Can I change my gender?
I was born with male body parts but I am attracted to men. I don’t identify as a man. I want to be and live like women. What should I do?
Let’s see what we can do to make the situation better. Give me a smile now…
Sometimes our gender identity is clashing with our body and with ourselves. It’s like one got packaged in someone else’s wrapping paper. The core is perfect, but the packing got confused.
Do you know how many sexual and gender identities there are? Tinder allows you to identify some 49, or 59 different ones. Or maybe 69! You are just a lovely trans gal in this entire lot – not a very big deal, is it?
Everyone recognises us from the way we look and behave to the world outside. Who and what we are inside, only we know.
This is something you must do: look inwards. I needn’t tell you how tough it is, you are living it. Get prepared. Get informed. Begin your research online. Talk to as many people as you can. You’d be surprised to know there are so many folks just like you making their presence felt worldwide. Also, meet other trans people – their stories will clarify many of your own doubts.
Get the info right
I would also suggest contacting a credible support group or NGO that works on issues of gender and sexual identity.
There are so many nuances and so many layers of understanding sexuality. Things vary from individual to individual. So it is important that you get a good understanding of your needs and desires before you decide to make any changes to your body or to the way you live.
For example, do you like cross-dressing? You can like to dress as a woman and yet remain a man.
Or do you want to give up this body? Do you feel that your body is not yours and you’d actually be happier with another body with female parts?
Are you thinking about a transition from male to female? Some of it or all of it? You need to have clear answers to these questions before you make any decision. If you cannot find these answers by yourself, you should speak to a counsellor.
And once you have decided, find the best possible way to move forward. Go to a professional and get through the process very carefully.
If you choose not wanting to transition, I would suggest you live and love your body the way it is.
Get ready for a long haul. The process can take many years – depending on what you decide.
Secondly, acceptance among people takes even longer. This world is a bit too straight. I wish it was more straightforward. People love to claim diversity but they don’t want to make room for it. Choose your allies carefully and at the same time, go out and do your stuff.
Embark on your journey of becoming yourself. Start a Twitter or Instagram handle and share your powerful struggle and story. You will be shocked to know how many other people may well join you because you are not alone! Have fun and be super safe.
All our love to you – keep writing to us.
Do you also feel lost about your identity or orientation? Share it with us via comments or on Facebook. If you have any questions, please visit our discussion forum.
changing gender is’nt da…
changing gender is’nt da solution.. u hav 2 accept whom u re
Constance, we appreciate…
Constance, we appreciate your contribution though for some changing their gender is actually the solution to them.
my name is wendy nkatha.and…
my name is wendy nkatha.and I have a boyfriend he say never came back to see me! what can I do?
Hi Wendy, Did he say why he…
Hi Wendy, Did he say why he won’t come back to see you? Talk to him and find out what led to this decision so that together you can agree on how to address the issue. All the best.