Chlamydia
Chlamydia is an STD caused by bacteria called Chlamydia trachomatis.
Chlamydia can infect your urethra (the tube that leads from your bladder to where your urine comes out), vagina/cervix area, anus, or eyes.
It’s easy to cure. However, if you don’t get treated, it can lead to infertility.
How do you get chlamydia?
You can get chlamydia by having unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex. It can also be passed on from mother to child during childbirth.
How can you protect yourself from getting chlamydia?
1. Always use condoms.
2. Get tested when you have a new sex partner.
It’s possible for your partner to be infected with chlamydia and not know it. So when you have a new sex partner, it’s important for both of you to get tested.
What are the signs that you’ve got chlamydia?
Chlamydia is known as a ‘silent’ disease. This is because up to 80 per cent of women and 50 per cent of men who are infected have no symptoms.
If you do have signs of chlamydia infection, they’ll usually appear within one to three weeks after having unprotected sex. Whether you’ve got symptoms or not, once you’re infected you can still pass chlamydia on to someone else.
Chlamydia symptoms in women
You can get a chlamydia infection from unprotected oral, vaginal, or anal sex.
So where the symptoms show up depends on how you’ve had sex. For example, if you’ve had oral sex, your throat could be infected, and if you’ve had anal sex, you may have anal discharge.
In women, chlamydia symptoms include:
- Increased vaginal discharge
- Yellow, mucous or pus-like vaginal discharge
- Pain when you urinate
- Increased urination
- Pain when you have sex
- Abnormal bleeding, for example between periods or after intercourse
- Lower abdominal pain
- Yellow, mucous, or pus-like anal discharge
If you’ve had unsafe sex or are experiencing one of these symptoms, see your doctor or go to an STD clinic.
If you do nothing about your chlamydia infection, you can become infertile. Chlamydia can spread to your fallopian tubes and block them. If your fallopian tubes become blocked, your eggs can’t travel to your womb, so it becomes difficult or impossible to become pregnant.
If you’re pregnant and infected with chlamydia, you’re more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy, when the baby develops outside of the womb. Also, you can pass on the infection to your baby during the birth.
Chlamydia symptoms in men
Roughly half of all men infected with chlamydia don’t have any symptoms.
Where the symptoms show up if you do get them depends on how you’ve had sex. Chlamydia can infect your throat, urethra (tube where urine comes from), and anus. It can spread to your testicles too.
Roughly half of all men infected with chlamydia don’t have any symptoms.
Where the symptoms show up if you do get them depends on how you’ve had sex. Chlamydia can infect your throat, urethra (tube where urine comes from), and anus. It can spread to your testicles too.
In men, chlamydia symptoms include:
- White/cloudy or watery penis discharge
- Burning and itching sensation around the opening of the penis
- Pain when you urinate
- Pain or swelling in the testicles
- Yellowish or pus-like anal discharge
How to get tested for chlamydia?
In women, a swab is inserted into the vagina and a sample is taken from the cervix (the neck of the womb, at the end of the vagina). The sample is then tested for Chlamydia.
In men, chlamydia can be tested for in two ways. You can give a urine sample to be tested for the STD. If you have discharge from your penis, a swab may be taken from your urethra (the hole where you urinate from) and tested for chlamydia.
How can you get rid of chlamydia?
Chlamydia is easy to cure with a course of antibiotics – single dose of azithromycin or a week’s course of doxycycline (twice daily).
love iz lyke drama play every
love iz lyke drama play every one must take part in a action.
Hi there,
Hi there,
That’s true. But ideally, you shouldn’t have to play any roles at all!
Am dating a guy who has
Am dating a guy who has promised to marry before any sexual intercourse., but the issue is, i stil enjoy having sex with my ex which is making me confused as to wheda i shud forget the guy am dating nd come back to my ex-guy
Hi Jenny,
Hi Jenny,
I hope you realize that what you are doing is cheating and that you are not being honest with the guy, He thinks you are faithful and that you haven’t had sex before (whether that should be important or not is another question). And you are sleeping with someone else behind his back! If he did that to you, what would you do? You need to decide what you want, instead of playing games with the guy.
Any ding u do stupit w il
Any ding u do stupit w il bst on u in the near future,u dn knw wat multple partns brngz am gld 4 strng un eary journy 2d grve.
That’s putting it bluntly…
That’s putting it bluntly…
love is 2 b played by both
love is 2 b played by both parties….communication is key even if yu fl like hutaki kucheki yo partner jst make a point n communicate no matter wot cz communication helps in understandin each athas worlds
You are absolutely right,
You are absolutely right, Wanjy.
ujh
ujh
Is that a sign of agreement :
Is that a sign of agreement :-)?
