Kinda sorta safe-ish days
‘Safe days’ – the time frame of your cycle when you won’t get pregnant, even if you have unprotected sex. At least in theory…
My period was late.
Delayed period
I wasn’t too worried yet though. It was only four days late. I had a pretty regular cycle but every so often, my hormones would go crazy and delay my period. I hadn’t been one of those girls who could automatically figure out her cycle length. In fact, each period had been a surprise for the first decade that I had them. I literally had the same reaction every month. I’d have a horrible three days where I’d eat my weight in dessert and snap at friends constantly. Then I’d be minding my own business in the middle of the day and suddenly feel the telltale sudden discharge. I’d make a dash for the closest bathroom, and as always, there was a bloody spot on my panties.
“No wonder I was so annoyed and bloated! Ugh, my period is here!”
This happened every month without fail.
Cycle tracking
After ten years of this charade, I decided to take control of my menstrual life and downloaded a period tracking app. This was extremely helpful to know when to brace myself with tampons and painkillers, but it also taught me something else that I didn’t know at the time. Safe Days. I learnt that these were the days in your period cycle that you couldn’t get pregnant. I was in my early twenties and sexually active and found this information intriguing. I mean, I was having protected sex, but there had been slipups which had led to me taking the morning-after pill. I thought it would be nice to have two weeks a month that that wouldn’t be a concern.
Yes, sexually transmitted diseases were a thing that was equally important to prevent but I was young and stupid. What can I say?
No risk during your period?
So yes, back to my period. Seven days had now gone by and I started to do an analysis of my sexual activities in the past month. I had only had unprotected sex one time. Once. And I had been on my period, so I never took a morning-after pill.
My period tracker had clearly said that during my menstruation, I was definitely not fertile and could not get pregnant.
Three more weeks passed.
I was now extremely tense; my period had never been over a month late. At that point, I started browsing the Internet searching for facts around getting pregnant whilst on one’s period. That’s when I learnt that although unlikely, it was dependent on a woman’s ovulation; the length of time sperm can live in one’s vagina and a number of other factors that could lead to pregnancy.
Panic and uncertainty
I immediately began to panic. Why in the world was I having unprotected sex anyway? Was it really worth the stress and potential baby in my womb? I couldn’t imagine having this conversation with my parents. I didn’t even like the potential father anymore and was planning to break up with him. The only thing left to do was to go to the hospital for a pregnancy test. I wasn’t even trying to take an at-home test since at that point I was fairly certain I’d conceived a period baby and needed a doctor’s confirmation.
Five hours later, I learnt that I wasn’t pregnant.
Thank goodness.
Natural family planning isn’t as sure as one may think. The terms and conditions that may apply are endless. So the only natural family planning I’ve upheld since is: naturally taking my birth control pills and naturally ensuring my partners always have a condom ready.
Do you have questions about birth control methods? Head to our discussion board, where our moderators are waiting to help.
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Recent Comments (10)
Two words. Don’t try, you…
Two words. Don’t try, you can thank me later.
Hey Marie, indeed safe days…
Hey Marie, indeed safe days can be tricky as a method of birth control.
What if someones period is…
What if someones period is always irregular?
Hey there, as you may have…
Hey there, as you may have noticed from the above article, safe days are one of the most unreliable ways to prevent pregnancy. When your safe days are really depends on the length of your cycle. Technically speaking, the first seven days before and after your period, as well as the time of your period, are relatively safe. But, if you have a shorter cycle (shorter than 28 days), or an irregular one, this will vary. Also keep in mind that sperm can survive for up to five days and longer inside the body – so even if you have sex on a ‘safe’ day, you can still get pregnant, because the sperm survived until your ovulation date. So you see, it’s a very inaccurate. And lastly, of course this won’t protect you from STDs. Only condoms will. So we really recommend a more reliable method. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/types-of-birth-control/safe-days-pros-and-cons
What should you do if you…
What should you do if you and your boyfriend don’t like condoms?
Hey Jackie, what are your…
Hey Jackie, what are your reasons for not liking the condom? The condom is a great option since it helps prevent both unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections which other methods will not prevent. There are however other methods to choose from, think about how important it is for you to not get pregnant as you consider an appropriate method for you. Check out the following article for additional information;-
https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/choosing-the-right-birth-control/how-to-choose
https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/types-of-birth-control
Does this mean there are no…
Does this mean there are no safe days at all?
Dear Mary, technically yes…
Dear Mary, technically yes. Safe days are one of the most unreliable ways to prevent pregnancy, and we really don’t recommend it at all. When your safe days are really depends on the length of your cycle. Technically speaking, the first seven days before and after your period, as well as the time of your period, are relatively safe. But, if you have a shorter cycle (shorter than 28 days), or an irregular one, this will vary. Also keep in mind that sperm can survive for up to five days and longer inside the body- so even if you have sex on a ‘safe’ day, you can still get pregnant, because the sperm survived until your ovulation date. So you see, it’s a very inaccurate. And lastly, of course this won’t protect you from STDs. Only condoms will. So we really recommend a more reliable method. Additionally have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/are-safe-days-safe
we’ve tried having a baby, I…
we’ve tried having a baby, I and my wife, for some three months but all in vain. What might be the problem and any recommends. N/B: Her periods are regular and we do have sex at least everyday
Hello Kanono, it can take…
Hello Kanono, it can take upto 12 months for one to get pregnant. Since it has only been three months you are still within the window, it should only be concerning if after 12 months your wife is not pregnant. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/before-pregnancy/getting-pregnant-dos-and-donts