Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

My body is not perfect

I want to have sex with my partner for the first time but I am shy because I just think that my body is not perfect.

Perfection doesn’t exist

What I am about to tell you will sound trite, but it is the truth. You are right, your body is not perfect. Nobody has a perfect body. If the human race was propagated by the perfect amongst us, then we would have died off a long time ago.

I have been practising a form of hot yoga for more than five years now and because of the heat, many of us are almost naked in the room. We are about 35 men and women in the room on most days and I have yet to see a perfect body walk in. Big bellies, cellulite, stretch marks, big thighs… And please note, I am only talking about the men.

Love yourself

Just like the men in my yoga class, I am sure yours is imperfect too. Your imperfect man wants to have sex with you – perfectly flawed you. He wants to express his affection for you with his body and share his imperfections with you. I think that is pretty beautiful. Perfection on the other hand is boring. It’s our scars, marks, and idiosyncrasies that tell the story of who we are and make us unique and beautiful.

Scars from climbing trees and riding bikes when we were kids… Flat butts that we were teased about in high school before we learned to highlight other assets with our clothes…

It’s our scars, marks and idiosyncrasies that tell the story of who we are and make us unique and beautiful.

Focus on what you like

I guarantee you that if you did have a perfect body, you would be a different person and this man would not be as attracted to you as he is. Some aspect of your personality would be different, the way you carry yourself, and even your sense of compassion and humanity would be different – and perhaps even unattractive. Start giving thanks for the things about your body that you do like and you will see a shift in your attitude towards your imperfect body. It’s the body that allows you to be so much in the world.
 

Have you felt insecure about your body? How did you deal with it? Let us know if you need a boost to start loving yourself: our moderators are here for you.

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Recent Comments (20)

    1. You are welcome Hope.
      You are welcome Hope.

  1. I hv very many scars and that
    I hv very many scars and that,makes mi feel insecure and sometimes shy to undress miself for,him

    1. Hi Ntale, you should try
      Hi Ntale, you should try talking to your partner about it and find out what he thinks about it. Chances are they don’t bother him.

  2. a question…how do i loose
    a question…how do i loose my belly….it makes me shy to walk around with….i want the simplest method please thank you….

    1. Hi sharz, feel free to
      Hi sharz, feel free to consult your local gym instructor or exercise expert for tips on how to reduce your tummy.

  3. my boobs sag so much and i
    my boobs sag so much and i feel i
    nsecure and shy to undress for him

    1. Hi Arinda, talk to your
      Hi Arinda, talk to your partner about it and feel free to take what he thinks. It will help boost your confidence.

  4. Hey! theres some fluid that
    Hey! theres some fluid that comes out of my virgina every time i feel hot for him. so is it normal ? and if its not normal what should do?

  5. i agree because i hav strech
    i agree because i hav strech marks but my patner has no problem with them

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us.

  6. I don’t get vaginal fluid
    I don’t get vaginal fluid even when am turned on and it makes me afraid of having sex. What can I do?

    1. Hi Linda, you can try using
      Hi Linda, you can try using artificial lubricants to help with sex.

      look for the ky jelly in your local pharmacy.

      1. Hi key jelly is perfect and I
        Hi key jelly is perfect and I’m ready to assist

  7. Hi.my belly is so big and nid
    Hi.my belly is so big and nid to reduce it.any solutions pliz minus going to e Jim coz I have less tym fo working out.the for the bed tips

    1. Hi you can learn exercises
      Hi you can learn exercises that you can do at home that focuses on the belly. Try surfing the net to get assistance.

  8. Hey, thnx for sharing…..i
    Hey, thnx for sharing…..i feel that am so much slender, how can i gain a little bit of weight with respect to shape?

    1. Hi Tina, you can consult a
      Hi Tina, you can consult a nutritionist or a fitness expert to get professional advice on that.

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