How can i forget my ex irlly
How can i forget my ex irlly need to
Hi Isaack,
Hi Isaack,
check out this article, it may help you:
http://lovematters.co.ke/news/getting-over-your-ex-dos-and-donts
am datn a guy he has bn xo
am datn a guy he has bn xo insecure with me n 4 nw hez avoidn me in al mean i.e hez nt replyn my txtz nor answern my kalz n wen we mit he doent want we discus about it hez alwayz clamn 2 be busy.plz nid ua advc
Hi Mary,
Hi Mary,
talk to him about it. If he’s insecure, you need to find ways that will make him feel more secure. Talk about your options, and see what works best for him!
hi love matters?.av dated 3
hi love matters?.av dated 3 guys in ma laif n ths age thg seems 2 giv me problems.i neva had any problems with my 1st bf bt wit my 2nd bf,he cud tel me tht som of his frends kip telin him am mch older thn him while th fact is,he was 4years older thn me n wit my 3rd bf, we had bin ok until som days bak wen we wo jokin n he brought out th isue claiming tht am older thn hm while in th real sense,he is a year nd a half older thn me.advice me on hw r cope wit ths prblm cz it realy pises me off esp…..
nw tht am pg 4 him n he has
nw tht am pg 4 him n he has also introduced me 2 his family n agen i lov hm alot.cn th rsn b bcz am a born shagz n they r maborn town cz my 1st bf is a was a born shagz n i neva had any prblm wit him yet awa age difrenc was 2.
Hi Shiliaz,
Hi Shiliaz,
why is it bothering you so much? And even if you were older, why would it better? Your age doesn’t change anything about the person you are!
Don’t let it bother you, let it go!
how will I maintain long
how will I maintain long relationship bcoz it seem we end up quarreling and break up now and then, I love her and am afraid of losing her
Hi Omosh,
Hi Omosh,
you need to talk to your partner. Find out what is going wrong with your relationship, and see if you can find solutions to the problem together. Good luck!
I feel to sex but i fear pain
I feel to sex but i fear pain
It doesn’t have to be painful
It doesn’t have to be painful, Ann. Have a look here: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts
Hae love matters,my guy went
Hae love matters,my guy went to work a place not far from where I live and he no longer has time for me like before and whenever I ask about it he always says that he has been having many meetings to atyend might he be cheating on me?
Hi Lilliana,
Hi Lilliana,
it does sound a bit fishy.
Try to talk to him again, and make him realize what it makes you feel like when he is acting like this.
‘Just asking if ur bro ex gf
‘Just asking if ur bro ex gf fall in love wid yu how should yu go about it?
Hi Shem,
Hi Shem,
have a look at this: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/should-i-sleep-my-bros-ex
hi love matters,i`ve bn in 4
hi love matters,i`ve bn in 4 relationships in a period of 8 months…is it normal
Hi Maria,
Hi Maria,
what do you think is wrong with your relationship?
Hv been in a r/shp for a year
Hv been in a r/shp for a year.Hv come to realize that ma bf stil communicates wth his X.I also noticed dat he invites her in her house weneva am nt around.Wen i askd hm,said dat nothn in btwn thm bt onli fredshp.I found msgs on his fb wall dat he adresses her as ‘sweetie,ma love’ n telln her hw mch he misses her.He denied to hv feelings for her n dat he want to marry me nt her.His mother knows me,he hs even one day invited mi to their chch.Is thea any chance dat thei will get back together in future?..Cn thei be in the house n alone fail to play sex?pls help cz i need to make a gud decision abt ma life.I knw leaving hm wil gv mi pain n heartbreaks bt its gud to suffer nao n prevent regrets in future.
Lilly,
Lilly,
have an honest conversation about this with him. Tell him how it hurts you, and tell him that you need to come to a solution that doesn’t hurt you anymore.
It will take strength, but you will get there. Good luck!
Thanx guys for ua piece of
Thanx guys for ua piece of advice.
U r of much help esp to us young kenyans who dont knw hw to hurdle prblms in r/shps.I once say thankyou!
Thank you so much, Lilly!
Thank you so much, Lilly!
i ave prblm wid ma gal i want
i ave prblm wid ma gal i want 2 mve on wat cn i do.hlp plz
Njosh,
Njosh,
Did you break up with her or are you still together?
hi hv been dating this guy 4
hi hv been dating this guy 4 8months now bt wenever he wants to make love wt me itz the time he kols day and nty.wat shud i kol this love or sex desires?
Judy,
Judy,
How does he treat you the rest of the time?
hi i have been dating this
hi i have been dating this guy for a month now n jus some days back a girl calls me claiming she is the girlfriend n later contradicts herself saying they are actually married for one year now and live together but all i know is the guy lives alone and when i confront him on the issue he explains that he never knew about it actually and never knew she had a crash on him but the lady continues nagging me telling me that the guy said he is only after my prestige but after sometime she becomes silent..the guy claims he still loves me n doesnt wanna lose me n all that is pure lies…i still love the guy but am kinda insecure…should i still trust him n continue loving him?
