Anal sex: top five facts

Anal sex: top five facts

Anal sex – plenty say they love the intense sensation and pleasure. But many others cringe at the idea of anything other than water and soap getting near their rear end.

  1. How does it work?

    When having anal sex, two things are very important: taking it slowly and using lots of lubricant. The anus, unlike the vagina, doesn’t have any natural lubrication. But if you want anal sex to be painless, you will need to make up for that with lots of lube.

    Also, your partner has to be very relaxed, so the muscles around the anus aren’t tight. You should start by stroking the anus and after a while, you can slip in a finger and see how your partner likes it. If all’s good, you can put the head of your penis inside.

    Move very, very slowly. Fast movements will hurt. Anal sex needs some time to get used to, and the slower you move and the more time and lube you take, the better your chances of enjoying it!

  2. Is it dirty?

    It is a good idea to ask your partner to visit the bathroom and wash the area around the anus with soapy water before having anal sex. But enemas are not necessary (actually, they can irritate the anus and the bowel). 

    The ‘tube’ inside your anus is the rectum. It’s a temporary store for stool that’s ready to leave the body. If you’re healthy, and you don’t have diarrhoea, constipation or intestinal diseases, once you’ve been for a poo, the rectum is left empty and pretty much clean until the next load of waste comes along.

    If you are too worried about it being dirty but still want anal sex, you could try starting in the shower. Just remember that your lube should be silicone-based then, because water-based lube will wash away in the shower.

  3. Why does it feel so good?

    For men, anal sex feels really good because their prostate gets plenty of attention. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland which you can feel through the wall of the rectum about five centimetres inside. Stimulating the prostate can give a man truly amazing orgasms. 

    Also, the anus and rectum are much tighter than the vagina, and that makes penetration a very pleasurable sensation for men.

    Women like anal sex because there are many nerve endings around the anus which means it’s very sensitive to touch (men have those nerve endings, too). Stimulation feels good and can give intense pleasure.

  4. Anal sex and STDs

    The risk of getting an STD when you have anal sex is very high. Because the anus doesn’t have any natural lubrication, it’s very likely that you can get small tears around it when having anal sex. And that makes it very easy for viruses like HIV to get into your body. Which is why you should always use a condom when having anal sex! 

    Also, don’t move from the anus to the vagina without giving the penis (finger or toy) a good wash and changing the condom – the bacteria living around the anus can cause vaginal infections.

  5. It’s not gay

    Some claim that anal sex is only for homosexuals. This is not true. Anybody can have anal sex. First of all, gay sex isn’t just anal. And not all gay men go for it. Just over 60 per cent of homosexual men have anal sex on a regular basis, a study estimates.

    Men sometimes doubt their sexual orientation when they realize they enjoy anal action. But because of the intense sensation and orgasms they can get from having their prostate stimulated they shouldn’t worry too much. So if you’re straight, don’t be shy: if you’d like your partner to slip a finger inside, talk to her, or show her.

Do you have questions about anal sex? Head to our discussion board – our moderators will be able to answer all your questions.

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Recent Comments (128)

  1. this information is shallow..
    this information is shallow…anal should remain a gay bizns.nkt!

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      thanks for your comment. Why do you think this information is shallow? Anal sex isn’t just for homosexuals. That said, if anal sex isn’t for you, that’s fine. Nobody says you need to have it.

        1. Hi Jj, 

          It is actually hard…

          Hi Jj, 

          It is actually hard to know that someone is gay unless they confirm that they identify as such. What made you conclude that? Love Matters is a free space so don’t be afraid to share you views as long as it is done respectively and with tolerance. 

  2. anal sex is against nature,i
    anal sex is against nature,i think mental ill people practice these,psychatric needed.

    1. Hi there, thank you for your
      Hi there, thank you for your comment. We disagree though- by no means is anal sex just for the mentally ill. But of course, if you don’t want to have anal sex, it’s fine.

      1. Hi Solob,

        Hi Solob,
        thank you for your comment- we are very glad to hear that!

