Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
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I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous March 6, 12:13 pm
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Want to learn more? Read: Erectile Dysfunction: What To Do

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Did you learn something new?

Comments

Hello Charity, what your partner is experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and as he gains more experience he also gets better in controlling ejaculation. There are a few things he can do to to help better control his ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation Lastly, overcoming this will take practice and time, and for this reason your partner will need your support and understanding. 

Hello Austin, do you mean you ejaculate sooner that you want to? This is known as premature ejaculating. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and as he gains more experience he also gets better in controlling ejaculation. There are a few things he can do to to help better control his ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hey Ey, what your partner maybe experiencing experiencing is known as Delayed Ejaculation, where it takes longer than 30 minutes for one to ejaculate. This is something that happens to most men at different times of their sex life. One should concerned when it happens very often. It is caused by psychological factors which may include stress, fear or even anxiety. It maybe important to seeking medical attention if this happens often. Check out the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men 

Ephraim
Fri, 05/17/2019 - 11:45 am
after a foreplay of about 10-15 minutes, immediately i penetrate I don't last more than 2 minutes at first round, from the second round and above I maintain average time of 3.5-4 minutes before ejaculation.but i don't feel satisfied with the duration, I desire for longer time. is't okay (natural/normal)? is there ways of lasting longer than this? what are they possible ways without side effect? thanks.
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