That’s a tricky situation,
That’s a tricky situation, Megan.
To be honest, do trust either one of them just yet. Can you find someone who knows anything about him or her? Do you have any mutual friends you could ask if they know anything about the claims?
Try to find out as much as you can and take it from there.
hae’,,how do i kip rlshp
hae’,,how do i kip rlshp strng coz i just lose intrest so quickly n fall out of lov so quck how does it work
Sam,
Sam,
generally, honesty and good communication are the key to a good relationship.
am in a rltnshp n my gal
am in a rltnshp n my gal shows no affection to mi.she only tells mi sth sweet when she wnts money.is she for real or not?
Wanda,
Wanda,
that does sound a bit fishy.
How long have you been together? do you make plans for the future? Did she introduce you to her friends?
three years now n she always
three years now n she always tell soon she will introduce me but not even her friends
Wanda,
Wanda,
that is a bit fishy… Have you ever asked her about this? What does she have to say?
i have been datin…this guy
i have been datin…this guy like 4 months now mostly he tend not to be there since he has school work n after that sent to work n also have sone issues with the dad…the thng z after we disagreed on 31 from there he changed alot…he started sayin he needs space ..,i told him amnt for that we try n lets thngs work…he said okay …wen i say i love him he only says that he treasures n respects me ….u feel so bad cause he has changed am tryin my all …coz realy love him n i dont want to let go…he says wen we tlk he real wants that feelin of freedom ….n we are stillin tryin to make thngs work …it real hurts actualy i wish i could get help i don want to let go….
i have been datin…this guy
i have been datin…this guy like 4 months now mostly he tend not to be there since he has school work n after that sent to work n also have sone issues with the dad…the thng z after we disagreed on 31 from there he changed alot…he started sayin he needs space ..,i told him amnt for that we try n lets thngs work…he said okay …wen i say i love him he only says that he treasures n respects me ….u feel so bad cause he has changed am tryin my all …coz realy love him n i dont want to let go…he says wen we tlk he real wants that feelin of freedom ….n we are stillin tryin to make thngs work …it real hurts actualy i wish i could get help i don want to let go….
Nyambura,
Nyambura,
pole sana. It sounds like you need to accept the idea that this relationship is not going to work out.
Don’t blame yourself. It will hurt and continue to hurt, but you will come out a stronger person.
in love bracket never hold
in love bracket never hold the trust so much cos at the end you wont be in a position to stand the pain alone.
Thanks for sharing your story
Thanks for sharing your story, Sasha.
Av bin dating a guy kila tym
Av bin dating a guy kila tym anajam,av bin wit him ad only refusng to slip wit him ikaleta amekimia,nkikol hashiki nkitxt hajibu,
Pole sana, Ruth.
Pole sana, Ruth.
It sounds like he was in mostly for sex.
that’s very true coz my guy
that’s very true coz my guy always complain whenever I chat or recive calls from male friends and even goes to that point of abusing them
Becky,
Becky,
have a talk with him. Ask him why he is jealous, and why he is feeling so insecure. See if he can come up with any ideas how you can make him feel less insecure and jealous.
hi there am dating a girl for
hi there am dating a girl for like one year n she found some txts on my phone me n another chiq sex chatting. Honestly i havent had sex wth that chiq but she doesnt want to believe me,,, she really got mad n furious with me av tried talking to her but all i do is hurt her more…i really love her n i dont want to loose her…pliz help
Simon,
Simon,
you need to apologize. You hurt your girlfriend and she feels betrayed. In her books, you cheated on her, and it will be difficult to regain trust.
Give her some time, and apologize.
I av bin in a reltionship
I av bin in a reltionship with this guy for two yias n am stil a virgin we ve bin kippin it so that we can get married ivo bt he suddenly changed no communication if i dont txt him he wont txt me atyms telin mi i giv him a break he gets angry jz from small mistakes then he says fillings ziliisha mpaka zero i give him tym aone if zitarudi bt i jz let him go did i mek a right decision
Shrniz,
Shrniz,
as unfair and painful as it may be, you might have made the right decision. It seems like he wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore.
If you can, have a final talk with him to see if this is really what is going on. Good luck!
To Ruth i say all he wantd
To Ruth i say all he wantd was to enjoy wid u bt he nva wanted to share wid u da future
Thank you for your input!
Thank you for your input!
Shrniz
Shrniz
it seems he dont Want to b with u any more bt just gve tym it may hapen dat he wl knw dat ur suffering Nd he wl b bak
Thank you for your input!
