Woman licking ice-cube containing a phallic cactus
© Love Matters | Rita Lino

Oral sex: taste the pleasure

Oral sex is when you pleasure someone else’s genitals with your mouth, or they use their mouth on your genitals.

Oral sex on her

Oral sex on a woman is when you stimulate her clitoris and vagina with your tongue and lips. People also call it ‘going down on a woman’. Many women find this very arousing, and it can bring them to orgasm.

How do you do it?

There are lots of ways to give oral sex. What feels nice is different for every woman and can be different every time.

  • You can lick around or over the clitoris.
  • You can lick the labia or inside the vagina.
  • You can lick faster or slower, harder or more gently.

Ask your partner what she likes. Get to know her so you can really give her pleasure. You can also just try something and pay attention to her body language. Is she getting moister and moaning? Then you must be getting it right!

If you can’t keep it up or your jaw starts aching, stop or change position. Or switch to using your fingers for a while.

If you don’t like the idea of giving oral sex, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

Are you curious? Have a shower together first, so you feel nice and clean. And you can start making love under the shower!

Remember that you can stop doing it at any time. You don’t have to continue if you don’t like it.
Many women can have an orgasm through oral sex, but not every woman. Even if she doesn’t have an orgasm, oral sex can still feel wonderful.

Advanced oral sex

Use your hands and tongue at the same time. For example, you could put a finger inside her vagina and move it back and forth, gently or a little harder, while you stimulate her clitoris with your tongue. Many women like it if you switch between your tongue and your finger.

You can give oral sex in different positions. The woman can lie on her back and you can lie between her legs – though this isn’t the best position for your neck. You can also lie down so she can sit on your face. She can also sit on a table or the edge of a chair so you can sit in front of her between her legs. In short: use your imagination.

Oral sex on him

Oral sex on a man means stimulating the penis with your mouth. People also call it giving a blow-job, giving head, or ‘going down’ on a man. Many men find this very arousing, and it can bring them to orgasm.

How do you do it?

There are lots of ways to give oral sex. What feels good is different for every man and can feel different every time.

  • When you give oral sex, you can hold the penis in one hand. Then you can guide the movement and determine how deeply you take the penis in your mouth. Use plenty of spit – it’s a natural lubricant.
  • Lick your lips before you start. You can move your mouth over the penis faster or slower, with long strokes or short ones, harder or more gently, only over the head of the penis, or also down over the shaft.

Ten tips:

1. Ask your partner what he likes. Get to know him so you can really give him pleasure.

2. Pay attention to his body language. If he moans and his penis stiffens, you must be doing it right!

3. Don’t use your teeth! It hurts.

4.  Be careful with the penis and testicles. Your mouth and lips are soft, but you’ll probably also use your hands. Pay attention to how he responds to see if you’re being too rough.

5. Don’t take the penis too deeply inside your mouth – it can make you gag.

6. Stop if your jaw starts aching, and switch to using your hand for a while.

7. Don’t get sperm in your mouth, as you could run the risk of HIV infection, although the risk is very low. Otherwise, use a condom (you can get flavoured ones).

8. If he does come in your mouth, spit out the sperm.

9. A lot of men like to come in your mouth, but if you don’t want this you can also think of something else, like having him come on your breasts or belly.

10. You don’t have to give a man oral sex if you don’t want to. But if you are you curious? Have a shower together first, so you feel nice and clean. And you can start making love under the shower! Remember that you can stop doing it at any time. You don’t have to continue if you don’t like it.

Did you know...?

If a man drinks a lot of coffee and alcohol and he smokes, it makes his sperm taste bitter and sour. Sweet fruit and vegetables make the sperm sweeter.