  3. As a healthy, mentally sound
    As a healthy, mentally sound female. I love anal. I wouldn’t want to do it all the time (once every 4/5 months maybe) but the intimacy between me and my husband is always very strong for the next several weeks. Anal helps us connect on a more emotional level because of the account of trust that goes into it.
    Definitely not homosexual (some “gays” don’t even want to do it or never do). There are other ways to be intimate with your partner even without sex. If you ask me, homosexual men tend to have a more emotional than physical relationship.

    1. Hi there, thanks, it’s good
      Hi there, thanks, it’s good also to see a positive comment!

  4. Its onli used as an exit y
    Its onli used as an exit y use it as an extrance? Snt it ridiculous? Onli pussy used as an extrance ad as an exit, dat absurd ad nuttx

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment. It’s alright if it’s not for you, but others do enjoy it.

  5. Its onli used as an exit y
    Its onli used as an exit y use it as an extrance? Snt it ridiculous? Onli pussy used as an extrance ad as an exit, dat absurd ad nuttx

    1. Hi theres, thank you for your
      Hi theres, thank you for your comment. Some people enjoy it, so it’s good to talk about it. It’s fine if you don’t like it. You don’t have to do it.

  6. Its onli used as an exit y
    Its onli used as an exit y use it as an extrance? Snt it ridiculous? Onli pussy used as an extrance ad as an exit, dat absurd ad nuttx

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment. we would love to hear why you think it’s awkward.

  7. Against da bble teachngs. nkt
    Against da bble teachngs. nkt

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment. We would like to hear more about this- please feel free why you think so.

  8. i tried but its was so
    i tried but its was so painful,so we ended up nt havng sex felt so sorry for my fiance he really wanted

    1. Hi Mimi, too bad, sorry.
      Hi Mimi, too bad, sorry. Maybe you should try with lots of lubrication?

  9. Am 27 yrs old , i usually
    Am 27 yrs old , i usually receive irregular period n am married i ave not yet succeded having a kid . can that be the cause?

    1. Hi Xeri, with irregular
      Hi Xeri, with irregular periods it’s difficult to judge when you are ovulating. And in order to get pregnant, you should have sex as close to your ovulation moment as possible. You could start monitoring your vaginal discharge or your temperature- both tend to change right before ovulation. And then, you need to have sex around that time. If it’s been more than 18 months, you might want to see a doctor about this, to make sure everything is okay. Please also check out our tips on pregnancy in the pregnancy section. Good luck!

  10. Am 27 yrs old , i usually
    Am 27 yrs old , i usually receive irregular period n am married i ave not yet succeded having a kid . can that be the cause?

  11. Am 27 yrs old , i usually
    Am 27 yrs old , i usually receive irregular period n am married i ave not yet succeded having a kid . can that be the cause?

  12. anal sex for men very

    anal sex for men very
    vital.

    1. Hi George, please tell us
      Hi George, please tell us more. Why do you think this is?

  13. Anal sex is unnatural and
    Anal sex is unnatural and unreligious irrespective to any religion one comes from, so it is also antisocial to indulge into such a nasty practice.

    1. Hello Muhammad,

      Hello Muhammad,
      Thank you for your comment. Please let us know why you think it is antisocial. We would love to hear more.

  14. Anal sex is a perveted
    Anal sex is a perveted behaviour,it is unnatural way of sex.

    1. Hello there, thanks for your
      Hello there, thanks for your comment. Please tell us why you think this is, we would love to hear more.

  15. God may give you His pardon!!
    God may give you His pardon!!!

    1. Thank you for your comment.
      Thank you for your comment.

  16. Anal sex is not gud coz it is
    Anal sex is not gud coz it is nt the right entry n the rison is tht,it lowers the quality of the vagina so guys beta avoid it.

    1. Hi Abdulmoha, thank you for
      Hi Abdulmoha, thank you for your comment. Could you explain why you think that having anal sex lowers the quality of the vagina? We would love to hear more about this!

  17. Hole am kazy by name am n lv
    Hole am kazy by name am n lv wt sex

    1. Hi Kazeem, that’s good to
      Hi Kazeem, that’s good to hear, because wet sex is actually the healthier type of sex. There’s less chance of wounds and tears, which isn’t only less painful but also less risky for STDs.

  18. is it nt awkward to do anal
    is it nt awkward to do anal sex?