Thank you for your input!
plix.,i have been in reashp 4
plix.,i have been in reashp 4 3yrs.,then we marry.we have tried 2 get a baby no results , what’s is ploblem.
Lesh,
Lesh,
have you been trying to have a baby all this time? If you have been trying for three years, it would be best for you and your partner to see a doctor.
I you have been trying for less time, make sure that you try to figure out when you are ovulating, and have sex around that time.
I was in a relationship
I was in a relationship before and it lasted two years, nowadays its not the same. After sex, i feel the relationship is not fulfilling, its happening with every girl. I cant get into a stable relationship. After sex I get fed up and move to the next and the same things happens!!!!!
Smith,
Smith,
how soon into the relationship are you having sex?
hi…hav been dating this guy
hi…hav been dating this guy fo almost a yr now…2months ago we started urguing, blaming each other for anything n everythng..we then decided to handle our issues in a better way buh ever since, i hav changed…i knw this coz i find it hard to tell him i love himn rarely text back n even ignore his calls… am not even sure i love him..buh i trust him n he has never cheated on me..plz tell me wats wrong with me??? n i don wana loose him buh i cant tell him exactly wat i tell u now
Nikki,
Nikki,
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you.
But you need to talk to your boyfriend, and both of you need to find out if you are still invested in this relationship.
hi lov matters i av a gal wu
hi lov matters i av a gal wu wish 2 av sex wit mi btw am nt intrested wat shld i 2??
Hilash,
Hilash,
sex is about two people.
You need to talk to her and explain that at the moment, sex isn’t on your radar. Maybe you can find things you can do together that aren’t intercourse, like masturbating each other.
I ve been I a relationship
I ve been I a relationship for over five yrs n frm e 3-5yr,we ve actually been in a distant rltn.we had been copx bt now it seems Lyk e distance is pullx us away frm each oder.e communication btw us is no longer frequent n even if it dose,we always end up fightx via fone n am gettx tired of all dis.Wat could possibly be our problem?cuz I ve dis guy so much bt I smtimes wonder if it is reciprocal.
Clarisse,
Clarisse,
have you discussed this with your partner? What does he think?
hey,I wanna date again after
hey,I wanna date again after a bad breakup ,I just can’t trust any lady around me after knowing that I was used and lied too. I don’t where to start again.
Kingi,
Kingi,
take your time. The more time you take, and the better you get to know a lady before you start dating, the easier it will be to gain trust. But don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen at once- it takes time to get over a disappointment!
thea s thz gal i av had a
thea s thz gal i av had a crush on,and ts lyk i have fallen in love with ha bt da problem s dat she keeps telling me she is engaged yet i dont thnk she has a bf,i av tried seducing ha bt all in vain nd ts lyk am giving up on ha wot can i do?
Kevin,
Kevin,
talk to her. Ask her what the deal is with her bf and see what she has to say. But maybe she is just not interested in you? If that’s the case, give her space.
Hae guys i rily appreciate
Hae guys i rily appreciate the work you doing for us. Av been in a rltnship for a year now n i just dont knw how to open up to my guy. He rily luvs me n i luv him just as much. I neva want to loose him but its like hes giving up on me. He has a bad temper n sometyms i just fear opening up av promised to impruv on it but i just dont knw how to do it. We had a fight recently on the sem issue still n he says hes confused he doesnt knw if he can trust me on it again n i think something must be wrong with me. Hes not talking n it hurts me alot. Am rily stressed I need ua help.
VK,
VK,
do you mean opening up like sharing thoughts and emotions and things like this?
If you have a hard time saying them out loud to his face, could you try writing them to him in letters?
Like even trying to share my
Like even trying to share my thoughts. There have been instances where he gave me cold responses n that turned me off. I must weigh n think about wat I want to tell him if I feel the response wont be gud then I just let it pass. At the moment he is so cold towards me the other day I tried to open up n it ended in a mess. He never talks n if I initiate a conversation the way hes replyin my texts tells me that hes so much upset with me. Av apologised av tried to convince him otherwise but nothing seems to be working. I honestly love this guy I can do anything to see that our relationship works but the pain av been undergoing for the past week will make me give up on everything. He cant understand that we are different unlike him wen I hav an issue I cant express it right away I take time to compose myself b4 I can let it out. My friends have adviced me to stay away and I have honestly tried but its so hard for me am really hurting. At one point I felt so confident about this relationship and now seeing everything fall apart is so harsh to my feelings. I cant help the tears from flowing my heart is in great pain. Thanx for your advice once again.
VK,
VK,
try to talk to him about this. He also needs to get more understanding and more open. Maybe both of you need to work on this!
