Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
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I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous March 6, 12:13 pm
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Want to learn more? Read: Erectile Dysfunction: What To Do

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Did you learn something new?

Comments

Dear Anonymous, what you are experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety, or even stress. The anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men, it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation.

There are a few things you can do to improve control and last longer. In the short term, you can take short breaks during intercourse, you can also apply firm pressure underneath the penis during intercourse to push blood out of the penis hence decreasing sexual tension, distract yourself to think about other nonsexual things, or use penis desensitizers. Penis desensitizers come in the form of sprays and creams that can be applied on the penis minutes before intercourse and they help to delay ejaculation. Sometimes a condom can help reduce the sensitivity on the penis. 

In the long term, one can ensure they eat healthily and avoid lots of processed foods, begin to exercise which improves blood flow in the body, reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol including smoking and more importantly reduce stress during intercourse. Foreplay will also play a critical role in preparing your partner and getting them closer to an orgasm.

The following articles provide more information;-

https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts
https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

Love Matters Team.

Round one mostly doesn't last.... After round one wash the banana with cold water and go back to bed cuddle a little bit then when the erection come for the second time my friend you won't fail her.. drugs are not always the solution

Hello Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. This is very common so do not worry, you are not alone. There are some remedies that could help you last a little longer. However, if you have premature ejaculation, you should go see a doctor.
One option is the stop-start method used to treat premature ejaculation but can also help a person last longer. This technique calls for the man to have sex or masturbate until you almost cum and then stop. When you’re about to climax, stop, and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure on the tube running underneath your penis. This will push blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension, calming your ejaculatory response. This should be repeated many times.
Another remedy is to engage in sex styles that do not stimulate the underside of the penis like spooning and reverse cowgirl. You could also masturbate before having sex.
 

Hey, me and my partner will are far from each other and sometimes I get it hard to control my desires, so I mustarbate may be ones in a week I fear diseases. With me mustarbating am I help myself or am poisoning myself ...?

Hi Kelvin, thank you for reaching out to us. It is understandable that you would think that masturbation is not right because we are brought up thinking it is a bad thing to do. Almost everyone masturbates – it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just part of being a sexual person. This article has some information that you should find helpful.

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

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