Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
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I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous Wednesday, March 6, 2019 - 12:13
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Comments
It troubles a lot that whenever I want to havecsex my penis will not be strong enough for penetration even after foreplay.Moreover if I manage to get it ererected as soon as I started within few minutes I will come. What should I do? Do I take enhancement pills

Hey Abba, I am not sure what you mean by strong enough, but if you get an erection and you are able to have intercourse then this is okay. On the other hand, if you ejaculate sooner than you want you could be experiencing premature ejaculation. There are a few things you can do toward better controlling your ejaculation, check our this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation Lastly, only take pills that have been prescribed to you by a professional health care provider. 

Hi Emmanuel, it appears that you get very excited too soon to the point that you ejaculate. This is known as premature ejaculation, where you ejaculate sooner than you want to. This is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from either the relationship or work could also affect how soon they ejaculate. In younger men, it could be the result of sexual inexperience, as one gets older however and also gains more experience they become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few things your partner can do to overcome Premature ejaculation, see the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation  

Hi Lukman, what you are experiencing is known as premature ejaculation which can be caused by a number of reasons including fear, performance anxiety or stress. In younger men it could be as a result of sexual inexperience; as one gains more experience they also gain better control of their ejaculation. Check the following article for some tips on addressing premature ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hi WAAje, what do you mean by you have to force sperm out? Also, are you unable to gain and keep an erection? Not having sex for sometime does not make one unable to gain or even maintain an erection. However, it is possible for a man to not to be able to gain or even keep an erection for various reasons including stress or anxiety. If it happens all the time you want to have sex, it is important to seek medical advice. Have a look at the following article;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/erectile-dysfunction-top-five-facts

https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/ejaculation

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