When a man loves you he will
When a man loves you he will make time to listen and communicate with you. It shouldn’t be hard for your parter to listen to you and your little rants ideas and what you like. That’s what a realtionship is for… find a person who will always listen and get to know you (friend) laugh and know when you call and he doesn’t pick up its because he is legitimately busy, not one who will make you wonder if he’s ignoring you or if your a bother but because you know you phone call is a priority. But when you feel like your no 2 or there are more important things he’s doing and use that as a consolation for when he does respond that one hi text you feel oh so lucky and fall into the trap thinking he loves you. Then a day later after he didn’t text you you start wondering what’s wrong is it me, did I do something? No it SHOULDN’T be like that means you have put your happiness in someone’s hand, and that’s called love. It’s important to entrust it with someone who will cherish it and care for it. That’s when you need to differnciate between the right one. When you achieve that no matter how many times you try you are able to be happy regardless until the day you actually stop trying and find the right one. Happiness is the key which comes from simply loving your self and being true to who you are. Coming from a girl who did not let a MAN ruin her life. I deciede to step aside and evaluate the situation and talked about it researched about till I thought I was losing my mind. That’s when I realised if I’m thinking I’m going crazy what do other people see and when that happened I knew I was sane enough to know better. I don’t care how obsessed I looked but I learned my lesson. Coming out stronger and happier. I hope this helps. It helped me talk about it.
hv bin in a relationship 4
hv bin in a relationship 4 3yrs en we hv never have sex wid him bur we do meet talk en even do kissing,,,in our conversations he has never mentioned abt sex.,en smtyms he kips his phon off en claims dat it's nt functions,,,does it mean dat he don't hv sexual desires??
Carol,
Carol,
have you ever started the conversation about sex? What has he said?
av been datn a guy 4 about
av been datn a guy 4 about two months bt thz is the second tyme hes behaving lyk hes no intrest I love him n I feel he does too wat shld I do? wat I dnt understand is y after some tyme hes so wiyerd n sometymes so nc? I ned to knw if he realy loves me bt am running out of tips to do tht I dnt wana face hm n ask hm if he really loves me…………
Daisy,
Daisy,
have you talked to him about it? What does he say?
av bin in a relationship 4
av bin in a relationship 4 4yrs n am indylema cz wen i tell him 2go kwetu always say sina doh bt kwao thy knw mi lyk am his wyf bt i didn’t rcongnic maself as a wyf cz he don’t pay attention 2 mi n h don’t want mi 2 go out or 2 make frnds even 2 work, r we end up 2 gther in future? am confused wat he want n hr is not open.
Anitah,
Anitah,
Have you ever talked to him about this?
Material oriented love and
Material oriented love and economic deviation has done more harm in terms of deshaping modern families.
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
have bn dating this guy for
have bn dating this guy for 3yrs now, just full of issues. we ve bn solving issues of cheatng wth diffrent girls aftr evry 3 months. i really love him bt this cases are becomng part of the relationship. i trust him no more bt i cant let him go. my dilema is, i also got engaged to another guy 3mnths ago, this guy is so gud tht i dont have to feel insecure, i dont hv to doubt him en he loves me so much. i feel guilty that am playng them bt my new guy knows evrythng abt the other one en wants me to do away wth him. i love both en not ready to drop any, what can i do?
Yvonne,
Yvonne,
think about what you want and what is best for you and make your decision based on that.
Am in love with a gyal and
Am in love with a gyal and now am working far away from where I used to live and so icant see her most of my tym plz how should I make my relationship last long
Dennis,
Dennis,
check out all our articles on long-distance relationships!
I ve been in relation ship bt
I ve been in relation ship bt I have failed to ask him for support or care as u know ladies wants bt he can never remind himself…wat can I do to gt his care without him failing or having a bad attitude.
Hi Bright, all you need to do
Hi Bright, all you need to do is talk to him. Communication is the only way you can get to understand each other.
I hav a date whom I love so
I hav a date whom I love so much, d first day we met, we had sex and nw, he act as if he doesn’t luv me, wen Eva we Ave issues, he say he doesn’t want the relationship again n I’ll cry pleading he shld not let go of me n along d line he’ll 4giv me. Bt he doesn’t play wit me much, he cuddles me evry night bt he does not express his feelings towards me, he has never told me hw he feels abt me bt most time I feel he doesn’t luv me, bt I luv him so much, i dnt knw wat to do. Wen Eva we make luv, I do ask him if he luvs me, he’ll say he do luv me bt I always get him upset den I’ll apologize, bt he does not’t show his luv evn in d public, he does nt introduce me to his frnds, I dnt knw his plan. Am so confuse.
Hi Ruth sorry that you are in
Hi Ruth sorry that you are in that situation. This could be hard to hear but from what you have explains it seems he does not love you and does not feel the same as you do about the relationship. You need to take time to decide if that is the kind of relationship you would like to be in. Sometimes we can stick in relationships that are not healthy and end up being hurt all the time. Hope you make the right choice.