Comments
Hey Owino, Yes Semen contains Multivitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid among others. So yes it has health benefits.
Hello Leanes, Sorry about this. One of the major causes of painful intercourse is dry sex or when your partner penetrates before the vaginal self lubricates. It may also be caused fear based on a previous experience or an infection. A good place to is by getting to know what could be causing this. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-and-periods
Dear Barbra, sex during menstruation is absolutely okay and it is safe!The chances of becoming pregnant during menstruation are extremely small, but it can still happen. Read this article for more information:https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/female-body/sex-during-your-period-top-five-facts

Hey DeBoss, It is important that you talk to your partner about this and find out why she doesn't want to receive oral sex from you. You can then together agree on how to make her comfortable so she can also receive it from you. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/cunnilingus-the-ultimate-dos-and-donts

Hi there, there are a couple of ways in which women can ‘ejaculate’ during orgasm. It can be a milky spurt a bit like what men produce when they orgasm, or a huge a watery gush which is a clear liquid. This is not urine and also one can produce upto a litre of this liquid. Check out this articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/orgasms-myths-busted

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

Hey Tess, Taking sperm into your mouth may expose you to infections particularly if you are not certain of the person you are with. In this case, you can consider using flavored condom to protect against such infections. If he does come in your mouth, spit out the sperm. You dont have to have oral sex if you do not wish to. Check out the following articles;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/oral-sex-taste-the-pleasure

https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

Hey Joshua, oral sex without a condom for a man or a dental dam (also called a vaginal dam – a square of latex to cover the vagina) for a woman is unsafe and can lead to one getting an infection through the vaginal fluids. One can be use a dental dam to prevent the fluids from getting into the mouth. Check out the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

Hey Lenny, oral sex, which may include licking the vagina  without a condom for a man or a dental dam (also called a vaginal dam – a square piece of latex to cover the vagina) for a woman is not safe and can expose one to infections. Check out the following article to get to know what is safe and what's not;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

I think there something wrong with my partner. He insisted we oral sex I gave in now I enjoy it sometimes. But now he wants anal sex he says we shall be both enjoy but the things I have heard about it I can't even try. What should I do so that I don't disappoint him?

Hey Sylvia, it appears your partner is very adventurous and there is nothing wrong with this. However, if you are not comfortable with something he wants to try out let him know and also you don't have to do it. You can enjoy anal sex with your partner, take time learn as much as you can then if and when you are ready, try it out. Remember, you can change your mind at any point if you don't wish to continue. If he does care about you, he will respect your choice and he will not be disappointed if you choose different. Check out the following articles for additional information;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/anal-sex-the-new-frontier

Pls my girlfriend is a virgin... but she want me to take, but she cried each times i try to do it...... so now i don't really know what to next

Hi Nelson, first time sex can be painful especially if the girl is not well prepared and if she is not relaxed. It is important that you spend time in foreplay which will get your girlfriend arouse and the vagina will become moist and lubricated which makes penetration easier and enjoyable for both partners. Also, do communicate, make sure your partner is relaxed and ready before penetration. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-makes-it-good

Hi, oral sex has no effect. However, if the partner receiving oral sex has a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) and not protection is used during oral sex, the STI can be transmitted to the person giving it. It is therefore important to use protection. Check out this article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

Hi Leah, if you get sperm in your mouth you could run the risk of HIV infection, although the risk is very low. It is adviceable that you use a condom for protection, the flavored condoms are ideal for this. Aside from this it is in fact healthy to swallow semen. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/semen-top-five-facts

Hello Martin, have you asked your partner why they don’t like it? Getting to know what they don’t like it may help in addressing the issues. It is however, important that you respec their choice if they don’t wish to engage in oral sex. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

Hey Dottie, there is a small chance that one could get infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection like HIV when they take semen into their mouth. This is why it is important to use protection like condoms. In the absence of such infections one can swallow semen since it is not harmful. Check out the following article;-https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/semen-top-five-facts

Hello, yes you can get other infections other than HIV if you have unprotected oral sex. It is important to use protection to prevent taking bodily fluids in your mouth that may lead to infection. Check out the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/staying-safe

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