Happy woman on her phone in front of a grey wall

When to call after the first date

By Kate R November 10, 06:00 am
You went on a fantastic date and cannot wait to see the other person again. How many days should you wait before calling?
Good vibes

If I get good vibes from the person and it appears that they are also interested, then I may immediately drop him a text saying, ‘Hey, today was fun.’

If I get a prompt-ish reply, I consider it a job well done. I am actually not someone who will call the other person. My dates are usually timed for lunch or early evening, so I usually make some sort of contact by night.

Rita, 26, doctor

Watch and wait

I think the best thing to do is wait for a day before calling her back. That gives her time and lets her know that you are still thinking about her.

But I feel uncomfortable if the girl calls me first – I feel that would be too forward of the girl.

Njoroge, 31, corporate consultant

No waiting

I actually have never had to call a person back, because I always get called. Usually, the calls come in by the end of the day, but I’ve even had a date call me within half an hour of our dinner concluding!

Mariah, 25, graphic designer

Act cool

I try to act cool about the entire affair. I usually wait for the girl to message or call me, but if she hasn’t for three days, then I drop a text on the third day with a simple ‘Hey’.

As far as dates are concerned, my initial contact is all over a text, except in unforeseen circumstances, like when I’m running late for a meet. It’s only when I get comfortable with a girl that I pick the phone to call her.

Tariq, 29, lawyer

Three-day rule

I was very late to the dating scene, and the first time I went out with someone, I was very nervous about the whole thing. I asked my friends, and they all unanimously said that I had to wait for three days before I call back.

So I did, and the girl was very angry and sarcastically asked me that since I went in for the first stereotype of waiting for three days before I called, whether I was also expecting that things would get heated between us on the third date.

That’s when I realised that there is no such thing as the ‘correct’ amount of time before one calls back. One should just do it when it feels right!

Andrew, 28, marketing manager

Taking it slow

I take it slow and usually wait a couple days to reach out again, allowing myself to get a bit of space. I would drop a text or so, just to say 'Hey' and let him know I’m still thinking about him.

But a lot also depends on what kind of replies I get from him. If I get monosyllables or ‘K' as a reply, I’ll lose interest. I’d also not call him if he floods me with texts. There has to be a happy, comfortable medium.

Jay, 32, teacher

Making the first move

I would never make the first call. I think that’s the guy’s job. I just wish some guys would call me the same day! It cuts out a lot of unnecessary stress about ‘will he, won’t he’.

Diva, 21, student

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Did you learn something new?

Fri, 03/23/2018 - 11:54 pm
What matters to me is my feeling for her and how much the information l have about her, if all these are OK with me then l cannot take even a day

Hey Henry, the way to do this is to be brave and tell the girl you like exactly how you feel. Sometimes, you can consider being introduced to her by a mutual friend. She will never know how you feel until you tell her. Be confident and brave and let her know how you feel, even if she is not interested atleast you will get to know and you can then move on. Wish you well. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date  

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