    1. Hi there, it can be, but
      Hi there, it can be, but ‘normal’ sex can be awkward, too. It’s important that both you and your partner are okay with trying it, and then give it lots of time and patience. And lubrication helps. Please use condoms, as well.

  19. My fiance wants to do anal
    My fiance wants to do anal but I am very scared because I have never done it before. Besides lots of lubrication what else can be used to help the process be less painful

    1. Hi there, you need to relax.
      Hi there, you need to relax. If you are tense, your muscles will tense up, making it painful to be penetrated. Your fiance could try to stimulate your clitoris while he is entering you, that should help you relax. But generally, take lots of time and make sure he is very gentle.

  20. there is no pleasure in anal
    there is no pleasure in anal sex, i prefer oral sex its normal n more pleasure

    1. Hi Manoa, that’s actually not
      Hi Manoa, that’s actually not true. Especially for men, anal sex is very pleasurable, as when they are the receptive partner, their prostate gland gets stimulated, which can cause intense orgasms. But if you don’t want to try, you of course don’t need to, that’s entirely up to you.

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment. We would love to hear more- why do you think it is antisocial?

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment!

    1. Hi Tim, thanks for your
      Hi Tim, thanks for your comment.

  21. I just dont like coz itz not
    I just dont like coz itz not acceptable in the society

    1. Hi Tush, thank you for your
      Hi Tush, thank you for your comment. Why do you think it’s not acceptable in society? And would you try it if it was?

  22. i think it’s inhuman to have
    i think it’s inhuman to have anus and even worse than a dog!

    1. Hi Timothy, thanks for your
      Hi Timothy, thanks for your comment. We are not sure we quite understand what you mean- everybody has an anus. Do you think it’s inhuman to have anal sex?

  23. I hate it because it is dirty
    I hate it because it is dirty,painful and antisocial better oral sex

    1. Hi Steve, thanks for your
      Hi Steve, thanks for your comment. Not to worry- if you don’t like anal sex, you don’t need to have it.

  24. It distorts the value of sex
    It distorts the value of sex

    1. Hi there, thank you for your
      Hi there, thank you for your comment. We would like to hear more- why do you think it distorts the value of sex.

    1. Hi there, thank you for your
      Hi there, thank you for your comment!

  25. is this a way of promoting it
    is this a way of promoting it? not helpful at all uv failed me….God forgive u……unlikin the page

    1. Hi there, we are sorry you
      Hi there, we are sorry you feel this way. We know that some people like to have anal sex, so we think it’s important to talk about the risks and how to keep it safe.

  26. Hahaha, thats an abuse to my
    Hahaha, thats an abuse to my beb, I appriciate the role of her pussy and her ass as well

    1. Hi Rival, thank you for your
      Hi Rival, thank you for your comment.

  27. Upuuuuuuuzi mtupu…….weka
    Upuuuuuuuzi mtupu…….weka kitu baali yake

    1. Gaza, asante kwa maoni yako
      Gaza, asante kwa maoni yako

  28. Hi,its a world of freedom of
    Hi,its a world of freedom of choice.idealistically sex is penis and vagina issue n threfore I believe anal sex isnt what sex was intended for unless my fellow human beings r loosing direction.am pursuaded by my instinct to say so. I may pursuade U to use organs for what they were intended for.which is nway sofistication ideologies which is Civilisation.thanks.

    1. Hi Mwita, we agree. It’s
      Hi Mwita, we agree. It’s freedom of choice. And if some people enjoy anal sex, we aren’t here to judge. Our role is to provide information on safe and satisfying sex. And if for some people this involves anal, we provide them with information on how to do it safely.

  29. It’s good because it expounds
    It’s good because it expounds variations of sexual experiences to the partners.

    1. Hi John, thank you for your
      Hi John, thank you for your comment.

  30. for me am against it, it
    for me am against it, it clearly shows that some men might endup admiring other men booty & do the same to them

    1. Hi there, thanks for your
      Hi there, thanks for your comment. It’s okay if you don’t want to have anal sex, that’s up to you. But there is absolutely no evidence that engaging in anal sex will change anything about your sexual orientation.

