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(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Sex and pregnancy

When you're pregnant, you want to do everything right so you can have a healthy baby. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions.
I had hard sex. Could it have harmed the baby?

No. You can have sex any way you like when you’re pregnant, and it won’t do the baby any harm. The baby is completely protected inside your womb. Some women find they feel more sensitive and want to have sex more when they’re pregnant. That’s fine – the happier and more relaxed you are, the healthier your pregnancy will be!

It’s true that an orgasm can sometimes trigger an early miscarriage, but it won’t be the cause. It just sets off something that was going to happen anyway.

Also, after an orgasm, your tummy might go hard and feel tight and painful. This is fine, it does no harm at all. Normally when you have an orgasm your womb contracts, but you’re not aware of it. But now you’re pregnant, it’s very obvious. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s completely harmless. It won’t cause a miscarriage or premature birth.

As the pregnancy goes on it can be uncomfortable to have intercourse with the man on top. You’ll need to find other positions, for example lying on your side with your partner behind you. Or you might just feel like having sex in other ways without having intercourse. Or not at all. Just follow your feelings.

The only times you shouldn’t have sex when you’re pregnant is if your waters have broken, if you’re bleeding, or if your midwife or obstetrician says that for a particular reason you have an increased risk of giving birth prematurely.

I got drunk – but I didn’t realise I was pregnant. Could it have harmed the baby?

If you drank a lot of alcohol, smoked, got ill or took drugs before you realised you were pregnant, it’s logical you should worry. Luckily in the first two weeks, there’s hardly any contact between your body and the fertilised egg.

The exchange of blood between you and your embryo only really starts after the time you know your period is late. So if you start living healthily as soon as you realise you’re pregnant, a drinking binge the week before won’t have done any harm.

Of course, it’s possible that you might not realise you’re pregnant straight away. You might have had a little bleeding – ‘spotting’ in your underwear – and thought it was a very light period. Or you might have missed a period or two but somehow not taken on board the fact that you’re pregnant.

In this case, there’s no point worrying if anything you’ve done up to now might have harmed your baby. The important thing is to act now, and start following the tips to look after the baby inside you.

I’m on the pill and I still got pregnant. Could it have harmed the baby?

So you’re on the birth control pill, or you use another hormonal contraceptive but you still got pregnant? You might worry that the contraceptive pill has harmed your baby. The good news is there’s no definite evidence that taking the pill when you’re pregnant can harm your baby – so don’t worry.

On the other hand, there’s no definite evidence that taking the pill when you’re pregnant doesn’t harm the baby. It might say in the instructions with your contraceptive pills that you shouldn’t take them when you’re pregnant.

If you think you could be pregnant, you should stop taking the pill. But remember you might not be pregnant, so if you have sex, make sure you use another kind of contraceptive.

Did you learn something new?


Hello Praise, the choice as to how to address the pregnancy is one that is largely in the hands of your girlfriend. You can take with her and share your concerns but she has to make the ultimate decision of how to proceed. Find a good time, take about this. Get to know what she wants moving forward and agree on how to proceed together. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/am-i-pregnant

Sun, 11/24/2019 - 11:01 am
Greetings.. Pls my wife is 4months pregnant but she do Complaine of abdominal pain and lack of apitite for food but always desiring for fluids. Pls what Could be the Cause?
Mon, 02/17/2020 - 12:41 pm
Am three weeks pregnant, I had sex with my husband. Two days later I started have a cloth like discharge. Could it be a miscarriage or sperm

Hi Vivian, 

Vaginal discharge is not only harmless but a pretty crucial part of having a vagina: it helps flush out bacteria and keep your lady parts clean. However, discharge comes in many forms, so it can be hard to know whats normal. Some women who are pregnant experience a fleshy, tissue-like discharge that resembles dead skin, which can be unsettling to find.

The most common causes of discharge during pregnancy include:

Vaginal progesterone: In some cases, pregnant women need to take progesterone, which helps thicken the lining of their uterus and maintain the pregnancy. The carrier material is often not absorbed, can clump up and also look like an unusual discharge.

Biochemical pregnancy: A biochemical pregnancy refers to a very early miscarriage where a fertilized egg doesn't implant itself properly. This type of pregnancy will show up positive on a urine pregnancy test, but an ultrasound will not be able to detect it. Miscarriage tissue can appear a tan or light pink colour. If you sees that, you should notify your doctor and save the tissue in case it's necessary to do testing on it."

