Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
Shutterstock

I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous Wednesday, March 6, 2019 - 12:13
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Comments

Hi there, if you ejaculate in under two minutes, it means you could be experiencing premature ejaculation. It also means you usually get sexually excited too soon. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or even work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as one gets older and gain more experience, they also become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few other things one can do to overcome this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hi Don, this could be a case of erectile dysfunction especially if it happens each time you want to have sex. It is therefore important that you seek medical advice. Erectile dysfunction is when a man can't either gain or keep an erection. There a number of reasons that can cause it and this is why it is important to talk to a health care professional to find out what could be causing it and then prescribe appropriate treatment. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/erectile-dysfunction-top-five-facts

Hello Bill, there is not much you can do to make you penis longer or even thicker. Product and gadgets in the market do not provide permanent result and can lead to complications. On the other hand, having a longer or larger penis doesn't make one a better lover. It maybe useful to get to know what your partner likes and wants during sex. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/six-myths-about-increasing-penis-size 

Célestin
Sun, 07/14/2019 - 13:57
Hello!my problem which I have, I can last till I and my partner we release but my penis can't erect that time, it takes hours but before, it took like 20to 30min! what's a problem my friends?

Hello Celestin, it is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where it cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

My fiance complained of my penis size that it doesn't size her virginal enough she complain of not enjoying sex with me due to the fact that I'm not big enough and her virginal is quite wide for me too,and we are planing to get married. What can i do as regards to this

Hello Femi, first, penises come in different shapes and sizes and so do vaginas. There is little you can do to make your penis bigger, however even if you could, a bigger penis doesn't make one a better lover. Also, intercourse is only one of the activities during sex, there is so much more you can do to enjoy each other. Lastly, vaginal intercourse only will not get a woman to orgasm during sex since this doesn't give sufficient attention to the clitoris which is one of the most sensitive parts. One would have to lick it or stroke it with a finger. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/small-penis-its-all-in-the-mind

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>