    1. Hi there, thank you for your
      Hi there, thank you for your comment. Could you elaborate on this further?

  31. Leviticus 18:22“ ‘Do not have
    Leviticus 18:22“ ‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.”

    1. Hi there Anthony,

      Hi there Anthony,
      what makes you think that anal sex automatically involved two men? What about a man and a woman?

  32. Jeez why on earth is everyone
    Jeez why on earth is everyone so serious about anal sex? It’s just anal sex. All these comments from people bringing religion into this and looking down at the Lovematters author need to take a step back and think. If they are really that Holy then they should let God do the judging and not them. Come up with more constructive input on the matter of anal sex. Not just ‘oh dat iz sick’ or ‘oh may God pardon you’. We are all equal in the Lord’s eyes. Bring something constructive to the table or keep your prejudices to yourself and get a life.

    1. Hi Mercy,

      Hi Mercy,
      That’s okay. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

  33. which days a safe to have sex
    which days a safe to have sex with your partner bt u want to control unwatend pregnant using nataral method plz help am 22 yrs

    1. Hello Christopher,

      Hello Christopher,
      we hope you are okay with being a father soon- because natural family planning, like counting safe days, are very unreliable.
      If you chose to use it, don’t have unprotected sex on day 7 to 14 of your partner’s menstrual cycle.
      Good luck!

  34. i always admire the boot,
    i always admire the boot, even men look it when choosing their patner nothing wrong with it.
    it gives me apetite.!

  35. hey…do anal sex loosen your
    hey…do anal sex loosen your anus & one pups anytym without breaks…..& wen ur used to it will u b filling ichy each tym especialy wen u miss it???

    1. Hi Shazny,

      Hi Shazny,
      those are all myths. No, you will not release stool all the time when you have anal sex. And no, it’s won’t feel itchy at all. Nothing to worry about!

      1. This is a lie please tell…
        This is a lie please tell people the truth so that they can know the consquences am a medical personel and i have seen a women having these challenges and she needed help. If u are real tell the world the truth rather than u covering up

        1. Hi, 

          Thank you for your…

          Hi, 

          Thank you for your input. Kindly clarify what point you disagree with so that we can discuss/clarify this further. 

  36. Its terrible! Y dont u talk
    Its terrible! Y dont u talk of da disadvantages, i feel sori for homoz esp afta c’g one homo whose intestines came out of his body thru da ass in uganda lst yr n he aint da only one buh as said ‘forbidden fruit tastes beta’. Lord ve mercy!

    1. Mitchie,

      Mitchie,
      if done correctly, anal sex is perfectly safe.
      And, by the way, it’s not just homosexuals who have anal sex; and, many homosexuals have other forms of sex, as well, not just anal sex.

  37. mungu ata ukumu kila mutu na
    mungu ata ukumu kila mutu na matendo yake alietenda kwakuwa duniani akuna aliye musafi.let them be free

    1. Thanks for your comment, Jay.
      Thanks for your comment, Jay.

  38. 37 yr old man straight. Love
    37 yr old man straight. Love love love anal best orgasms I’ve EVER had only had toys never real penis in me doesn’t hurt when done correctly..

  39. Anal is adventurous and sweet
    Anal is adventurous and sweet. It gives one orgasms like u can never imagine. I love it

    1. Hi Cherry, thanks for sharing
      Hi Cherry, thanks for sharing that with us.

  40. I do it if the chick request
    I do it if the chick request it and likes but under other circumstances no.

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Stano.

  41. there is nothing as sweet as
    there is nothing as sweet as analsex I love it more than everything its sweet especially when the lady has big ass

    1. Hi David,

      Hi David,

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

  42. Am afraid of having anal sex
    Am afraid of having anal sex but my boyfriend loves it. I tried it once it was so painful. The following day my poop was full of blood. What can I do? Is it normal to see that on the first day?

  43. People need to take a chill…
    People need to take a chill pill when it comes to stuff they are unfamiliar with, even better try and numb their pre-conceived notions of subjective kinds of topics like these. It’s normal to bias something based on what defines normal and acceptable to you, whether it’s your culture, upbringing or whatever. Try and stop trying to define an issue based on what you think is right or wrong and why. If anal sex is for mentally ill people then that’s fine, for you, nobody is asking you for anal sex. We on the other hand came here for honest feedback on anal sex, not mentally ill people or ‘gay bizns’ feedback.