Am here again. Tnx u, I saw
Am here again. Tnx u, I saw ur response. Recently, I asked to walk out of d relationship bt he refused, saying he’s goin tru stress dat’s y. He calls me frm Time to time to knw hw I am, bt I dnt feel dis connection. He told me he cares abt me n dat he wants to settle dwn bt I dnt nt knw if he’s gonna settle wit me. I think he needs space.
Hi Ruth, thanks for writing
Hi Ruth, thanks for writing back. When one wants to break up is a choice you make on your own. You don’t need him or anyone else to agree with you because that is a choice that you have made. Here is an article that can help https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/breaking-up .
I have hard time in letting
I have hard time in letting go.
I got in love with a certain gal and had issues 6 months ago. Apparently she seems to have moved on but I still find myself can’t forget about her. With long distance between I only text and call her mostly of which she hardly respond.
Please help!
Hi Lawi, sorry to hear about
Hi Lawi, sorry to hear about your break up.
Do you want help getting back with her or getting over her?
I like it
I like it
We are glad you like it Kevin
We are glad you like it Kevin.
this is really good and am
this is really good and am getting strong to strengtheningi my relationship
R2aaQ
Thanks a lot for the feed
Thanks a lot for the feed back. Glad you like it.
I’m in a relationship for
I’m in a relationship for about 7yrs an we were like the best couples ever but we past many difficult things an I surfa a lot about him..all of my familys abandon me because of him but life was going on till my family appreciate him back then he travel to Europe ehen he when to Europe after 4 months life is totally change on his inside I always try to please him but nothing works, an he is the only man I want to be with..so what do I do
Hi Chatt,
Hi Chatt,
It sounds as though you are having a problem with long distance relationship. Long-distance relationships mean that the two of you aren’t living together because you have to be in different places. This means you can’t see each other so often. If you live in Nairobi and your partner lives in Kisumu, for example, you’re in a long-distance relationship.
Relationships can go long distance for many reasons. It could be because your partner has found a new job in a different city or country or because you’ve started studying at a university far from home.
Today, long-distance relationships are becoming more common because of modern forms of communication. Emails, chats, video chats and social media make it much easier for people to stay in touch. You can even have cybersex with your partner to keep the spark alive while you’re apart.
Before you go long-distance, it might be a good idea to think about how your relationship will change. For one thing, there’ll be long stretches with no kissing or holding hands or sex. You won’t get to see and talk to each other in person for long periods of time.
If you can, try it for a while and see how it works out before you make a serious commitment.
Help a soul.
Help a soul.
I was in a serious relationship with my ex girlfriend and we have a child out of wedlock, we separated because she stole and lied against me. Now she’s seriously pleading, disturbing and telling my friends and family to forgive and apologize to me and accept her back and knowing fully well that I’m already dating and my marriage ceremony is on January, I was raised by my step mum and it wasn’t easy @all so I don’t want my son to suffer same way but I hate her cuz of what she did to me and I’m already in a relationship. I’m confused. Need urgent advice please
Elemax,
Elemax,
it sounds as though your min is already made up. If you have decided to move on and get married then you should continue as you want. If your current relationship is working well, why would you want to change it?
hello,I have been in a
hello,I have been in a relationship for four years then he went abroad to further his studies.for the first 3months we communicated well then communication became poor .we had an argument which we solved and I thought it was alright,but when I texted him he wasn’t interested in replying,would reply short boring msgs.I was fed up and decided to go on with my life.after 2months he called telling me that let’s be good friends and he will never forget me.what does that mean?
Hi Shyla, sorry that your
Hi Shyla, sorry that your relationship ended.
You should talk to I’m and find out what it is he means by you being friends and what it entails.
He is tired of you
He is tired of you
Thanks for your input Abu.
Thanks for your input Abu.
I am in a relationship with
I am in a relationship with an Indian man. I love him and he loves me so much. I stay at home with relatives and he works in about 120 miles away. I have never cheated on him and neither have I ever thought of cheating on him. He asked me for my relative’s phone numbers and I gave them to him and once in a while he would call them sometime and talk to them.
There is this one problem he has for always thinking that I cheat on him. We talk more than 5times a day and I tell him my what I want to do. But when he calls and I miss his phone call, he will call me and abuses me using heavy words and I can’t say here. I love him so much and he is the only one in my life. But I do not want to be treated like this anymore
Love matters, what should I do?
Reply
Hi Brenda,
Hi Brenda,
That is a very difficult position to be in. The issue is that he has trust issues and unfortunately you cannot do anything to change that for him, he can only work on that himself.
No one deserves to be in a relationship that is abusive and they are no happy in.
Take time to think and decide if you still want to be in the relationship. Its a decision only you can make regardless of how difficult it sounds.
