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Back to zero: then he told me I had HIV

Jenn had everything going for her – until she placed too much faith in the wrong person. And she only had a handful of people she could count on.

It can’t happen to me

‘There are some things that I never thought would happen to me. I mean, I’ve always been a careful person, bordering on obsessive-compulsive even. Everything I ever did was well thought out, from my choice in a partner to who my friends were.

So when I was told my boyfriend of two years was unfaithful to me, I refused to believe it. When he said that we should stop using condoms, I never asked why. I trusted this man with my life. I did everything that was expected of me as a girlfriend, so it was only fair that he reciprocates, right?

‘Then I started to get sick. At first, I thought it was nothing: nausea, persistent coughing… Nothing I hadn’t gone through before: I went to the chemist each time, bought something over the counter. Problem solved. But this time I never got better, and I realised I had to see a doctor. So I did. He said I would need to have blood work done, and I assumed it was to be for the persistent sickness. I was not prepared for what the doctor would tell me.’

Bad decisions

‘He walked into the room with the results and I immediately knew there was a problem. He’s been treating me since forever, after all.

When he told me I had HIV, I went numb.

I can’t remember anything he said to me after that. All that ran through my mind was how could this happen? I only slept with one person… and then it hit me. My naivety had cost me dearly.

‘When I confronted my boyfriend, I expected to be crying, to be broken. I wasn’t. As I sat listening to this person lie and lie again about how sorry he was, this person I had once trusted with my life, this person who had betrayed me completely and changed my life forever… I wish I had wanted to hit him, to hurt him and to make him pay, but there was nothing but apathy. I just wanted to be done with him.’

Starting again

‘It was really bad in the beginning, and I got really sick. I got breakouts on my skin, and people started to talk. What really bothered me was the people who I considered my closest friends and how they changed.

All of a sudden they wouldn’t hang out with me, as if I was contagious.

These were people in university, people who should’ve known better… People I loved. How could I have been so blind to how fickle they were?

‘I thought the hardest part about having HIV would be the health aspect: watching what I eat, the medicine, the check-ups, the discipline, and change of lifestyle.

As difficult as that has been, it doesn’t come close to the emotional recovery I had to make. Forgiving myself for trusting a man who left me in this situation, realising that the people I thought were my friends were gone.

I had been pegged back to zero, literally having to start again in almost every aspect of life. Thankfully I have a support system around me, albeit a smaller one, and I’ve learnt from my mistakes.
The second time will be the charm.
 

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Recent Comments (45)

  1. soo sad indeed that somebody
    soo sad indeed that somebody u trust soo much is rthe on who hurts u irreversibly. anyway juzz take a heart

    1. Thanks for your kind words!
      Thanks for your kind words!

  2. am sorry gal if u need a
    am sorry gal if u need a friend am here. 4 u

    1. Thank you so much for your
      Thank you so much for your support.

  3. A bitter Lesson indeed, sorry
    A bitter Lesson indeed, sorry girl, i have always tried to caution young girls in matters of “Trust” in relationships and finally my boys have condemned me of betraying them by revealing their boyish character, who told them about this if not the girls themselves, i am afraid to warn again

    1. Thanks for your supportive
      Thanks for your supportive words, Kelly!

  4. am really sorry for what ur
    am really sorry for what ur going through, just know that God gives us what we can handle. just pray for peace n know that those people around us;most of them are pretenders.

    1. Thank you for your kind words
      Thank you for your kind words, Edward!

  5. you are so strong. if i were
    you are so strong. if i were in your position… ata cjui wat i could have done..take heart God is with you.

  6. take heart,life is about
    take heart,life is about challenges.

  7. Am sorry gyal. Take heart….
    Am sorry gyal. Take heart….. U can consider me az 1 ov uafrnds if u dnt mynd.

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Suleiman.

  8. thats really heartwrecking..i
    thats really heartwrecking..i feel you.i hope you recollect urself soonest..cruel world!!

  9. IT’S Very sad but just take
    IT’S Very sad but just take heart am praying four u but try to find agud counciler to guide u u will be ok.

    1. Thanks for your support, Joab
      Thanks for your support, Joab.

  10. God grant u long life dear..
    God grant u long life dear…love you.

  11. I love girl..God be with you.
    I love girl..God be with you.

    1. Thank you for your sweet
      Thank you for your sweet words, Carson.

  12. You will be fine…forgive
    You will be fine…forgive and move on….you are not alone and it is manageable…. I wish there’s a way I would reach you….to show you how far you can go….

    1. Thank you Julie, that’s very
      Thank you Julie, that’s very kind of you!

  13. Thank you for sharing your
    Thank you for sharing your story,you are strong, and everything thos ppl u once called friends are not

    1. That’s a great point you are
      That’s a great point you are making!

  14. Am sorry 4 u gal but but your
    Am sorry 4 u gal but but your trust in God n u will live long take care don’t spread it n u will be blessed let’s be friends I want to e encourage u always

  15. My dear,always trust yourself
    My dear,always trust yourself i know you are very strong

  16. take heart gal n remember
    take heart gal n remember those who mind don’t matter but those who matter don’t mind.

    1. Thank you for your kind words
      Thank you for your kind words, Cecilia!

  17. I’m Aman For Surly Bt Sme Men
    I’m Aman For Surly Bt Sme Men Act Lyk Boyz They Nva Want Responsebility Of Wht They Do.Game N Eat N Run,men B Human

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Fao.

  18. Sori gal u are a strong lady
    Sori gal u are a strong lady just trust upon our Lord depend upon his word,frnds can leave u but him he is forever he’ll neva leave or forsake u

    1. Cassie,

      Cassie,
      thank you for your supportive words.

  19. Sori gal u are a strong lady
    Sori gal u are a strong lady just trust upon our Lord depend upon his word,frnds can leave u but him he is forever he’ll neva leave or forsake u

  20. thats so sad.. but all is
    thats so sad.. but all is well ..take heart sister

    1. Thank you for your kind words
      Thank you for your kind words, Peter.

  21. Hey Gyal God Is There 4 u he
    Hey Gyal God Is There 4 u he has 4given so appreciate wateva’s happening n dont care about ua lost pals atlist u’ve now known ua real pals nwei pal am wth u in prayers.Dont mourn ua mistake koz we’re bond 2 makin them as a matter of fact show the world the best n great things u’ve got.lol

    1. Thanks for your support,
      Thanks for your support, Venny.

  22. take hrt n don’t lose hope in
    take hrt n don’t lose hope in life.

  23. What I believe in is that…
    What I believe in is that Good only gives us what we can handle n sure we can..my story is almost the same as yours but what do we do ts irreversible..let’s thank God for seeing each day coz others are worse…

    1. Hey Serita, thank you for…
      Hey Serita, thank you for your contribution.

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