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I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous Wednesday, March 6, 2019 - 12:13
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Comments

Hi Eddie, there are a number of reasons that can cause pain during sex. These include, the sex position during sex, the presence of an infection in the vagina, psychological issues like fear or stress, dry sex and in some cases the size of the penis. There are a few things you and your girlfriend can do to address the pain. Have a look at the following article for tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/when-sex-hurts

Anonymous
Fri, 03/22/2019 - 18:13
Recently my girlfriend visited me but I could not erect. She tried to touch me and kiss me but I just could not erect?

Hi, this is something that happens to most men at some point in their sex life. There are a number of reasons that may lead to this including stress, performance anxiety among other reasons. If this only happened once it should not be a concern but when it happens often it maybe important to seek medical advice. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men

I'm a victim of masturbation and every time I have sex within 5minutes my penis won't stand again. and when it falls it won't stand until next 5 minutes please tell me the solution and what can I do I need your help

Hey Paulinus, first, it is normal to loose an erection after ejaculation. Also, it should only be concerning if you ejaculate under two minutes or when it takes longer than 30 minutes to ejaculate. After ejaculation it takes sometime before one can get another erection, this period of time is known as refractory period. It varies from one person to another and there is no real way to reduce how much time it takes before you can gain another erection. All you can do is work with your body, relax and try not to stress about getting another since this may make it even more difficult. In time you will be ready to have sex again. Have a look at the following article;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

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