Get more insight from this article https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/abusive-relationships .
I have been dating a girl
I have been dating a girl who ever asking fo my financial suport yet am nt able to provide bcause am still studying n jobless, this really discourages me to continue with this relationship, yet we love each other so much, what should i do?
Hi Rafa,
Hi Rafa,
If you love each other the best thing would be to talk about it and come to an understanding. Dialogue is a good way of bringing understanding in a conflict.
Keep loving her love matters.
Keep loving her love matters. One day money will come and do not forget her when that money will come
Thanks for you input Harmony.
Thanks for you input Harmony.
Am in a relationship since
Am in a relationship since 2012,I loved a a girl while in school till now but last month she aborted my child simply bcoz she asked me for money to abort but i refused to send bcoz it didnt want that to happen,she told me later she removed it ,there by she insult me saying ,”I have many friends who can help me now av aborted stay your own life” Now is asking for forgiveness what should I do to her,I really loved her but what she told me astonished my heart to an extend my health. I need help……..?
Hi,
Hi,
Sorry for going through that. It sounds like you need time to think about it so that you are able to decide what you want.
Weight the pro and cons of every decision and decide what you feel is best for you.
Thanx I need help I av been
Thanx I need help I av been in love for 3yrs now but this guy I love so much at fort was my best friend but late we felt in love we seemed normal but I am suffering becoz he is one guy hu is a perfectionist and doesn’t tolerate mistakes. He does
Thanks for sharing that with
Thanks for sharing that with us Immy. But dating is al about getting to know each other and how to be with each other. All the best to both of you.
Am married for 4yrs now. My
Am married for 4yrs now. My hubbie is a drunkard n always cheating on me.why I so.one day I found naked pictures of another woman on his phone n when I ask he denied it.n every weekend he sleeps out n come home inthe morning,since we got married hehas cheated on me more than 3times.now the family is fighting me coz my hubbies thinks that I said something about their family.now he team up with them.what can I do about it.
Hi Broos,
Hi Broos,
sorry that you going through that.
Just to be clear, are you asking help about the cheating or the family fights?
Meanwhile check out this article to learn more on cheating https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/cheating .
Hi iam 17years old, I have a
Hi iam 17years old, I have a boy friend who is joining university soon and all of us want to become doctors but the problem is he has never told me that he loves me and each and every time I ask he, he says just know I’m not avoiding you!_what should I do???
Hi Hannah,
Hi Hannah,
It difficult for some people to express their emotions. You know your partner well and you know the kind of person he is. All you can do is to keep talking. If he is loving in his actions that is good enough even though the assurance of hearing he words is good.
Check out this article to learn more https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/expressing-emotion .
Maybe he loves you but he don
Maybe he loves you but he don’t want to say it out.sometimes people don’t say what is in their hearts to others to avoid proud
Hi Hannah,
Hi Hannah,
Its one thing for someone to tell you they love you and its another to show you love. You should look at his actions and if he treats you with love then you will know how he truly feels.
I ave been in a relationship
I ave been in a relationship for good 4 yrs now. We also love each other very much. But the problem and is my girlfriend and I sometimes fail to understand each other which inturn leads to serious argument.
I feel she’s the best I can ever stay without a for the rest of my life.
She doesn’t cheat on me nor do I cheat on her.
Plse I need your advice.
Almost every couple fights
Almost every couple fights sometimes. While rows are normal in a relationship, it’s a good idea to think about what might be causing them.
Find out more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/fights-relationships .
hi,am 21yrs old and have been
hi,am 21yrs old and have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years.i have a 3yrs old daughter who has jst started nursery school…..
my wife left for her home during chrismass holiday failing to come back claiming dat she found a job…..
could it be a reason that i dont hav a job for doing ths…..
Hi
Hi
What do you feel is the reason you do not have a job and whats the relationship of that with your wife leaving?
I have a boyfriend we have
I have a boyfriend we have been together for five months now but I feel like he is not really into the relationship….he says he’s different and romance is not his thing…he rarely communicates where he is,he rarely texts or calls am always the one initiating conversations he says he loves me but keeps telling me I deserve better and he thinks I love him more than he loves me…I really love the guy and I want to save this relationship…please help me..
Hi Alice,
Hi Alice,
this maybe difficult to hear but you cannot force someone to be in a relationship with you if they are not willing or do not love you. it sounds like your boyfriend is not interested in the relationship. As much as you love him it might be time for you to actually start considering what he’s trying to tell you.
Take time and think about that then make a decision.
Hello, I have been in a
Hello, I have been in a relationship with my girl friend for now 5years. I love her sooooo much but she atmost times behaves so secretive hence doing most of her issues behind my back. I really feel she doesn’t trust me. I need some help please.
