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Porn: top five facts

Pornography – it can be fun, inspiring, and a real turn on! But isn’t it degrading for women? What’s the difference between soft and hard porn? When do you know you’ve had enough?

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  1. What’s out there?

    Pornography is pictures or videos of sex which are designed to turn you on. ‘Soft porn’ leaves something to the imagination. It might show a man and woman kissing, or a woman in sexy underwear. ‘Hard-core porn’ shows clear images of sex, for example, a naked woman with her legs apart or a close-up of a man and woman having intercourse.

  2. Is it only for men?

    No! More and more women seem to enjoy watching porn every once in a while, studies say. There’s even porn made specifically for women. Lots of porn on the internet often shows violence towards women, or women being degraded, and the women are only there to give pleasure to the men. So porn for women shows for more of what women want: more realistic sex with real people.

  3. Is it real?

    When you look at porn, you often see things most people don’t experience in real life. Sex involving several people, sex between strangers or blindfold sex – anything’s possible in porn. But remember that it’s not like real-life sex. It’s for you to fantasize about. Don’t expect real sex to be the way it is in porn movies.

    What’s more, the actors in porn films usually have bigger muscles and penises than most men. And the actresses are much thinner and have bigger breasts than most women – and they’ve often had breast enlargements or other cosmetic surgery. And in porn, no one wears a condom!

  4. Is it cheating?

    This is a very difficult question to answer with a straight yes or no. The answer depends on several factors: are you in a relationship? Does your partner know you are watching porn? Is your partner okay with you watching it? A lot more questions to answer one question, but this is it in a nutshell – if you can answer yes to all of the above questions, you should be okay.

    If you watch porn secretly or feel guilty about it, you’re partner could feel that you’ve been ‘mentally unfaithful’ if they found out. Or they might feel uncomfortable about the content of the porn you’ve been watching. So the best policy is to be honest with yourself and your partner and talk about watching porn.

  5. Is there a downside?

    It’s not wrong to watch porn, and you certainly won’t be alone if you do! In principle, it’s alright to be turned on by sexy films or pictures. As long as you remember it’s not real life. You can fantasise about whatever you like, but there’s a big difference between fantasy and reality.

    Also, porn can be addictive. It can even start to spoil real-life sex because you find you start enjoying porn more than the real thing. And trying to make the real thing like porn won’t work. If you find yourself wanting to watch more and more extreme kinds of porn, it’s time to stop.

     

    Porn – harmless pleasure or dirty secret? What do you think? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (20)

    1. You are trying and I like…
      You are trying and I like watching it.

  1. I’m 21yrs old & I love porn
    I’m 21yrs old & I love porn but i think some of my fetishes are weird…..I always dream of women using strapons on me now I’m questioning if I may be gay. If a guy has a fetish like this which involves anal penetration, does it imply I’m gay??

    1. Hi Kevin,

      Hi Kevin,
      There are so many misconceptions about anal sex, and one myth is that if a guy wants anal sex, he is gay. This is not the case, at all! There are many reasons why some guys like anal action- the stimulation of the prostate glad, for example. This is one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body. It’s about five centimetres inside the anus on the stomach side. Some men find it arousing to have their prostate touched. You can do it by putting your finger in the anus and moving it in and out.
      The anus is close to the sex organs, has a lot of nerve endings and contracts when you have an orgasm. This is why anal sex feels good.
      So you are by no means abnormal! Keep watching porn, and maybe you can ask your girlfriend if she would be willing to put her finger into your anus, for starters. Good luck, and check out our section on anal sex here: http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/anal-sex#section-2

    1. Hi Steve,

      Hi Steve,
      that’s okay. If you don’t like them, you don’t have to watch them!

  2. Y do porns abuse sex?like a
    Y do porns abuse sex?like a real gent wth a kid

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      it’s true- lots of porn isn’t sex friendly and gives people a wrong idea about sex. But, if you really look, you can find some sex positive porn, as well!

  3. Y do porns abuse sex?like a
    Y do porns abuse sex?like a real gent wth a kid

  4. Porn is a one-sided, self
    Porn is a one-sided, self-satisfying relationship built on lust and immediate gratification. it devalues the true meaning of sex..

    1. Hi Arap,

      Hi Arap,
      yep, sex in porn is indeed different than sex in relationships, and people need to be aware of that!

  5. Pls i’ve been watching porn…
    Pls i’ve been watching porn for years now…sometimes i make up my mind to stop but at the end of the day find myself going back to it,i’ve not been sexually active for years and that’s why i watch it to get aroused and most times ejaculate in the process but i don’t just feel good anymore..i want to put an end to it..i don’t want destroy my own life

    1. Hello Martin, a good place…

      Hello Martin, a good place to start is to find what triggers this and then try and get rid of the trigger or avoid it. It may require you take some drastic measures especially if watching porn interferes with your regular activities that may include work or school. Changing behaviour takes time and it is normal to relapse or to find yourself going back to a behaviour you are trying to drop, but this doesn’t mean you should give or you have failed. Sometimes just reducing the amount of time you spend watching porn is meaningful progress. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/porn/porn-addiction-what-you-can-do-about-it

  6. I wont to join sex and i am…
    I wont to join sex and i am 18 years

    1. Hi Rahmon, what exactly…

      Hi Rahmon, what exactly would you like to join?

    1. Hey, unfortunately we are…

      Hey, unfortunately we are not able to tell you when it all started or even who started it. 

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