Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
Shutterstock

I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous March 6, 12:13 pm
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Want to learn more? Read: Erectile Dysfunction: What To Do

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Did you learn something new?

Comments

Hi Ken, thank you for reaching out to us and sharing. As we pointed out in the article, masturbation will make you last longer in bed so you have nothing to worry about. Growing up we are told many things about masturbation a great majority of which are untrue to discourage us from masturbating. You should not be afraid.

Joroge weetu
Sun, 04/25/2021 - 07:42 pm
I cant stay long during sex. I know i have masturbated for years,i mean years.. Please how can i improve this coz i think if go this my relationship will soon end. How can i get back my erection?

Hello Joroge, thing is, it is possible that the mastirbation is helping you last longer. There are some remedies that could help you last a little longer. However, if you have premature ejaculation, you should go see  doctor.
One option is the stop-start method used to treat premature ejaculation but can also help a person last longer. This technique calls for the man to have sex or masturbate until you almost cum and then stop. When you’re about to climax, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure on the tube running underneath your penis. This will push blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension, calming your ejaculatory response.This should be repeated many times.
Another remedy is to engage in sex styles that do not stimulate the underside of the penis like spooning and reverse cowgirl. You could also masturbate before having sex.
 

Geoffrey
Sun, 04/25/2021 - 08:18 pm
I am married but after first round it takes my penis long to erect for the second round and if it does it goes for a short minutes the am done what could be the problem...
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>