Hi LJ, 5 years is a long time
Hi LJ, 5 years is a long time. It means you know your partner well enough. Long-term relationships sometimes phase out because both partners have outgrown each other – people change over time, and perhaps you’ve both been moving in different directions. You might realise that the two of you have different ideas about life and what you want from the relationship.
This could be because you haven’t really talked to each other for a long time. Working on your communication could help bring you back together.
HI , I HAVE BEEN with my boy
HI , I HAVE BEEN with my boy friend for 4 years now but in our fourth year i noticed change in behavior and tried talking about it but he was just over reacting, then six months later found him cheating with a girl in his house, i picked my things and left him , he came back begging then i i had to forgive him after 4 months of us being apart . but this year its like hi doing the same thing he doesnt even communicate with me even though i go to his house we jst end up quarreling am actually hurting coz i think his having an afair pliz advise me
Finding out that your partner
Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.
But don’t blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.
Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.
I have been in relationship
I have been in relationship with ma girl for more than 4 years bt she just got maried without saying bye to me or sent any mesage to me she just lost i wondert if there will be other girl that wont play the same game to me
Hi There,
Hi There,
Sorry that that happened to you. There is always someone for everyone. You just need to give yourself time to heal an move on so that you can be able to take up another relationship.
Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/after-the-break-up .
Sorry that you had to go
Sorry that you had to go through that. You need to take time to heal and reflect. The truth is people are different and therefore you will find someone that suites you and loves you as much as you love them. There is always someone for everyone.
I am in a rlnship for the
I am in a rlnship for the last 3 yrs and we got a kid 1 yr old now.he works in a place far from where I study…my partner loves his kid so much calling her most th tym…bt a times he doesn’t communicate with us for a week. I feel insecure coz we don’t meet until th end of the semester he haven’t introduce me to his family bt he has introduced me to his friends… sometimes we quarrel over some argument bt resume to our normal rlnship after some time abt 3 days…I love him so much bt he doesn’t mention a word “I love you”to me bt when I ask him he says he do….sometimes I feel he got an affair with someone else when he doesn’t communicate for a week… please help how do I know he doesn’t cheat on me?
av been in a r/ship with a
av been in a r/ship with a guy whom i loved so much for 3 1/2 years now but he came the other day n told mi dat his plans were to move further,become stable n since we r of the same age by the time he will plan 2 marry me he feels dat he will have put mi for long..what can i do??am really confused
Hi Redempter,
Hi Redempter,
This might be difficult to hear but it sounds as though your boyfriend is breaking up with you. He feels that he’s not ready for marriage right now and by the time he will be you will not be in the right age for him.
Break ups are never easy for anyone. Three years is a long time to invest in a relationship. Take time and reflect on it . it will not be easy but you can be able to move on past this.
Find out more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/after-the-break-up .
Iam 22 years in love with a
Iam 22 years in love with a guy for 1year but he tries to pretend that he loves me but doesnt give me money unless i visit him , am i on the right track?
Hi Anisha,
Hi Anisha,
It sounds as though you and your partner have not talked about your expectations of each other. It would be important to take that step so that you are both clear on what to expect from each other.
I’m so interested to go
I’m so interested to go through
Would you mind explaining
Would you mind explaining more on that Fred?
A nice educative session I…
A nice educative session I’ve had. Thanks so much.
So powerful… Love it
So powerful… Love it
My nuu has always had a bad…
My nuu has always had a bad smell. I have tried to use salty water and detol to clean but it is still there. is this a sign of STI?
Hello there, first what you…
Hello there, first what you are doing could be the cause of constant bad smell you are experiencing, remember vagina is self cleaning and therefore it does not need harsh cleaning products like dettol. Perhaps you may need to consider changing your hygiene measures and see if there will be a change. Check out these two articles for more information on genital hygiene: https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/genital-hygiene-dos-and-donts; https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/female-body/8-tips-to-keep-your-vagina-happy-and-healthy
Secondly, if you are experiencing other signs other than bad smell, like abnormal discharge, burning sensation while urinating or itchness you may consider seeking medical attention for proper diagnosis and treatment.
Am married for one year now…
Am married for one year now,end sometimes my husband seems to b more less concerned with me,he Neva have time with me,all he’s cornced to is work,at night he’s busy with his phone end he doesn’t want to b disturbed, what shud I do
Hey Lupita, have you talked…
Hey Lupita, have you talked with him about this? A good place to start is to talk with him about what you have observed and how it is affecting you and your relationship. Find a good time to have this conversation with your husband so that together you can find a solution. Check out the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner
IF U LOV HER ASK HER TO…
IF U LOV HER ASK HER TO MARRY U AD SEE IF SHE WILL REFUSE
Hey Gift, we appreciate your…
Hey Gift, we appreciate your contribution. However, a person maybe in-love but not ready to get married for reason of their priorities at the time.