Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
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I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous Wednesday, March 6, 2019 - 12:13
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Comments

Hello Emmanuel, you seem to be experiencing what is known as Premature ejaculation, which means you ejaculate sooner that you wish. This can be caused by a number of reasons including fear, performance anxiety, stress. In younger men it could be as a result of sexual experience; as one gains more experience they also gain better control of their ejaculation. The following are tips on how you can overcome premature ejaculation;- You could begin by regular exercises, eat healthy - avoid processed foods, relax during sex by taking short breaks and deep breaths. You can also distract yourself by thinking about non sexual things. Always begin with foreplay, you will find that your does enjoys an extended foreplay session. If you still have an erection after ejaculation you can still continue with intercourse. Check the articles;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hello Yusuf, it is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where it cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

Hi Tobex, some foods are known to stimulate ones desire for love making, different foods work for different people. These foods may stimulate the desire, there are a few things however one can do to last long during sex. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/aphrodisiacs-top-five-facts

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hey Son, what you seem to be experiencing is known as premature ejaculation which can be caused by a number of reasons including fear, performance anxiety or stress. In younger men it could be as a result of sexual experience, but as one gains more experience they also gain better control of their ejaculation. There are a few things one can do to better control their ejaculation. Check this article for tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Hello Penuel, it is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where the penis cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, your body is just telling you that it needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your body. If you are really hoping to have more sex, then take the time to recharge and focus on your partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. You will become hard again in no time and continue. 

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