And who knows, this might even lead to a proper relationship.
Do some research
It is easy to run a quick Google and social media search to get a general feel of what they are like.
This will help guide your decision to initiate the first contact with them. This research also helps in steering the conversation when you both start talking.
Just make sure this research doesn’t turn into stalking – that’s creepy and just wrong.
Introduce yourself
Growing up, the average Nigerian movie had love plots that showed an unassuming person living in obscurity and meeting the destined lover by fate’s luck.
In real life, it isn’t always that easy. You have to be visible.
We live in a technology-driven world and chances are high that you are shooting your shots via a social media platform. But that doesn’t mean you should forget your manners. Be polite and introduce yourself. Do not spell out your history in the first message. It’s a conversation, not an interview.
The nicest way to slide into the DM is to refer to a post they made that you liked.
If that doesn’t feel enough, look for a common topic to discuss.
Please do not be creepy. People find it weird when you know everything about them ahead of time.
Be yourself
This is very important. Because as time goes on, the truth about you will be revealed.
Do not try to be another version of yourself just so that they like you. If you know you don’t like cooking, for instance, don’t act like you are a chef because you won’t be able to keep that up.
Be yourself. If they don’t like who you really are, it’s better to find out now than months down the line, when you have invested lots of time and effort into a deadbeat relationship.
Keep trying
Even if you follow these tips and do your best, sometimes, things just don’t work out.
The truth is, human beings are dynamic and we can’t promise that every approach will be 100 per cent successful.
So when things do not work out, don’t get scared and recoil into your shell. Don’t think there is anything wrong with you.
At the very least, even if you don’t end up with the person, you will have grown throughout the process. Re-load that catapult and shoot your next shot.
Will you be shooting your shot today? Share your thoughts in the comments below. For questions about dating, head to our discussion board.
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Recent Comments (26)
It’s great
It’s great
Thank you for the feedback…
Thank you for the feedback Dominic.
Please can you teach me how…
Please can you teach me how to woo a girl….please reply me immediately
Hey Goodluck, the way to do…
Hey Goodluck, the way to do it is to be confident and if you meet someone you like, be honest, tell them how you feel to see if they would be interested. Girls find confidence attractive, so be brave. You could also have do it on phone if you are too shy to do it face to face or have a mutual friend introduce you. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
How to approach a girl the…
How to approach a girl the first time you meet her
Reaching out to people that…
Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea.
The best way to do this is to try and find shared interests. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you and it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.
Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached them (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally, as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.
Thanks atleast i can make a…
Thanks atleast i can make a move
Hey Kamah, we are glad this…
Hey Kamah, we are glad this is useful to you.
Thatz soo nice to take in…
Thatz soo nice to take in life
You are welcome Abdulsalam.
You are welcome Abdulsalam.
I don’t know what to say and…
I don’t know what to say and I am afraid to talk to her can u help me
Hey Victor, if you like…
Hey Victor, if you like someone all you need to do is to be brave and share with them how you feel. Remember, girls find confidence attractive, so be brave and let her know how you feel. You can also call or text, or even have a mutual friend introduce you. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
What type of things can you…
What type of things can you talk about with a girl
Hey Mark, things that you…
Hey Mark, things that you are both interested in are great since you both will have a contribution. Try and avoid topics that are sensitive, those that are likely to cause tension between the two of you early in the relationship. Get to know what the girl likes and this will help keep the conversation going. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/tips-for-great-first-dates
Nice idea
Nice idea
Hi Tochi, thank you for the…
Hi Tochi, thank you for the feedback.
INEED AGIRL THAT CAN LOVE
INEED AGIRL THAT CAN LOVE
Hey Jacob, unfortunately, we…
Hey Jacob, unfortunately, we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone.
pls help me i am too shy
pls help me i am too shy
Hey Kingsley, it is normal…
Hey Kingsley, it is normal to feel shy, however for you to get into a relationship with the person you like you have to be brave and ask them out. If you are too shy to approach a person, you could consider having a mutual friend introduce. You can also call or text, though, it is usually better to ask a person out face to face. Have a look at the following articles;-
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/too-shy-to-date
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
…this girl was into me,I…
…this girl was into me,I don’t want to loose her.she asked me to gist her and there was nothing basically because I was stressed up and I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
What should I do?
Hello Triumph, what exactly…
Hello Triumph, what exactly did she ask you to do? Have you tried to talk with about why you were unable to meet her expectation? This is a good place to start, let her know why you were unable to fulfill her request, apologize and perhaps she will be willing to forgive. You can then start over. All the best.
I love the way he broke it…
I love the way he broke it step by step
Hello Reckyjr18, thank you…
Hello Reckyjr18, thank you for your positive feedback buddy! Have a fantastic weekend ahead and stay safe!
Nice ?ro
Nice ?ro
Hi Joh, thank you for your…
Hi Joh, thank you for your feedback.