Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Can porn make me frigid?

Valentine, a friend of mine has been watching porn since form 2 and now she is in university. She was wondering if it can lead to impotence.

I love it when nice people ask questions for their ‘friends’ ;-).

Impotent vs. frigid

First of all, let us get the terminology right: impotence is the inability to attain or sustain an erection during sex. Your friend does not have a penis so the word does not apply. Women who are sexually unresponsive are said to be frigid. If your friend has been watching porn for years, I am pretty sure it is because she responds to it and enjoys it. So I highly doubt she is frigid.

Fantasies and expectations

Pornography is a sexual fantasy being acted out on film. We forget that it is a fantasy especially when we are not too sexually experienced. Porn can, therefore, create outlandish expectations of what human beings actually look like – hairless adults, beer bottle sized penises and huge immobile breasts are simply not the norm.

Also, when regular people have sex, it usually doesn’t involve a weird soundtrack, women having an orgasm within two minutes and men lasting forever before finally spraying ejaculate all over their partners.

People have tried to make the case that porn is harmless and even educational entertainment. But studies show that this is simply not true. For example, people who watch porn several times a week are more likely to cheat on their partners.

Normalising unusual behaviour

Porn tends to normalise relatively unusual sexual behaviour, such as anal sex and threesomes. Young people who learn how to have sex from watching porn expect their partners to comply with these behaviours. Porn will also not teach you how to have tender sex during which you talk to your partner and revel in their pleasure as much as your own.

While pornography will not make your ‘friend’ impotent or frigid, it could impact her self-esteem and body image and this, in turn, will impact her enjoyment of sex. Even porn stars do not look like porn stars in real life.

If she is worried, ask her to cut down on her porn watching and interact more with real people. Sex is after all best when had, not watched on screen.
 

Do you think watching porn is harmless or dangerous? If you have more questions, please go ahead and get in touch with our discussion board moderators.

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Recent Comments (13)

  1. Dangerous, people should
    Dangerous, people should avoid watching it since it has no importance at all.

    1. And what about if it gives
      And what about if it gives you pleasure?

  2. i like that, but dont this
    i like that, but dont this behavior bring about unreal sexual experiences?

  3. I know all too well the
    I know all too well the dangers porn produces. My husband, even after 19 years with me, is a porn addict. I am a thin and relatively fit, size 2 and attractive woman but I don’t enjoy sex anymore because he gets excited by seeing those women and I certainly am not that. My self esteem now is nearly non existent and we are definitely not the same as we were before I knew he looked at it. It kills relationships and it is NOT harmless.

    1. B,

      B,
      you point out a really important point here: that porn sets high expectations that cannot be met in real life. Thank you for sharing your story.

  4. Porn movies are extremely
    Porn movies are extremely enjoyable, it updates u with crucial knowledge on how to improve ur excitement when having sex. It has actually made me and my wife feel like having it any minute we are free, the moans, the praises,the heavy breath,woman driving on top,all is sweet fun,to conclude porn is healthy it makes sex sweet.

    1. Hmm, it is important though
      Hmm, it is important though that you remember sex in porn isn’t real sex. Real sex is different.

      1. It leads some to masturbate
        It leads some to masturbate

        1. Hi O.S.E, yes. Watching porn…

          Hi O.S.E, yes. Watching porn can lead to masturbation, it doesn’t have to though. 

  5. It’s not dangerous instead,it
    It’s not dangerous instead,it’s educative. This is bcz,thru waching those movies, pipo hv realised dat sex must be respected and is done by da r8t category of pipo.

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