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution.

  44. Am open minded never had sex…
    Am open minded never had sex with men though, your article has been very helpful. I know have the bigger picture, my fear has always been pain…

    1. Hi Cyril, we are glad that…

      Hi Cyril, we are glad that this article was useful to you. Keep exploring the site for more informative articles.

  45. I don’t even know how I…
    I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    1. Hey Ariel, we appreciate the…

      Hey Ariel, we appreciate the feedback.

    1. Hi there, what do you find…

      Hi there, what do you find ridiculous? 

  46. I have been dating this girl…
    I have been dating this girl and we are about to start having sex but she told me we can only have anal sex. I am confused, is it normal for a girl to want anal sex and not the normal one?

    1. Hey TimK, I can imagine the…

      Hey TimK, I can imagine the confusion this has caused. Did she tell you why she prefers anal sex and not vaginal sex? There is nothing abnormal about wanting to have anal sex, but since you are concerned about why she prefers it, find a good time and talk about it to get know her reasons of preferring anal sex to vaginal sex. In the meantime have a look at the following article for additional information on anal sex;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/anal-sex-top-five-facts

    1. You are welcome Roman.

      You are welcome Roman.

  47. i love anal,,very relaxing…
    i love anal,,very relaxing to my asshole.,becomes WTF on ecountering a big dick

    1. Hi ck254, thank you for your…

      Hi ck254, thank you for your input. When engaging in anal always remember the water-based lube to make things easier.

    1. Hi Stepper, 

      There are…

      Hi Stepper, 

      There are several brands of lube out there. Talk to your pharmacist about available options and what’s best for you. If you would like to learn more about Top 5 Facts about Lubricants

  48. If only pple stopped wasting…
    If only pple stopped wasting time on “non issues” as Uhuru called it… Why can’t pple just get it that SEXUAL PERVERSION isnt good(ALL SINS ARE EQUAL) This goes to those using the Bible to qualify their point. All these must be CONDEMNED in equal measure

    * Masturbation
    * Bestiality
    * Fornication
    * Adultery
    * Homosexuality
    * Incest
    * Pornography

    If anyone here knows he does any of this then better shut up and seek deliverance. The bible says so

    1. Hi Elvis, 

      Love Matters is…

      Hi Elvis, 

      Love Matters is an inclusive platform that does not discriminate anyone based on their gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, etc. That is why we strive to provide information to all. We have articles that fit your orientation too! Check them out here: Love and relationships. We appreciated your engagement yet at the same time encourage tolerance and respect for all since we believe our differences should be celebrated and not condemned. 

  49. You love matters are…
    You love matters are promoting the forbidden actions here in Africa. U often encourage masturbations and now homosexuality! U r to be dealt with as Ur friends in the refugee camp. Shame on u. I hope every Africa reading this article is devastated.

    1. Hi Sultan,

      Love Matters is…

      Hi Sultan,

      Love Matters is open, honest and sex-friendly. We strive to provide information to people with different beliefs and attitudes towards sexuality and sexual health matters. This means we target people from all religions, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and cultural beliefs thus we have a duty to ensure that their informational needs are met adequately. We encourage people to share their opinions whether they agree or disagree with something as long as it is done respectfully.  

  50. Is anal sex Godly??
    What…

    Is anal sex Godly??
    What does the Bible say about it?

    1. Hi Austin, 

      Anal sex is…

      Hi Austin, 

      Anal sex is pleasurable for some and not for others. It’s all about choice and preference. Love Matters is here to provide information that can help people to have sexually satisfying lives. In terms of religion, you are best suited to make the decision personally. Religious beliefs are personal. Whatever you choose, let it guide you. All the best. 

  51. I wish i had a lady who’s…
    I wish i had a lady who’s okay with anal sex,..niko malindi

    1. Hi Tennessee, 

      You can…

      Hi Tennessee, 

      You can still get a lady who likes anal sex but Love Matters cannot help you with that. We are not a dating or hookup site. Perhaps you can try your luck with hookup sites available?

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