Uterine bleeding: There can be bleeding inside the uterus that stops, but the blood that was there can clot and then be expelled days later. When it comes out, the old blood can look stringy, granular and dark. This type of discharge is relatively common, but you should still consult your doctor about any vaginal bleeding during pregnancy.

Elevated oestrogen levels: Higher levels of oestrogen and increased blood supply to the uterus and vagina produce an increasing amount of secretion during pregnancy.

Healthy vaginal discharge is usually thin, clear or milky white, and shouldn't smell bad, If you experience any unusual discharge or vaginal bleeding, let your health care provider know immediately.

Hello Risper, thank you for reaching out. Vomiting during pregnancy is completely normal, even after the first trimester. The nausea is caused by the pregnancy hormone HGC – the one that shows up in a pregnancy test. This does a really important job in stopping your pregnancy from ending prematurely. The unfortunate ‘side effect’ is that it can make you want to throw up. For most women who have morning sickness, the symptoms start around six weeks after their last period.
From around week 12 the sick feeling usually starts to ease off, and by week 16 it’s over because the HGC hormone has done its job and your body stops producing it.
Some women have little or no nausea in the first weeks of pregnancy. Other women hardly feel able to do anything because they feel so queasy all the time. It can help to eat little and often, and avoid having an empty stomach. For more information on what to expect during your pregnancy, click here: https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/being-pregnant/your-body-and-pregnancy

Hello Hannah, thank you for reaching out to us. There is a possibility that you are pregnant but there is also a possibility that your menstrual cycle has delayed this month. The best thing to do is go to your nearest available pharmacy and get a pregnancy test to find out for sure. 


Love Matters Team. 

Please advise my wife is three to four weeks pregnant but still mestrating and she eat every minute and pee severally,pls advise

Hello Ojo, thank you for reaching out and we are sorry you and your wife are going through a hard time. You can't have your menstrual period while you're pregnant. Some women do have vaginal bleeding during pregnancy. Some even report intermittent bleeding that seems like a regular period to them. But vaginal bleeding during pregnancy is not the same thing as menstruation.

Bleeding occurs during pregnancy for various reasons, some serious and some not. Some women have light bleeding or spotting in the week before their period is due and they may mistake that for a period. It's generally a lot lighter than a typical period and lasts just a day or two.

This spotting has been called "implantation bleeding" because of the idea that it might be caused by the fertilised egg burrowing into the blood-rich lining of the uterus. But no one knows what really causes it.

You may have spotting after a Pap smear, vaginal exam, or sex. This is because there's more blood going to your cervix during pregnancy.

Bleeding can also be a sign of something seriously wrong, such as an infection, placental problems, miscarriage, or an ectopic pregnancy, which can be life-threatening.

If you notice bleeding while you're pregnant, call your doctor or midwife right away, even if the bleeding has stopped. Many women who bleed a little during pregnancy deliver without complications, but you may need an evaluation to rule out a serious problem.

If you're actively bleeding or have severe pain of any kind and can't immediately reach your practitioner, head straight to the emergency room.

Hello Asah Sunday, thank you for reaching out to us and asking a great question. Folic acid is a pregnancy superhero and is what you are referring to! Taking a prenatal vitamin with the recommended 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid before and during pregnancy can help prevent birth side defects of your baby's brain and spinal cord. Take it every day and go ahead and have a bowl of fortified cereal, too. Folic acid is a man-made form of a B vitamin called folate. Folate plays an important role in the production of red blood cells and helps your baby's neural tube develop into his/her brain and spinal cord. The best food sources of folic acid are fortified cereals. Folate is found naturally in dark green vegetables and citrus fruits.

Birth defects occur within the first 3-4 weeks of pregnancy. So it's important to have folate in your system during those early stages when your baby's brain and spinal cord are developing. If you talked to your doctor when you were trying to conceive, she probably told you to start taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid. One study showed that women who took folic acid for at least a year before getting pregnant cut their chances of delivering early by 50% or more.

The CDC recommends that you start taking folic acid every day for at least a month before you become pregnant, and every day while you are pregnant. However, the CDC also recommends that all women of childbearing age take folic acid every day. So you'd be fine to start taking it even earlier.

If you picked out your own prenatal vitamin, take it to your OB once you're pregnant to make sure it has the recommended amounts of everything you need, including folic acid. All prenatal vitamins are not the same and some may have less or more of the vitamins and minerals you need.

Best regards,


Love Matters Team!

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